Nov 28, 2017

Good Little Girls (1971)

Sophie's misfortunes (French: Les Malheurs de Sophie) is a 1858 novel written by Countess of Ségur. This is the first book of a trilogy, along with The Good Little Girls (1858) and The Holidays (1859).  There have been several adaptations, including 3 Sophie's Misfortunes films (1946, 1979, 2016).  They're children's books, once used to teach British girls to read French.

But this is a risque version of the classic, where the girls have all grown up.  Let's have a look...

Nov 27, 2017

Wilbur and the Baby Factory (1970)

A film about avoiding the draft by making two thousand "perfect" babies. This US comedy wants real bad to be a British sexploitation flick; let's see if it succeeds..

Norma (1970)

From the golden days of drive-in sleaze and adult movie houses, comes this forgotten flick featuring all the "taboos": lesbianism, sadomasochism, nymphomania, cross dressing, orgies... yet, somehow manages to ineptly stay safe and boring enough to be considered tame by today's standards. Let's press play...

Legacy of Satan (1974)

The director of Deep Throat, Gerard Damiano, tries his hand at the satansploitation genre.  Let's see how it goes...

Nov 26, 2017

The Body Beneath (1970)

Director Andy Milligan (The Ghastly Ones, Guru the Mad Monk, The Naked Witch) delivers a tale about a vampire family.  Let's have a look...

With These Hands... (1972)

This British sexed up soap opera is actually directed by Don Chaffey, the man behind Jason and the Argonauts.  While no stop-motion monster battles are to be found here, I'm still interested to see what Chaffey does with material that couldn't be more different.

The script is via Hazel Adair, best known as co-creator of the soaps Compact and the long-running Crossroads, tries her hand at a film noir/soap opera which deals with the taboo topic of homosexuality, still illegal in UK cinema.

2069: A Sex Odyssey (1974)

It's a sci-fi sexploitation flick from Germany featuring space maidens in search of sperm to bring home to Venus.  It simply has to be seen to be believed - let's watch.

Night Feeder (1988)

Shot on VHS horror, filmed in the brief but amazing San Francisco new-wave punk scene, this video was only released in Poland (until re-release relatively recently).  Let's press play.

Troma's War (1988)

On the heels of the successes of The Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke 'Em High, Lloyd Kaufman made a statement about Reagan's military policies in the form of Troma's War.  Let's press play...

Nov 24, 2017

Calendar Girls (1971)

Original title: Blutjunge Verführerinnen 3 from Switzerland/West Germany; in the vein of the popular sexploitation series Schulmadchen Report is an anthology of sleazy tales told by Ingrid Steeger, each featuring a female "seducer"

Let's take a look at each seducer's story... and by "story" I mean weak premise to show nudity.  Enjoy.

Without a Stitch (1968)

Of the seemingly millions of sleazy Euro imports that flooded drive-ins and seedy theaters in the late 60s and 70s - why watch this one?  First, it's 1968, so we haven't hit the hardcore level yet; so, things are still fun and campy - not even Skinamax levels.  Yes, I know there existed pornos in '68.  What I mean is - skin flicks could still be fun without getting explicit.

Second, it's filmed like a big MGM technicolor production; so, there isn't that grainy, brownish hue that would come to dominate 70s skin flicks.  Without a Stitch (AKA Uden en trævl) looks like it could be a Bob Hope or Doris Day film, but with boobs.

Magdalena, Possessed by the Devil (1974)

I was lured by some very lurid VHS box art promising demon possession and T&A.  As far as I know, this has not received a DVD/Blue Ray release, so I had to settle for a rather poor quality cassette.  But beggars can't be choosers, so let's press play.

Nov 23, 2017

The Velvet Vampire (1971)

One of the first horror movies released by Roger Corman's company New World, and the only known master print belongs to Quentin Tarantino's private collection.  Let's have a look at this rather unique vampire flick...

The Laughing Woman (1969)

It's a mod, psychedelic battle of the sexes from Italy. Let's press play and find out who wins...

Nov 21, 2017

I'm Watching You (1997)

How many late night cable, Skinemax variety erotic thrillers were made in the nineties?  One can only wonder.  We could cover only this brand of film on VZ1 and never reach the bottom, there was such a tsunami of this stuff coming out every week back in the day.

I'm Watching You (1997) was just one of the many... but on one quality, it delivered more than most.  Unlike its late night cable comrades which could often be stingy with their nude scenes, this film offered a nonstop marathon of T&A from start to finish, yet somehow managed to work in a cookie-cutter erotic thriller plot as well.  Let's have a look...

Escape from Brothel (1992)

One of the best surprises I've had in a long time.  I was looking for a martial arts flick and more-or-less randomly landed on this wonderfully odd, over-the-time, and genuinely absorbing Hong Kong action movie.  Brimming with violence, nudity, and bad taste, the film also includes a touching romantic story and numerous comedic moments.  A welcome breath of fresh air that I was not expecting.  Let's dive in...

Nov 13, 2017

The Perverse Countess (1974)

In the French film, La comtesse perverse,  Jesús Franco tries his hand at The Most Dangerous Game trope. Let's press play and see how he does...

Nov 10, 2017

Dracula: The Dirty Old Man (1969)

When an already terrible movie has to redub the entire film from scratch (because the original sound was so poor and didn't line up), it starts to transcend the "terrible" and enter into the murky waters of "train wreck". Add the fact that the film is beyond tasteless, mean spirited, and tacky to the fullest extent of the word, and you now have left the realm of "train wreck" and entered the realm of "dumpster fire".

So, if you're in the mood for something akin to burning garbage, then this may be for you. It's inept, poorly executed, and without any redeeming quality... other than its shameless bad taste which it revels in.  When I saw it for the first time, I was slack jawed amazed..... when I saw it the fifth time, I realized that I obviously have very bad taste in films, because here I go again.

But, hey - tasteless incompetence can be fun when it's done wrong.... horribly, horribly wrong.  And I love every minute of it.  This is a 45+ year old dumpster fire that still smells like shit.  Take a whiff and see for yourself, if you dare.

Nov 8, 2017

Rosie Dixon - Night Nurse (1978)

Rosie Dixon - Night Nurse was one among innumerable sexploitation flicks from the UK - all with that trademark style begun with the Carry On films, then kicked up a notch with the Confessions films. A little bit saucy, but at the end of the day, not much more risque than an episode of Benny Hill.

Nov 7, 2017

Hellgate (1989)

When Arnold Horshack is headlining the movie, this is something I've got to see.  I mean, it's a slasher movie with Arnold Horshack as the main actor, a decade after his days on Kotter.  This simply must be seen.

The Horror of Frankenstein (1970)

The Seventies have arrived, and Hammer had to find a new approach; atmospheric Gothic horror wasn't going to cut it in the era of Easy Rider, porn chic, and Rosemary's Baby.  They had to kick things up a notch.

Frankenstein General Hospital (1988)

Jekyll and Hyde... Together Again (1982) has long been among my favorite horror comedies, so I just had to check out Mark Blankfield's sequel of sorts.

The Playgirls and the Vampire (1960)/ The Vampire and the Ballerina (1960)

These two Italian B&W vampire movies couldn't be more alike.  Both involve a troupe of lovely showgirls stranded in a castle with a mysterious vampire lurking about.

I'd love to know the backstory to these two films, as to how such carbon copies came to exist.  The actors, the directors, the writers, and the production companies are all different; yet, somehow, two identical films came to be in 1960.  Enjoy.

In the Devil's Garden (1970)

A thoroughly engrossing whodunit from the UK; let's have a look...

The Spy in the Green Hat (1967)

This was actually a two part TV episode of The Man from UNCLE which played theatrically overseas. American audiences couldn't quite bring themselves tho pay for something they could catch on the boob tube for free, but let's press play and check it out...

One Spy Too Many (1966)

Let's press play and take a look at a "Man from UNCLE" flick featuring Batgirl and a biological weapon (designed by Dr. Evil, of course) which will cause a person to lose the will to win (?)...

Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987)

A couple galactic slave chicks wind up victims of the "Most Dangerous Game" trope. Let's see if it lives up to its awesome VHS cover.

Les Démoniaques (1974)

I've watched this movie before and hated it.  The film seemed like an artsy-fartsy French film, redeemed only by its copious nudity.  But, I figured I'd give it another try with an open mind this time...

Jeunes Filles Impudiques (1973)

The title roughly translates to "Shameless Young Girls", but was released in the US as Schoolgirl Hitchhikers and High School Hitchhikers. Let's press play...

The Pit and the Pendulum (1991)

The Pit and the Pendulum is loosely based on Poe's story, with a few of his other works blended in.  It's directed by Stuart Gordon, the guy behind such classics as Castle Freak (1995), Robot Jox (1989), From Beyond (1986) and Re-Animator (1985) - so, you know you're not in for a faithful Merchant-Ivory adaptation. Let's press play...

Satan's Blood (1978)

Escalofrío (1978)  AKA Satan's Blood, Don't Panic; Sprinkle yourself with holy water and grab your rosary because we're about to walk down a dark and sinister path...

Princess Warrior (1989)

Time travel, wet t-shirt contests, light sabers, and hot alien chicks - it has all the makings of a B-movie classic.  Let's turn our cerebrum off and press play...

Escape from Galaxy 3 (1981)

Escape from Galaxy 3 (1981) is disco sci-fi, with a ton o' nip slips, Parliament Funkadelic style aliens and film-making done badly.  Let's press play...

Beyond the Time Barrier (1960)

Tag line: "Adam and Eve of the Year 2024! Only they could re-populate the world!"

Nov 6, 2017

Kidnapped (1987)

Kidnapped (1987) is like your standard TV action drama... but with boobs, a chimp and unexpected dark turns that will have you wondering what the hell is going on.  It should have been a forgettable cookie-cutter movie-of-the-week, but ends up being anything but.  Let's press play...

Nov 5, 2017

The Dead One in the Thames (1971)

The Dead One in the Thames  (original title: Die Tote aus der Themse), an Edgar Wallace mystery from West Germany.  Let's have a look...

Nov 1, 2017

Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny and Girly (1969)

I'd heard this movie was one of the lost classics of British horror films, so I decided to give the film (called simply Girly in the States) a try. Considering it was directed by famed British horror veteran, Freddie Francis, I felt it had to be seen sooner or later. So, here goes.

Alice Goodbody (1974)

There were a lot of adult comedies in the seventies - which isn't surprising because there were a lot of adults.  In fact, America had never had anywhere close to this many adults... all with plenty of loose change and spare time to go catch a movie.  Naturally, the comedies that came out of this era weren't for kids - not just because of their sexual content, but because the humor simply wasn't for them (think Woody Allen and 1970s Blake Edwards).

Among the tidal wave of adult oriented comedies comes Gosh! Or How To Succeed In Hollywood Without Really Acting (1974) AKA Alice Goodbody. It's a comedic take on making it in showbiz with plenty o' adult content.  Let's have a look at this oft forgotten comedy, shall we?

Night of the Living Babes (1987)

I remember renting Night of the Living Babes back in '88 not knowing really what to expect. It was a strange little movie - sort of John Waters-esque, with a horror twist.  I returned it to the store, and didn't think about it again for twenty years.

Then, for whatever reason, a memory of this weird flick popped into my head.  "What the hell was the name of that movie?"  I couldn't remember to save my life, and it became sort of a quest to rediscover this film.

Recently, I found it, and was sad to see it's never earned a DVD release, so all that remains are some shitty VHS tapes and even worse VHS rips.  But that will have to do.  I'm not going to abort my quest just because of some poor video quality.  It's time to rediscover this lost classic scene by scene - let's dive in!

Blood and Black Lace (1964)

I saw Blood and Black Lace back in the 1980s on VHS.  It was my first introduction into the giallo, Italian horror genre, and quite frankly, it blew my mind.  The colors are so vivid, every scene is framed beautifully, the styles, the music, the mood.... this is art even a lowbrow fella like me could appreciate.

Stormswept (1995)

I've seen a lot of bad movies in my forty-plus years of moviegoing - so, it takes a lot for me to be blown away by a film's badness.  Stormswept is just such a film.... if it can even be called a film.  It's recorded on a substance called "film" but that's where the similarities end.  There's no plot, no direction, nothing.  It seems like it wants to be a thriller or a horror movie at times, but it just can't muster enough energy to do it.  Instead, it just meanders pointlessly through time.

The only reason ever to watch Stormswept is for boobs, of which Melissa Moore, Kathleen Kinmont and Lorissa McComas provide their fair share.  But it's all pretty tame and nothing too special.

But then there's this one scene....

Evil Toons (1992)

Four girls are tasked by cult star Dick Miller to clean up an old abandoned mansion with a dark history for "a hundred bucks".  Crazy shit ensues...

Plankton (1994)

Plankton (AKA  Creatures from the Abyss) Tagline: "Sit right back and hear a tale, A tale of a frightful ship."

The Astro-Zombies (1968)

When I heard that Wayne Rogers of M*A*S*H* co-wrote this screenplay, I simply had to take a look. Let's press play...

Circus of Horrors (1960)

The film begins with a bang - in fact this may be one of the better intros to a horror film I've ever seen.  A woman is hysterical, smashing up her house - what could be the matter?  When the police storm the scene they see exactly what's going on here - her face!

À Gauche en Sortant de L'ascenseur (1988)

À Gauche en Sortant de L'ascenseur (1988) AKA Door on the Left as You Leave the Elevator - may be the ultimate example of a "It's Not What It Looks Like" trope which sets up a spiraling Comedy of Errors.

The French comedy (written and based on a play by Gérard Lauzier) stars Pierre Richard as Yann, an artist and bumbling loser.  He's successful, living in a lavish sky-rise apartment, but he's got terrible luck (think Dudley Moore in "10"), which plays directly into the central misunderstanding.

Night of the Bloody Apes (1968)

Let me start by saying that this movie delivers on all counts and I make no apologies. There was an interesting story, hot naked babes, and a bloody ape that took care of business with extreme prejudice. What more do you want? Let's press play...

Return to Horror High (1987)

Return to Horror High (1987),oddly enough, is not a sequel.  It's sort of in the vein of Scream and National Lampoon's Class Reunion in that it's a parody of the slasher genre which tries to incorporate all the tropes alternating between comedy and scares. Let's have a look...