Your Tour Guide Through Cinema Trash (and Treasures)

Apr 30, 2022

Bikini Royale 2 (2010)

 


Sequel to the 2008 film; starring Beverly Lynne and written/directed by Fred Olen Rayl

Apr 29, 2022

Run Like Hell (1995)

 

Robert Z'Dar is the warden of a post-apocalyptic women's prison. The the new government "has declared single women a threat to society - a bounty is placed on all unattached women." So, a group of inmates escape and journey to "Paradise City" where the grass is green and the girls.... well, you know the rest.

Guns of El Chupacabra (1997)

 

Oh, hell yeah.  I am so ready for another Donald G. Jackson flick.  Starting with Roller Blade (1986) and then on to a ton of flicks like Big Sister 2000 (1995) (and the Frogtown series) which all have a very unique and - perhaps the word "eccentric" is the right word - vibe to them.  This one is Jackson required viewing - not only does it feature both Robert Z'Dar and Julie Strain - but it's his take on the Chupacabra cryptid. Both Jackson and Shaw (Jackson's frequent collaborator- and Hawk from the Roller Blade films) not only believe in the mythical creature -they claim to have seen it.  Even better- they claim to have helped victims of a car accident in Mexico which they believe was caused by a Chupacabra! 

Return of the Roller Blade Seven (1993)

So, evidently there were a number of films which followed Roller Blade (1986).  I've enjoyed Donald G. Jackson self-styled "Zen filmmaking" approach and the fact that this guy has a vision he sticks to.  They all have the same look and you can tell it's his film by a single frame.  Big Sister 2000 (1995) was a sleaze classic; so I think his filmography warrants another look. 

Queen of Lost Island (1994)

 


I've been a Donald G. Jackson kick lately. I really like  Roller Blade (1986) and Big Sister 2000 (1995), so wanted to check out more of his filmography. This Jackson flick features the mighty chin himself Robert Z'Dar as well as Julie Strain in her prime.  The story involves a remote jungle island where there are random vials of liquid which make the imbiber turn feral, get naked and want to have sex.

The Sex Spirit (2009)

 


Beverly Lynne runs a bed and breakfast which is haunted by a "sex spirit".  

Apr 24, 2022

Cards of Death (1986)

 

The sole feature-length directorial effort Will MacMillan, who starred in George Romero’s The Crazies and appeared opposite Clint Eastwood in The Enforcer before embarking on a long, fruitful career in studio films and TV.  The film was basically lost, with only a handful of copies out there.  Finally in 2015, a good citizen uploaded a rip of the film.  The plot is a pretty cool idea: A cult-like group in LA, led by a mysterious man known as Hog, that holds gatherings to gamble with their lives. The group meet up and are handed a random card from a Tarot deck, and a poker-like game would begin. The one holding the Death card at the end would be killed, with victims dying in a variety of graphic and sadistic ways. The person with the winning hand would win money, but would also have to kill the loser within 24 hours, or else both of them would be killed. 

Vicious and Nude (1980)

 

(Original title: Viciosas al desnudo) Jack Taylor lets two sexy hippies, Adriana Vega and Eva Lyberten, into his home.  Big mistake.

Aimilia the Psychopath (1974)

 

A Greek film about a hapless criminal whose story becomes linked to a woman who's a conservative music teacher by day, and murderous hooker by night.

The Nude Models (1983)

 


It's been altogether too long since we've done a good old fashioned Mexican sex comedy.  Seeing the usual troupe (Rafael InclánHilda AguirreAlfonso ZayasSasha Montenegro) is like seeing old friends.

Big Sister 2000 (1995)

 


A very weird WIP film set in a dystopian future, which feels a lot like Roller Blade (1986) - as it's by the same director - Donald G. Jackson.  

The Exotic Time Machine II: Forbidden Encounters (2000)

 


Sequel to the 1998 film, this time the travelers go to Arthurian times and the 1960s. 

The Exotic Time Machine (1998)

 


A guy is sucked back in time and changes the course of history, resulting in a fascist dictatorship in the US.  They must correct the butterfly effect, and along the way have lots of sex.

The Sisters Four (2008)

 


A low budget horror-thriller from Dallas about a woman haunted by memories of her childhood at an orphanage, while a serial killer stalks her city.

Shoot the Girls (2000)

 

Tina Krause and Misty Mundae star in a film which is equal parts erotic thriller and fetish film... well, maybe not equal parts. Pretty much just a misogynistic fetish film with a thin Mundae/Krause wraparound "story".

Apr 22, 2022

Night Ripper! (1986)

 

A low budget SOV flick where I can't identify a single actress or actor; no idea who's playing any of the roles in this film.... that is except Larry Thomas - the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld.  This freaked me out more than a little bit when I saw him in this.

The Seven Vampires (1986)

 

(Original Title: As Sete Vampiras) A Brazilian horror-comedy in the vein of Little Shop of Horrors

Night of the Dead (2012)

 


A mad scientist tests his resurrection serum on sorority sisters.  A pretty good zombie flick, but woefully lacking nudity.

Maui Heat (1996)

 


Featuring some fairly big names of softcore at the time - Kim Yates, Kim Sill, Kira Reed, and Cory Lane.  Really just a bunch of sex scenes and views of the tropical paradise.  No plot required.

Emmanuelle in Hong Kong (2003)

 

(Original title: Heung Gong ngaai maan nau ji sau sing pui yuk) A doctor sends his sexually repressed wife to a decadent society which turns frigid wives in to "Emmanuelles".  

Apr 16, 2022

Emmanuelle in Rio (2003)

 


Like James Bond, the actor playing the titular character can change.  We've seen Sylvia Krystal, Laura Gemser, Krista Allen, Natasja Vermeer, and others in the role - and now Ludmilla Ferraz. The hallmark in the Emmanuelle movies isn't just sex - it's exotic locales. This time Emmanuelle goes to Brazil.

Emmanuelle's Forbidden Pleasures (2011)

 

The last of the Emmanuelle Through Time series.  (There were so many Emmanuelle movies over the last few decades;  see the VZ1 list to get them straight.)  

Emmanuelle's Sexy Bite (2011)

 


Follows Emmanuelle's Skin City (2011) in the Emmanuelle Through Time series. Our man Rolfe Kanefsky writes and directs; this one involves vampires.

Emmanuelle Private Collection: Sexual Spells (2003)

 


Here we go again with another Emmanuelle Private Collection flick.  That means plenty of nudity (obviously) and odd inserts from Romania. 

Emmanuelle Private Collection: Sex Talk (2003)

 


In this episode of the Emmanuelle Private Collection, we meet a talk show host who considers hooking up with a secret admirer.  And Valerie Baber wants to have sex with women, even though she's in a relationship with a guy. Oh, and emmanuelle thinks she's seeing fairies and nymphs. WTF?

Apr 15, 2022

Emanuelle and Lolita (1978)

 


This entry into the pantheon of Emmanuelle movies takes place in Sri Lanka and stars the great Nieves Navarro, who was framkly too good of an actress for these types of films.  

Emmanuelle: Concealed Fantasy (1994)

 


Fourth in the Emmanuelle in Space series (These Emmanuelle movies can get confusing; I recommend checking out the list to get this straight).

Emmanuelle: A Lesson in Love (1994)

 

Third in the Emmanuelle in Space series where Emmanuelle teaches aliens about sex in each episode.

Emmanuelle: A World of Desire (1994)

 

Second in the Emmanuelle in Space series; this one's a little less coherent and not as well-written as before. But, it has Krista Allen and an untold number of other naked ladies - so why dwell on the negative? 

Emmanuelle: First Contact (1994)

 


(AKA Emmanuelle: Queen of the Galaxy) The first of the Emmanuelle in Space series starring Krista Allen.  (These Emmanuelle movies can get confusing; I recommend checking out the list to get this straight).

Apr 10, 2022

Emmanuelle's Sensual Pleasures (2000)

 

Well, this is the last of the Holly Sampson Emmanuelle 2000 series; we've covered them all at this point. [See the full list of all Emmanuelle films to help make sense of the confusing multitude of Emmanuelle movies] This one is special as it's directed by Fred Olen Ray. I've actually enjoyed this series and a bit sad to see it end.  They weren't amazing, but a lot of fun, and it would've been interesting to see where it would go.

Emmanuelle in Paradise (2000)

 


Another entry in the Holly Sampson Emmanuelle 2000 series.  This one features Gabriella Hall and follows the pattern of Jewel of Emmanuelle in that it consists of three parts.  (These Emmanuelle movies can get confusing; I recommend checking out the list to get this straight).

Jewel of Emmanuelle (2000)

 

Beginning with Emmanuelle 7 (1993), we find this virtual reality device; which is then picked up by the Emmanuelle 2000 series. [Emmanuelle. movies can get confusing; see the list to keep them straight.] In this episode, our titular character falls from one "side adventure" to another; from jewelry theft to blackmail to kidnapping.  Emmanuelle is there to save the day.

Emmanuelle and the Art of Love (2000)

 


Another entry in the Holly Sampson Emmanuelle 2000 series - which has the overall plot device of a heart-shaped pendant which acts as a virtual reality device (which is actually taken from Emmanuelle 7). This one centers around an art gallery heist. [All these Emmanuelle movies can get confusing.  Check out the VZ1 list to help clear things up.]

Being Emmanuelle (2000)

 


Another entry Holly Sampson Emmanuelle 2000 series. [see the list of Emmanuelle movies] The story involves a telepathic Hannibal Lecter character who makes women tremble with pleasure using his mind powers.

Emmanuelle 7 (1993)

 


Well, Emmanuelle 5 (1987) was dreadful and Emmanuelle 6 (1988) just about as hopeless. It seems it's time to put this series to bed (pun intended).  This marks the last in the series which started in 1974 and Sylvia Krystal returns to put a bow on it. (Krystal notably didn't want to return, but financing her husband's films had bankrupted her.) 

Emmanuelle 6 (1988)

 

Emmanuelle 5 (1987) was quite possibly the worst Emmanuelle movie ever released.  So it is with trepidation that I click "play" on part six. Thankfully, Borowczyk had nothing to do with this one. Instead, we have none other than Jean Rollin penning the screenplay - so perhaps there's hope for this series yet and it hasn't jumped the shark. [To get oriented with all these Emmanuelle movies, I recommend checking out the VZ1 list

Apr 5, 2022

Beach Babes from Beyond (1993)

 

An interesting bikini movie for the number of celebrity relatives in the cast: Stallone’s mother, Martin Sheen’s brother, Patrick Swayze’s brother, John Travolta’s brother and Robin to Adam West’s Batman, Burt Ward. Also featuring legends Linnea Quigley and Tamara Landry

The Housewife Slasher (2012)

 


A Tampa, FL film about a typical gated community hit with a serial killer focusing on the housewives of the neighborhood.

Safety First: The Rise of Women! (2008)

 

This was just insane: it's a safety training film for workers in high-rise office buildings, but acted out by sexy jiggling ladies; a workplace safety film as if made by Russ Meyer.  

Vice Girls (1997)

 


Featuring the late great Lana Clarkson (Phil Spector was a piece of shit), three sexy cops have to go undercover to catch a ruthless pornographer who is murdering young runaway girls

Word of Mouth (1999)

 


A couple make a documentary about a prostitute, but she ends up getting inside the filmmaker's head.

The Erotic Rites of Countess Dracula (2001)

 

I kept thinking through this whole movie that I'd already seen it, already reviewed it on VZ1.  Then realized that I kinda had. Countess Dracula's Orgy of Blood (2004) and Blood Scarab (2008) use the same sets, share some of the same cast (namely Del Howison as Renfield), and feel very much like the same film.  Not sure how it came to be that Don Glut made these similar films spaced years apart, but there it is.

Kinky Pleasures (2006)

 

Beverly Lynne plays two roles- of the naughty and nice twins who swap lives.  What will happen when the nice twin takes on the stripper lifestyle, and the naughty twin when she takes on the life of a school teacher? If this sounds cliche, it's because it absolutely is.  But it's also jam packed with gobs of sex and nudity.

Sexual Magic (2001)

 


Amber Newman leads a coven of witches who really do nothing of interest other than have constant sex. Newman tries to steal another girl's boyfriend... but that's not a witch-specific thing.

She-Demons of the Black Sun (2006)

 


A girl is raped and seeks revenge by summoning the devil.  

Al Pereira vs. the Alligator Ladies (2012)

 


Notable as the last completed film of Jesús Franco before he passed away. None of it makes any sense, and there are several scenes where Franco is visible and giving direction to the actors.

Losing Control (1998)

 

Your standard undemanding erotic thriller.  This one features Kira Reed as a writer who takes a trip on the wild side for inspiration - which ends up being a costly mistake.

Apr 1, 2022

Boardinghouse (1982)

 


I remember seeing this VHS box a lot on video store shelves. Who knew it was such a quirky oddball movie? Written, directed and starring eccentric weirdo John Wintergate, the film is the level of bad that would make an audience howl with laughter.  Maybe this just flew under my radar and it's actually a well-known cult favorite, and I'm just late to the party. Whatever the case - my god this was a hilarious hot mess, with several eighties hotties providing nudity of the most gratuitous variety. It's a haunted house story, but also somewhat of a slasher, but also a silly sex comedy.... suffice it to say, it's hard to classify.