Dec 3, 2022

Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans (1991)

 


We're skipping Deathstalker III because I refuse to watch that again; it was beyond awful. This one closes out the series

Deathstalker II (1987)

 


The sequel to the incredible Deathstalker movie, directed by Jim Wynorski

Deathstalker (1983)

 


What kid in the 1980s could turn away from this Boris Vallejo VHS cover art?  Following the Conan the Barbarian gravy train, Roger Corman and many others started churning out cheap Sword & Sandal flicks and lining the video store shelves.  This one had the added draw of starring Barbi Benton.

Barbarian Queen II: The Empress Strikes Back (1990)

 


I really liked the first Barbarian Queen, so it's about time we get to the sequel. Although it has been a few years since the Deathstalker heyday when the video stores shelves were flooded with Sword & Sandal flicks with Frazetta-like covers (ex. Warrior Queen)- so, we'll see if it still has the mojo.

Amazons (1986)

 


The Amazons are overtaken by Kalungo a dark necromancer.  Two of their ranks are sent on a quest to retrieve a magical sword to regain their kingdom.

The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984)

 


David Carradine stars in another Roger Corman Sword & Sandal flick filmed in Argentina. Planet Ura is running out of water.  In the town of Yamata two warlords battle over a single wellspring.  Kain the warrior steps in to save the people and the always-topless sorceress Naja.

Flying Sex (1980)

 

(Original Title: Sesso Profundo) A woman finds she can never experience sexual pleasure.  A psychiatrist figures out that this is due to childhood trauma of being molested with a model airplane (!) To conquer her hangup she gets a job as flight attendant - and let's just say the therapy works.

VZ1 List #2 - The A-Frame

 

The A-Frame is an image where you see a man or woman from the torso down from behind, with legs wide, and often a scene displayed through the open legs.  You might call it the For Your Eyes Only theme since that's probably its most recognizable use.  I'm not sure why it's used so repeatedly, but it does bring up some sociological thoughts.

The Toolbox Murders (1978)

 


Following a series of grisly murders in a Los Angeles apartment building, a girl is abducted and her brother and Will from Land of the Lost play Hardy Boys to catch the killer.

Nov 30, 2022

VZ1 List #1 - Kitchen Exposure

 


While the shower and the bedroom are the main stages for nude scenes, we've seen our share of kitchen sex and nudity as well. Perhaps not the most sanitary practice - and one hopes that they used industrial strength cleaners after some of these particularly messy engagements.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

 


The body of an unknown female is discovered at a grisly crime scene.  A coroner and his son perform the autopsy and discover this was no ordinary Jane Doe.  

Come with Me My Love (1976)

 


Doris Wishman film (or at least partially under her direction) about a cuckolded husband haunts the apartment where the adulterous incident took place.  A young woman who resembles the ghost's wife is tormented by the angry spirit.

Appointment in Black (1990)

 

(Original Title: Appuntamento in nero) An Italian giallo with the usual one-hundred suspects and a multitude of red herrings and conspiracies. A diplomat's wife is assaulted in a movie theater, which opens the door for a series of murder plots.  It's complicated.

Piranha Women (2022)

 


A Fred Olen Ray flick about women who undergo experimental cancer treatment using piranha DNA become flesh eating monsters. 

Love Button (1989)

 


Rob has discovered a revolutionary new invention, a T.V. remote that can change a persons realities just as well as channels.

Unholy Ground (2016)

 


Possibly the most satanic film I've ever seen.  Absolutely brimming with blasphemy, gore and graphic sex.  Günther Brandl delivers a deliriously evil film about a small Swedish town in the 1700s with a dark history that returns with the arrival of a band of soldiers.

Painful Desires (1978)

 


Princess Teresa has many suitors.  To select the right one, she gives them each an envelope with a challenge they must complete.

SX Tape (2013)

 


A found footage film about an artist and wannabe filmmaker who film inside an abandoned hospital.

Scandalous Sex (2004)

 


A softcore drama about a girl who seeks answers and revenge regarding her father's suicide and his mistreatment at a university. 

Grand Guignol Madness (2020)

 

A horror anthology from Italy that reminds us that you should never watch a movie based on its poster.

Nov 27, 2022

Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989)

 


Bruce Springsteen's sister continues her killing spree, adding significantly to her camper bodycount. 

Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988)

 


Starring Bruce Springsteen's sister and Charlie Sheen's sister, it's the sequel to the godawful Sleepaway Camp (1983). 

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

 

Amid the tidal wave of slasher films post-Halloween and Friday the 13th, this one stood out because of its infamous twist ending.  Otherwise, frankly nothing special.

Backdoor to Hollywood 8 (1989)

 


Lola is on the precipice of making it big, then her director-lover is called away.  A new director takes over and her career is torpedoed. Will she ever find stardom, or forever be stuck as a wardrobe assistant? 

Every Man's Fantasy (1985)

 


A Frenchman arrives in the US and immediately finds himself robbed and homeless.  A wealthy woman offers to help him, and all he has to do is deliver a package.  Unfortunately for Jean Paul, the package delivery leads to one unwelcome sexual encounter after another.

Losing Control (1985)

 


Eric Edwards holds a get together at his place, but it's hijacked by two armed robbers who hold the guests hostage. 

Nov 25, 2022

Bikini Beach Race (1992)

 


Dana Plato stars in this standard bikini movie - featuring a super-nerd who designs a bed for a bed race (yeah, that's right) which pisses off the mafia who gamble on the aforementioned bed race.

Bikini Goddesses (1996)

 


The son of a Greek hotel manager visits for the summer and inadvertently summons three banished deities. Filmed in Romania on the cheap hiring locals.  DeCoteau doesn't even remember any of the actress' names.

The Great Bikini Off-Road Adventure (1994)

 


As is customary for a certain brand of bikini movies like Bikini Carwash Company - a failing business must be saved, and money must be raised by women taking their tops off. This one is unique in that involves an ancient American Indian burial ground.

Bikini Sex Festival (2006)

 

Since we're doing bikini movies, this gives me the opportunity to throw in one of those 'girls gone wild' type videos.  I try to avoid these things on VZ1 because they're really not films, and reading a review of a bunch of anonymous drunk girls flashing their boobs isn't exactly the best.  But since we're pretty much cataloguing all manner of sexploitation here, it makes sense to at least have some representation of the genre.  

Murder in Miami (2014)

 


Yet another killer photographer movie.  This erotic thriller has models turning up dead (gee, never seen that before) and a photographer is the prime suspect.  Definitely takes a page from the Italian giallo (make that, many pages) with its black gloved killer and fashion-centric style.

Concealed Weapon (1994)

 


An actor travels to Eastern Europe and gets wrapped up in the intrigue involving an exiled director.  But don't be fooled - nothing in this film makes any sense, and it is put together so terribly that I wonder if this is actually a number of films hastily pasted together.

Erotic: Moonlight (2008)

 


(Original Title:Erótica: Luz de Luna) An anthology from Mexico consisting of three stories about the stages of life - 20, 30, and 40. Surprisingly graphic sex throughout, and very well produced.

Out of Control (2007)

 


(AKA Penny Flame's Out of Control) Penny Flame made a series of films which highlighted her comedic talent - and are a refreshing departure from the usual humorless bump and grind porno. Consisting of sketches and bits, these are actually pretty fun examples of sexplotition comedy. 

Blazed & Confused (2006)

 

Penny Flame travels California looking to score weed.  Filled with parody commercials and other odd little segments (and pornography). 

Nov 20, 2022

Return to Savage Beach (1998)

 


Sidaris' last film, and an end to the Triple B series which began with Malibu Express. We've covered them all on VZ1 - see the list at the bottom of this review.

Day of the Warrior (1996)

 


One of Sidaris' last films - featuring the usual gratuitous boobs, epic explosions. We've covered them all on VZ1 - see the list at the bottom of this review.

Hard Hunted (1993)

 


Another Sidaris flick - instead of a diamond heist, it's a nuclear trigger heist involving the usual gang of busty agents against the dastardly Kane.  [We've covered all of Sidaris' Triple B flicks on VZ1 - see the list at the bottom of this review.]

Do or Die (1991)

 


Sidaris takes on the Most Dangerous Game trope with Pat Morita as the bad guy. [We've covered all of Sidaris' Triple B flicks on VZ1 - see the list at the bottom of this review.]

Guns (1990)

 


Erik Estrada is a criminal weapons dealer that picked the wrong enemy when he messes with LETHAL agent Donna Hamilton. [We've covered all of Sidaris' Triple B flicks on VZ1 - see the list at the bottom of this review.]

Fit to Kill (1993)

 


Another Sidaris flick - this one about a diamond heist.  [We've covered all of Sidaris' Triple B flicks on VZ1 - see the list at the bottom of this review.]

Savage Beach (1989)

 


In this Sidaris flick, the busty special agents are stranded on an island; meanwhile, the US government, a criminal organization and the Japanese convene on the island to retrieve lost WWII treasure. [We've covered all of Sidaris' Triple B flicks on VZ1 - see the list at the bottom of this review.]

Nov 19, 2022

Exorcism at 60,000 Feet (2019)

 


A parody film combining elements of The Exorcist and seventies disaster movies, featuring some familiar faces such as Bill Moseley, Lance Henriksen and Adrienne Barbeau.

Zombie Women of Satan 2 (2016)

 

(AKA Female Zombie Riot) Sequel to Zombie Women of Satan (2009) which was surprisingly good. In this film, Pervo has fallen on hard times - despite his bestselling autobiography "Pervo the Clown: Show Me Your Tits".  Things get even worse when the daughter of Dr. Henry Zander's daughter wants revenge, as well as a group of badass hookers who demand payment.

Zombie Women of Satan (2009)

 


A group of sideshow performers and a pop star must combat a cult group which has turned into bloodthirsty zombies.

Murderlust (1985)

 


A rather grim portrayal of serial killer, performed possibly as well as can be done by Eli Rich.  The film isn't particularly sleazy and exploitative as you might expect - with just a few scenes that would need cutting to make it fit for late night TV - but what it lacks in sex & violence it makes up for in a chillingly realistic depiction of a murderous sociopath.

The Cheerleader Sleepover Slaughter (2022)

 

From Christopher Leto, the man behind Die Die Delta Pi (2013) [not to be confused with Delta Delta Die (2003)] which I hated, and Death Scort Service (2015) and Housewife Slasher (2012) which were not too shabby. 

Drifter (2014)

 


A frustrated real estate agent can't seem to sell "The Blood House" - mainly due to the fact that it keeps living up to its name.

Skeleton Key 3 Part 2 (2017)

 


The final installment of the Skeleton Key series.  Howard rejoins his motley crew of post-apocalyptic monster hunters as they fight to defeat Evil once and for all.

Killer Rack (2015)

 


A mild mannered office worker is bullied for her flat chest, so she gets a boob job. Unfortunately, the plastic surgeon worships H.P. Lovecraft's Elder Gods, and she now has a pair of talking, bloodthirty boobs. Technically belongs on the list with other movies featuring talking naughty parts: Chatterbox (1977), Sit on Mine and I Will Enter Yours (1985) and Angel Above Devil Below (1974), Pussy Talk (1975).