Your Tour Guide Through Cinema Trash (and Treasures)

Oct 30, 2021

Predators Of The Savannah (1978)

 


(AKA I Predatori Della Savana, Savana - Sesso e diamanti) This film is primarily known for featuring Maria Conchita Alonso in some pretty graphic scenes.  Look up any information on it, and all you get is slobbering comments on Alonso.  But in '78 it was just another gritty, sleazy film to play at the drive-in or seedy cinemas.

Forbidden World (1982)

 


An Alien clone from Roger Corman and written by Jim Wynorski - with sets (leftover from Galaxy of Terror) by James Cameron. 

Sweet Young Foxes (1983)

 


Hyapatia Lee stars in this low key adult film about a day in the life of three girls.  

Oct 29, 2021

Lover's Leap (1995)

 


A typical nineties steamy romance about a father and son both falling in love with the same girl - played by the insanely hot Carrie Westcott.

Boiling Spirit (1981)

 

(Original Title: Bollenti spiriti) An Italian comedy featuring Gloria Guida and a ghost that whose spirit won't rest until he gets laid.

Hollywood Babylon (1972)

 


I've been curious about this film for a long time because it stars basically every sexploitation starlet from the early seventies (Sandy Carey, Uschi Digard, Lynn Harris, Wendy Winders, Annette Michael, Jane Tsentas, Suzanne Fields, the list goes on).  However, Hollywood Babylon has never been of interest to me, although it was a huge bestseller back in the day.  I mean, who cares if Mary Pickford had an affair? Whatever.  It's inevitable that I'll watch this, so might as well get it over with.

Oct 28, 2021

Disintegration (2015)

 


This was actually a nine hour movie.  Okay, not actually, but time is relative and felt like nine hours.  There is no dialog, just a woman traumatized by rape wandering around naked, sometimes clothed, sometimes humping her attackers rotting corpse.  Good times.

Space Babes from Outer Space (2017)

 


In the grand tradition of Flesh Gordon (1974) this film takes an over-the-top camp approach to sexy sci-fi.

Teach Me (1972)

 

(Original Title: Auch Fummeln will gelernt sein) The last part of the "Mutzenbacher-Trilogy".  A soldier who has become asexual due to childhood issues, now is obliged to marry a baroness who has great expectations of his sexual prowess.

Oct 27, 2021

Fongaluli (1973)

 


Easily one of the strangest sexploitation films ever made.  A scientist's lobster is transformed into a naked girl by the Fongaluli leaf.  He travels to an island to retrieve more leaves, and encounters a nude giant, a nude witch and other strange islanders along his quest.

Stories of Life and the Underworld (1975)

 


(Original Title:Storie Di Vita E Malavita AKA The Teenage Prostitution Racket) A Spanish film about teenage prostitution. Mino Giarda actually did extensive research into actual events, and purposefully cast unknown actresses to heighten the realism - indeed, this film is cited as an early example of Spanish realist cinema. Although I might just categorize it as a Schulmädchen-Report film. With music by Ennio Morricone!

Serial Kaller (2014)

 


A British film about women at a webcam studio being terrorized by a psycho killer.  Sounds like your run-of-the-mill slasher, but was a bit different than expected.

Secret Rites (1971)

 


A documentary from Derek Ford about black magic featuring renowned occultist Alexander Sanders.

Dangerous People (2015)

 


A film about three serial killers in the seventies which tries very hard (and fails) to be like a Tarantino film.  It also tries very hard (and succeeds) to be extremely offensive and sleazy. 

Safeword (2011)

 


A confusing film about a girl who was drugged and assaulted, now has an unhealthy sex life.  A doctor administers a therapy that is on the extreme side.

Oct 21, 2021

Amazon Hot Box (2018)

 

The WIP film continues in this modern example of the genre.  You know the deal: innocent girl put in prison, abused by queen bitch and sadistic warden, yada yada yada.

Cover Girl Models (1975)

 

Three models become involved in an espionage war between the Red Army and the CIA.  

Plank Face (2016)

 

It's the origin story no one asked for.  Imagine Batman Begins crossed with The Devil's Rejects and Clan of the Cave Bear.  You'll see what I mean.

Oct 20, 2021

Hot T-Shirts (1980)

 


From Chuck Vincent comes the overdone story of saving a failing business by having the female staff dress sexy. The Bikini Carwash Company (1992) didn't do it first, but it serves as the textbook template for the trope. This one has an extra dimension - the disco dimension, with tons of bad disco tracks and a Thank God It's Friday vibe.

Mind, Body & Soul (1992)

 


Ginger Lynn is taken on a date to a satanic human sacrifice.  The ritual is interrupted and now the cult members have it in for Ginger.

The Dead Want Women (2012)

 


A Full Moon flick about a silent film star and her male actor friends who take part in decadent sex acts in her dungeon. Years later, the 1920s actors still haunt the Hollywood mansion.

Tiffany (1985)

 


A Greek film about... well, not about much, other than naked ladies on a beach.  There's a random satanic sex cult thrown in for good measure, but otherwise - yeah, just naked girls on beaches.

Miss Adventures of Megaboob Manor (1987)

 

The Chamber of Trade awards five businessmen with a weekend in Scotland at Megaboob Manor.  They men are certainly happy, but the wives (once they learn of their destination) are none too thrilled.

The Doctor.. The Student (1976)

 


Another Gloria Guida sex comedy, so you know what to expect: Guida showing off her body while men act like Tex Avery wolves.

Oct 19, 2021

The Lumberjack (1973)

 

Okay, we've reached the end of the Don Trendall films. Swinging Sorority was really good and Swinging Ski Girls was damn near a masterpiece.  Let's close out his woefully small directorial filmography with Trendall's first film. As with his other films, it features much of the same cast.  (Also note that Happy You Could Join Us also has the same cast, but not clear if that's really a Trendall flick.)

Happy You Could Join Us (1975)

 

While nearly all these same actresses appeared in Swinging Sorority and Swinging Ski Girls - both Don Trendall films - I'm not so sure this is actually a Trendall jam. It is odd that these girls, who weren't in much else, would be together again in this film and not be connected to the same director, but it just doesn't have the Trendall magic, being more of your standard bump and grind porno.

Swinging Sorority (1975)

 

Since Swinging Ski Girls was so incredible, we're checking out the works of Don Trendall, of which sadly there are only a few.  This film contains basically the same cast and has the same vibe - just watching seventies youth go about their days; there's no plot, but a really good feel for the times.

Swinging Ski Girls (1975)

 


This is just fascinating to me. Don Trendall only directs three movies - this, Swinging Sorority Girls and The Lumberjack then vanishes.  The movies are just slices of life in the mid-seventies with the same cast. This is not technically a porno as there's no insertion, but it gets incredibly close. There is an artfulness and naturalness on display here that is hard to describe. When you've seen enough talentless zero-budget skin flicks, you begin to appreciate the ones (few and far between) which demonstrate a skillfulness and style.  Simply put, this is a brilliant piece of cinema sleaze.

C.B. Hustlers (1976)

 


I was a kid during the CB craze of the mid-seventies, and can attest that that it was every bit as insane as you can imagine.  We had CB themed movies, LPs, lunchboxes, coloring books, TV episodes, and a whole lingo that you had to be familiar with to be cool.  There was a lust for lowbrow in the seventies, and perhaps nothing epitomized it more than the CB.  So, it was only natural for an exploitation movie to capitalize on the fad.

Body of Influence 2 (1996)

 


Sequel to the 1993 Shannon Whirry film Body of Influence. All the usual erotic thriller tropes are here: the dangerous dame, private detective, simulated sex scenes to bad music, etc. 

Becky and Candy's Spring Break Adventure 95 (1995)

 

A super cheap flick that I believe was originally a Pay Per View, then released on VHS.  Two girls go to Daytona Beach for Spring Break.  They frolic in their hotel room then hit the wet t-shirt contests.

Betty Danger: Vice Cop (2020)

 


Charles Band pulled a fast-one on us with this film.  It has a fun title, but it's really just a cut-and-paste from several films, with all the good parts edited out. 

Let's Make a Dirty Movie (1976)

 

(Original Title: Attention les yeux!) A French film about a director who wants to make a classy film based on a literary work... but in order to afford that endeavor, he must make a low budget porno.

Oct 17, 2021

Ballet of Blood (2015)

 

From Jared Masters who gave us the sleazy-as-hell Slink (2013) and the lame-as-hell Deadly Punkettes (2014); a bullied girl enacts revenge on her ballet class.

Sexual Roulette (1997)

 

An erotic thriller with Indecent Proposal influences starring two of the biggest names in nineties late night cable erotica: Tane McClure and Gabriella Hall.

Videoverse (2021)

 


A Charles Band Full Moon Pictures joint also released as "Cassex: The Temptation of Doreen Dukes". A couple finds old VHS tapes which take them into the 1980s, into the Cassex dimension.

Oct 16, 2021

The Frenchman's Garden (1978)

 

Based on the true crime story known as ¨The Frenchman's Garden Murders¨ which consisted of 6 murders perpetrated in the town of Peñaflor, a Province of Seville in the early 1900s.

The Ambitious Lover (1982)

 

(Original Title: I Eromeni) A Greek melodrama about a love triangle between a pop star, sculptor and creep.

Canvas of Blood (1997)

 


A violinist loses function of her hand.  When the court system betrays her, the violinist's father takes justice into his own hands.

Private Vices, Public Virtues (1976)

 

(Original Title: Vices prives, vertus publiques) Based on the "Mayerling affair," where the Austro-Hungarian Crown Prince Rudolph and his mistress, the Baroness Maria Vetsera, committed suicide at the family hunting lodge, Mayerling, because they were not allowed to marry. Although it is also thought that the lovers were assassinated by his father, Emperor Franz Josef.  If this sounds like a dry historical piece, don't be fooled.  It's really just an excuse to film a long orgy.

Oct 14, 2021

Bikini Hotel (1997)

 

Which movie genre had a set of rules and tropes which filmmakers followed the most diligently?   Most people would say the slasher film; more knowledgeable exploitation fans would say the WIP film or the 90s Erotic Thriller.  But I'd say the Bikini Movie.  It's absolutely startling how many of these there were in the 90s that I didn't know about, and how cookie-cutter they were. 

Le Seminariste (1976)

 

An extremely horny Italian sex comedy.  A bunch of badly behaving youths are sent to seminary school to get back on the path of righteousness.  Randiness and sexual tomfoolery ensue.

Secuestro (1976)

 


There were a number of films inspired by the Patty Hearst story; we've covered Tanya (1976), and here is the Paul Naschy submission.  

The Will of Ebenezer Grimsdyke (1989)

 

A British straight-to-video production about the distribution of an inheritance to various couples who've been spied upon being naughty.

A Very Special Hostess (1979)

 

(Original Title: Une hôtesse très spéciale) An extremely strong-willed and horny French girl turns the tables on rapists and enjoys the accoutrements of a porn studio.

La Portiera Nuda (1976)

 

(Translation: The Naked Doorwoman) A girl comes to Rome and works as a lowly doorwoman for an apartment building.  The motley group of eccentric tennants spend the entirety of the film sexually assaulting her.

Oct 8, 2021

The Keyhole (1974)

 

(Original Title: Nøglehullet) A guy is given the assignment to make a believable porno.  So, he researches some real-life sexual shenanigans only to have the producers reject his script for being too outlandish.

Freedom to Love (1969)

 


(Original Title: Freiheit für die Liebe) A sex documentary which pretends to take a scientific approach to analyzing the sexual revolution.

The Cult (1971)

 


One of the many Manson murder films; there easily could be a whole genre of Mansonsploitation.  This one was considered lost until a German copy turned up not so long ago.  Supposedly Quentin Tarantino owns a 35mm print of the English version - so, not sure why he isn't sharing. 

Percy (1971)

 

Featuring a soundtrack by the Kinks (with an instrumental "Lola" played throughout), the film is about a victim of an accident who gets his penis replaced.  The mysterious donor turns out to be doinking women all over town under various pseudonyms.   While Edwin tries to find the story behind his penis donor, his conniving ex-wife tries to get celebrity status by reuniting with him on TV.