Confessions Of A Driving Instructor (1976)

 

You have to love those randy Confessions films. So far we've covered Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974) and Confessions from a Holiday Camp (1977). Not to be confused with the Adventures movies:Adventures of a Taxi Driver (1976), Adventures of a Private Eye (1977) and Adventures of a Plumber's Mate (1978). 

Major Rock (1999)

 

A group of "Playdoll of the Month" USO performers have their helicopter shot down by Nicaraguan rebels.  It's up to Major Rock and his elite commandos to save them.

Hot Nights at Dracula's Castle (1978)

 

A dirty Dracula movie starring the great Gina Janssen?  Count me in. (See what I did there?)

The Girls of Mr. X (1977)

 

(Original Title: Die Mädchen des Herrn S) A German film about a bunch of seventies ladies having sex with essentially no theme or connection between any of the stories. But since it features Gina Janssen and Britt Corvin, it's probably worth a look.

The Slaughterhouse Massacre (2005)

 

A paint-by-numbers slasher which takes place in.. well, as the title indicates, a slaughterhouse.

The Cheerleaders (1973)

 

The seventies produced some really good cheerleader movies.  Pro Ball Cheerleaders (1979) is amazing and Revenge of the Cheerleaders (1976) is one of my favorite movies of all time. And let's not forget Debbie Does Dallas (1978) which isn't even among the best. Let's see how one of the earliest examples stacks up.

Ecstasy - The Trial of the Satan Girls (1979)

 

(Original Title: Ekstase - Der Prozeß gegen die Satansmädchen) A group of satanic girls killed a couple guys and are on trial.  There's scenes of their satanic rituals and a ton of archived mondo footage.

Pussy Talk (1975)

 

What was with all the talking vagina movies in the seventies? We've covered of Chatterbox (1977), Sit on Mine and I Will Enter Yours (1985) and Angel Above Devil Below (1974), but there are many more.

Mummy's Kiss: 2nd Dynasty (2006)

 

The sequel to The Mummy's Kiss (2003) by Donald F. Glut.  Glut was a successful writer for cartoons (Go-Bots, Transformers, Spider-Man) for decades. He even penned some episodes of seventies favorites such as Land of the Lost, The New Shmoo, Shazam! and Dynomutt. Glut also wrote the Empire Strikes Back novelization, a ton of comic books (including Vampirella) - and in the 2000s he started writing/directing erotic horror films which captured the Famous Monsters of Filmland he'd been a fan of forever.  Glut's other horror erotica: Erotic Rites of Countess Dracula (2001), Countess Dracula's Orgy of Blood (2004), and Blood Scarab (2008), 

Teach Me Tonight (1997)

 

A typical nineties erotic thriller - almost as textbook as it gets: noir stylization, everything's too damn dark to see, tons of red herrings, etc. Featuring Kim Yates - and starring Judy Thompson, who wasn't in many of these types of films (in fact this may be her only one), but is gorgeous and plays the part well.

The Devil Wears Nada (2009)

 

Jim Wynorski takes on the Devil Wears Prada; featuring Brandin Rackley, Beverly Lynne and Christine Nguyen.

Worksex (1979)

 

There were a number of pornos about making pornos. Examples include Great Sexpectations (1984), The Sexualist (1973) , Deep Jaws (1976), Matinee Idol (1984), and the list goes on.  There were also plenty of softcore films like  Blue Money (1972) and The Amateur Pornographers (1982). It makes sense- it's a theme that by definition provides easy opportunity for sex and nudity. This German flick is about the production of a porno with an unprecedented budget. Now if they could only get the cast and crew to focus for five minutes without having sex.

The Sex Agent (1978)

 

A German film about an agent who sleeps with CIA wives in order to gain information. 

A Máfia Sexual (1986)

 

Sady Baby made some of the trashiest films to come out of Brazil, full of all manner of sleaze and violence.  We've covered a couple of his films:  Girls, Virgins and P (1983) and The Girl of Diabolical Sex (1987). 

Lehrjahre eines Teenagers (1981)

 

I decided to check this one out because, despite the lurid and problematic title, it appeared to be a Schulmädchen-Report Film - those faux documentaries comprised of vignettes of supposedly true tales of sexual encounters.  This one relates to teenagers (and trust me, none of these ladies are teens) who work as apprentices and are taught "lessons" by their adult mentors. No idea who any of the actors or actresses are in this film; however Sylvia Engelmann was supposedly one of them. 

High Test Girls (1980)

 

(Original Title: Sechs Schwedinnen von der Tankstelle) An Erwin C. Dietrich film about six Swedish girls who poses a threat to morality of a small town. This is the sequel to Six Swedish Girls in a Boarding School (1979). 

Three Swedes on the Reeperbahn (1980)

 

The last of the Swedes Trilogy which started with Three Swedes in Upper Bavaria (1977) and Hooray the Swedes are Here (1978). Not to be confused with the Six Swedes movies: Six Swedish Girls in a Boarding School (1979) and Six Swedes in the Alps (1983) - and we can't forget the Six Swedes from the Gas Station - AKA High Test Girls (1980). 

Two Danes in Lederhosen (1979)

 

(Original Title: Zwei Däninnen in Lederhosen) Another Bavarian sex comedy, this one featuring the great Sylvia Engelmann. 

Hooray - The Swedes Are Here (1978)

 

(Original Title; Hurra - Die Schwedinnen sind da) Your standard Bavarian sex comedy revolving around an idyllic inn whose owner hires a group of hot Swedes to attract more guests.

Lifeguard Report (1973)

 

(Original Title: Bademeister-Report) Another Schulmädchen-Report Film - it seems we'll never reach the end of these (and I hope we never do).

Paprika (1991)

 

Tinto Brass delivers an epic tale based on Fanny Hill, featuring the busty Debora Caprioglio.

Illicit Sensations (2000)

 

An erotic thriller as generic as its title.  A woman suspects her architect husband is cheating on her.  And she's quite right.  She hires a private investigator, and then feels like she's being stalked.  Who is her stalker? Could it be the more-than-slightly psycho secretary?  Watch and see.

Laura's Desires (1977)

 

(Original Title: Laura's Gelüste) The sexual adventures of "Laura, business woman, attractive, successful in every way..." 

Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade (2005)

 

A Jim Wynorski film; a carbon copy of Busty Cops (2004) with much of the same cast. 

Sex Channel (1980)

 

(Original Title: Der Sexkanal) A married couple watches a show called "Non-Stop Sex" on the "Sex Channel".  And so we join the couple as they watch a number of five minute vignettes.

Greed Under the Palms (1980)

 

(Original Titles: Gier unter Palmen, Heißes Pflaster Ibiza, Kesse Kurven und Kanaillen) A spy porno featuring the great Gina Janssen.

A Baroness and Her Servant (1977)

(Original Title: Jill, ein feuchtfröhliches Mädchen) The sexual adventures of a girl named Jill.  Featuring the great Gina Janssen in a small role.

Babes in Kong Land (2002)

 

Nonsensical shitshow that doesn't even get to the Kong Land bit until the movie is halfway over.  Up until then, you just have a couple doofuses watching two lesbians on a monitor.  Let's have a look.

The Sidewalks of Bangkok (1984)

 

(Original Title: Les trottoirs de Bangkok) Interested to see a Jean Rollin film which wasn't a surreal supernatural erotica.

The Diary 4 (2000)

 

The final installment of the The Diary [Follows The Diary (1999), The Diary 2 (1999) and The Diary 3 (2000)] - a series that's been extremely impressive - an amazing anomaly.  They are fairly big productions with lavish sets and costumes and quality acting... yet containing extremely sleazy (yet tasteful and softcore) material.  

The Diary 3 (200-)

 

Follows The Diary (1999) and The Diary 2 (1999) - a European period piece which is way too extravagant than a sleazy film like this has a right to be.  This one marks a bit of a departure from the first two.  Although there are overlapping characters, the story doesn't center on Anna and it loses the British 1930s vibe in favor of a movie production set in Rome.

The Diary 2 (1999)

 

VZ1 is staying classy with a European period piece - the sequel to The Diary (1999).  

The Diary (1999)

 

VZ1 gets classy with this European period piece featuring the strikingly beautiful Lila Baumann. 

Supervixens (1975)

 

Russ Meyer said of this film: "I'm back to big bosoms, square jaws, lotsa action and the most sensational sex you ever saw. I'm back to what I do best - erotic, comedic sex, sex, sex - and I'll never stray again."

Inn of the Sinful Daughters (1978)

 

(Original Title:Das Wirtshaus der sündigen Töchter) Huge fan of Gina Janssen, so I'm not sure how we've gone this long without watching this Bavarian sex comedy where she plays twins.

Sexy Secrets of the Kiss-o-gram Girls (1986)

 

Along the same lines as Sexy Secrets of the Sex Therapist (1986) - just a bunch of big breasted British gals jiggling to and fro. Filmed in "staid old Exmouth". 

Perfectly Legal (2002)

 

 

Your standard erotic courtroom drama for late night cable.  This one does seem to kick it up a few notches in terms of explicit content. 

Pleasures of a Woman (2002)

 

There were several Nick Millard remakes around this time with the same troupe of actresses.  For example, Roxanna (2002) - a remake of Roxanna (1970). I respect the respect, if that makes sense.  Millard's films were influential and highly stylized - doing a lot with nearly zero budget.  If you're going to remake long lost erotica, may as well choose the cheapest templates imaginable - often just one set with three or less characters with little to no story or dialog. 

Animals (1999)

 

Pay no mind to this lame movie art which was created much later - it has nothing whatsoever to do with this film. It's about a family on a vacation in the woods who become victims of a gang called the "Animals". 

Miniskirt Special Investigation Team L.E.G.S. (1998)

 

(Original Title: ミニスカ特捜隊L.E.G.S.) The girls of Ladies Executioners General Security (L.E.G.S.) battle the Shine Shine Gals.

Hanger (2009)

 

So, we're trying to cover more recent exploitation films this year (and while 2009 is over a decade away, it counts as recent in our book) - and you so can't really get away from Ryan Nicholson flicks - considered the sickest of the sick. This film is a hash of Street Trash (1987), Troma, and those crazy-ass Polish sicko Fantom Kiler (1998) films. 

Justine: A Midsummer Night's Dream (1997)

 

We're jumping to the seventh and last Justine episode because the sixth installment of the series, Justine: Seduction of Innocence (1996) which follows Justine: In the Heat of Passion is really just a clip show of previous episodes.

Justine: In the Heat of Passion (1996)

 

Fifth installment in the Justine series, following Justine: Wild Nights. 

Justine: Wild Nights (1995)

 

The fourth installment of the Justine series, following Justine: Crazy Love. 

Justine: Crazy Love (1995)

 

Third in the series, following Justine: Erotic Liasons. This one sticks to a singular story - the pursuit for a Russian treasure leads Justine and Robson into conflict with a trio of ex-Soviets.

Justine: Exotic Liaisons (1995)

 

Second in the series; follows Justine: A Private Affair.  The titular character gets into more adventures purely in her head.

Justine: A Private Affair (1995)

 

The first of the Daneen Boone Justine movies of the nineties. Very much like the Emmanuelle films featuring a bunch of exotic locales and flights of sexual fantasy. 

Dracula in a Women's Prison (2017)

 

We've reviewed Jeff Leroy's Werewolf in a Women's Prison (2006) and Frankenstein in a Women's Prison (2017), so we may as well finish the trilogy. 

Werewolf in a Womens Prison (2006)

 

We covered Frankenstein in a Women's Prison (2017). and I really liked it.  So, let's give this one a go.

The Thirsting (2007)

 

A satansploitation film about five catholic schoolgirls on a retreat who summon the demon Lilith.