Can I Do It 'Till I Need Glasses? (1977)

 

Dirty humor sketch film in the vein of If You Don't Stop It... You'll Go Blind!! (1975), Jokes My Folks Never Told Me (1978), notable for being the film debut of Robin Williams

Hot Ice (1978)

 

A married couple who make their living as scam artists and thievery hide out at a Matterhorn ski lodge.  There they find out about a pop singer's stash of diamonds and a heist begins.

Swingin' Models (1972)

 

A photographer teaches a model who refuses to pose nude the perils of gold digging and the casting couch. At a party he tells the backstory of the various women guests and their sad tales. Featuring the great Ingrid Steeger.

Love-Hotel in Tirol (1978)

 

 

Twin brothers inherit a dilapidated inn located in the beautiful countryside.  One twin wants to turn it into a "love hotel" complete with Bangkok whores (German girls in costume), and the other twin wants to make it a religious retreat for students.

Lust Weekend (1967)

A young couple is lured into a cult where they are tortured repeatedly.  First film from Director Henri Pachard.

Heaven's Touch (1983)

 

A nerd is screwed to death and an angel takes pity on him giving the nerd a second chance at life as a super stud.  I'm excited to watch this because I had a VHS catalog many years ago and well remember this cover.  It wasn't an adult film catalog, but it had an adult section in the back, and for some reason this image really sticks out in my mind. 

Sweet Dessert (1975)

 

(Original Title: Tatli Tatli) Mine Mutlu is kidnapped by her fan club and repeatedly raped.  One of the fanboys doesn't agree with her treatment and helps her escape.

Perfect in All Positions (1971)

 

(Original Title: Perfekt in allen Stellungen) A girl arrives in the city and takes a job as hotel maid.  She's repeatedly horrified by the goings on at the establishment, but it takes a while for it to dawn on her what kind of seedy place this is.

Bumsladen-Boss (1973)

 

This is a weird one: it starts as your typical lederhosen film with a rich girl thinking she's going to a high-class hostess training school which in reality is a brothel.  Sounds like your standard setup for a silly comedy.  But then it makes a hard right turn and becomes a revenge film. The rich girl's father is really a gangster who goes on a mission of revenge against the whorehouse pimps Charles Bronson style.

Intimate Private Contact (1984)

 

(Original Title: Intim Kontakt privat) A sex magazine runs a contest resulting in tons of calls relating their various sexual fantasies.  The film really just serves as a vehicle for archive footage (which I hate), so I debated even finishing the film.  However, it does feature the great Marilyn Jess and some really fun office space sex scenes, so I figured why not?

Video Zeta List - Home Invasion

 

If you've seen Funny Games, Desperate Hours or House on the Edge of the Park (possibly starting with In Cold Blood), you know the deal: a psycho(s) break into a house and proceeds to intimidate and torture the residents (generally female). For our top thirty, we'll judge on overall entertainment value, level of tension and terror (i.e. effectiveness of the home invasion tropes), and the sleaze factor. 

The Oral Generation (1970)

 

Yet another sex education film - not really aimed at educating anyone. The Family Studies Institute pretends to give guidance on sex, but they're not fooling anybody - but we're happy to play along. This one is a collection of tenuously linked vignettes - more akin to the Shameful Shorts than a proper sex ed documentary (aka White Coat film).

Hot Summer (1975)

 

(Original Title: La cognatina) A girl returns to her hometown after being away at a boarding school run by strict nuns.  She soon turns heads among the gents in town, which causes friction with her older sister.

The Farmer's Daughters (1975)

 

An adult Hicksploitation film - rowdy Hee-Haw humping gets serious when three men escaped from the state pen hold the farmer and his family hostage.

Wedding Night Report (1972)

 

(Original Title: Hochzeitsnacht-Report) I think we'll never reach the end of the Schulmädchen-Report films; just when I think I've seen them all, another pops up.  In this film, a wedding party is stuck at an inn due to a storm.  While the bride and groom go to their room, the party takes turn telling stories of their own wedding nights. Featuring the great Ingrid Steeger.

Sleepy Head (1973)

 

Joseph W. Sarno doing his Sarno thing - making every scene seem like a stage play; a rated-X Thornton Wilder if you will.  Here we have two sisters, one a holier-than-thou bible thumper and the other a sad and lonely woman without such religious predispositions.  The arrival of a hedonistic school chum causes them to ultimately switch roles.

The Love Professor (1981)

 

(Original Title: Professeur d'amour) A husband has his tryst at a beachside resort cut short when his lawyer wife shows up unexpectedly.

The Pussycat Syndrome (1983)

 

(Original Title: Die Töchter der Venus) Two models frolic around Greece having sex... and having more sex.

Private Secretarial Services (1980)

 

(Original Title: Secrétariat privé) A businessman enjoys the carefree sex with his wife, maid and two blonde secretaries.  What's his business?  Oh, he sells gold dildos. Nothing special.

Corruption (1983)

A loose adaptation of Richard Wagner's Das Rheingold about a group of shady businessmen seeking a mysterious briefcase which offers its owner untold power, on the condition that the owner renounce love.

Going Under (1998)

 

We've discussed William Hellfire's underground films many times before, so we'll refrain this go around, except to say - they could definitely get disturbing, dark, grimy, nihilistic, and mean-spirited... but isn't that kinda what you're looking for sometimes in a grindhouse picture?

High Season (1979)

 

(Original Title: Nackt und heiß auf Mykonos; Naked and Hot in Mykonos) A newlywed couple has a big fight.  Each goes on vacation - and little do they realize, they've gone to the same Greek island, and are in the same hotel... and falling in love with the same woman.

Oh My Beautiful Stepmother (1976)

 

(Original Title: Oh, mia bella matrigna) Sabina Ciuffini stars in this twisted little movie about murder and incest.

The Fruit Is Ripe (1977)

 

(Original Title: Griechische Feigen)  Betty Vergès stars as a capricious rich girl who flits around Greece, barely keeping her clothes on for a single frame.

The Love Mad Craftsmen (1972)

 

(Original Title: Semmel, Wurst und Birkenwasser - Die liebestollen Handwerker) A quaint German town is turned on its head when a dirty movie is shown at the local cinema.  This gets all the guys super horny; whereas the women (who haven't seen the film) are still stuck in their traditional modest ways. 

Body Girls (1983)

 

Hyapatia Lee stars as the owner of a gym whose select members are competing in a bodybuilding contest.  However a rival gym is sabotaging the event... so, yeah, kinda like Dodgeball.

Mary! Mary! (1976)

 

A guy sells his soul to cure his premature ejaculation problem.  Things go fabulously for a while, but like all deals with the devil, things take a bad turn.

White Slavers (1974)

 

A gritty cheapo adult film about two girls held captive on a yacht run by a trio of white slavers.

Touch Me (1993)

 

An Australian film about two women who escape their frustrating relationships and spend a weekend alone together in the country.

The Inn of Maladolescenza (1980)

 

(Original Title: La locanda della maladolescenza) Marcella Petrelli and Paola Montenero star in this Italian film about a high-class brothel.  A guest unaware of the real nature of the establishment falls in love with one of the whores.

Sweeties (1995)

 

(Original Title: Caramelle) A tale of a neglected, plump housewife unsuccessfully tries to attract her husband until some magic sweets do the trick.

Pledge Sister (1973)

 

Starring three early sexploitation all-stars Orita De Chadwick, Annette Michael and Becky Sharpe. A shy girl is coaxed into joining a sexually liberated sorority by her sister.

Hotel Paradise (1995)

 

A bride wakes up one morning next to a man chained to the bed, but cannot remember what happened the night before.

Rooftop Cats (1988)

 

(Original Title: Los gatos de las azoteas) Man, we've done so many of these Mexican comedies, how did we ever let this one slip past us?  The story takes place at a single apartment complex where there is a pharaoh fortune teller killing women - plus (as per usual) a million-and-one side stories and comedic skits.  

The True Story of the Nun of Monza (1980)

 

Zora Kerova stars in this Bruno Mattei nunsploitation film about the infamous 16th century Nun of Monza who has been the subject of at least five other movies.

Candy Goes To Hollywood (1979)

 

Sequel to the Erotic Adventures of Candy (1978) where Carol Connors resumes her role as clueless ditz who falls into trouble and out of her dress at every turn upon arrival in Hollywood.

Erotic Adventures of Candy (1978)

 

Ditzy and innocent Candy bounces from one sexual adventure to another.  Inspired by Terry Southern's 1958 novel which was adapted for film in 1968, and itself supposedly inspired by Voltaire's Candide  

Hot Summer of Love (1981)

 

(Original Title: Ein lasterhafter Sommer, AKA Sin Bragas Ya Lo Loco) There is no plot to be found here.  It's just six horny rich people screwing amid gorgeous vistas of Marbella. It's technically not a hardcore film, but still pretty darn explicit.

Housewives Report 4 (1973)

 

(Original Title: Hausfrauen-Report 4) More stories of unsatisfied German housewives featuring the usual hotties: Joanna Jung, Puppa Armbrüster, Elisabeth Volkmann, Dorothea Rau, Elke Boltenhagen, Monika Rohde, Karin Lorson, Anne Graf, and the greatest of the great Ulrike Butz.

 [Also see: Housewives Report (1971), Housewives Report 2 (1971), Housewives Report 3 (1972), Housewives Report International (1973) - and a list of all the Schulmädchen-Report films]

Suburb Murder (1992)

 

(Original Title: 香港姦殺奇案)   Based on the true story of Hong Kong's 1985 Braemar Hill murders - a particularly brutal and well made film.

Business as Usual (1978)

 

(AKA Loose Threads - a better title, actually) A weird one to say the least: It has a surprisingly complicated "plot" around a garment business and its competitor's dirty tricks.  None of it makes much sense, and ultimately is just an odd background for sex.

Insatiable Alicia and the Marquis (1983)

 

(Original Title: El marqués, la menor y el travesti -  The Marquis, the Minor and the Transvestite) Wow, if that's not a problematic title, I don't know what is - no wonder they changed it. A butler deceptively tries to get his niece hitched to an aristocrat under false pretense.  To the butler's dismay, the niece ends up having sex with pretty much everyone in the household except the marquis. 

Kinky Tricks (1982)

 

A Roberta Findlay film starring Candida Royalle as a prostitute down on her luck.  She relies on an old flame to help her out, providing her a place to stay - and carries on with her kinky call girl business without him knowing.

Substitute Teacher (1975)

 

(Original Title: La supplente) A student becomes obsessed with his buxom substitute teacher but eventually falls for her less lusty roommate instead.

Vista Valley PTA (1981)

 

Obviously a play on Harper Valley PTA, where a miniskirted parent is condemned by the conservatives. This film takes the inverse approach, where the a puritanical new teacher finds herself in a high school full of sin and iniquity. With the help of the hypocritical parents she seeks to stamp out the depravity.

Prison for Violent Women (1977)

 

(Original Title: Presídio de Mulheres Violentadas)  Let's see if this would belong on the VZ1 List of top 1970s WIP films. Also see the comprehensive list of all WIP films covered on VZ1.  A fan of Patrícia Scalvi, and this is her first film.

Secret School for Young Girls (1978)

 

(Original Title: Retourne-moi c'est meilleur AKA Internatsgeheimnisse junger Madchen) After a torturous trek to a private school, Marilyn Jess engages in sexual shenanigans with the other students.

Constat d'adultere(1992)

 

(AKA Rocco's Cravings) A small town is ravaged by an epidemic of adultery.  A law enforcement division calle the "Marriage Verification Brigade" is called into action at each "crime scene" of infidelity, only to find the guilt points toward the cuckold instead of the adulteress each time. 

The Thighs of Monique (1978)

 

(Original Title: Monique, mein heißer Schoß, AKA Les Cuisses de Monique) Judith Fritsch plays the titular character who bounces from one problematic sexual encounter to the next. 

The Love Object (1970)

 

Kim Pope is an aspiring actress who can't afford the price of following her dream of performing off Broadway. She's abducted by pornographers - which sounds terrible, but she ends up using to make her dreams come true.