Sep 26, 2017

The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave (1971)

The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave (1971) La notte che Evelyn uscì dalla tomba (original title)

This is one of those that I remember on late night TV back in the early eighties (along with the similar sounding Let's Scare Jessica To Death, a frequent choice for local networks wanting to play scary-but-safe seventies horror flicks).  But I don't remember anything about it, and I'm sure the version I saw was trimmed of all the "good parts".  So, let's press play on this full, unadulterated, giallo from '71.  Enjoy.

Sep 22, 2017

Spasmo (1974)

With a name like Spasmo, I couldn't help but give it a try. I expected it to be a lot campier than it was - turns out, it's actually a well-crafted, beautifully filmed psychological horror flick.  Let's have a look...

Deadly Friend (1986)

Note: This review contains spoilers.  Here's the first spoiler - Deadly Friend is the most batshit crazy movie I have ever seen.  Wes Craven has disowned it, claiming it started out as a worthy project and disintegrated into a blinding mess of historic proportions.  Multiple producers and multiple changes before and after test audiences booed it, turned this would-be family friendly fantasy movie into a schizoid bii-polar mess that is crazier than a shit-house rat.

But it's not crazy in good way - like say Dr. Strangelove.  No, it's the bad kind of crazy - the kind where you wish you'd done something productive with yourself instead of wasting your life watching movies like Deadly Friend.  But, given the fact that it is among the most insanely awful movies I've ever seen in four plus decades of life, I felt I had to share...

Wizard of Gore (1970)

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Get Crazy (1983)

Get Crazy is perhaps the most aptly named move ever made.  Only cocaine could have produced a movie this manic, this politically incorrect, this.... well, crazy.  Do you remember a few years ago when the word of the day was "random"? Well this is that.  It's so nuts that I can't really give it a proper walkthrough... but I'll give it a try.

The Lost Empire (1983)

Today, we're looking at The Lost Empire, the directorial debut of Jim Wynorski (Chopping Mall, Sorority House Massacre II, Return of Swamp Thing).  It's actually pretty low on nudity, but full of smoking hot ladies and enough fun-filled camp to keep most fans of 80s B-movies happy.

In The Lost Empire you'll find Anthony Kiedis' dad, disappearing eyebrows, a penis cannon, prison mud wrestling, ninjas, a King Sized Cracked magazine, and the Tall Man from Phantasm.  If this sounds intriguing to you, follow me as I take it scene by scene...

Boy, Did I Get a Wrong Number! (1966)

Boy, Did I Get a Wrong Number! was almost universally panned by the critics who compared it to a 90 minute sitcom.  True enough, it's not particularly profound or innovative; however, it does entertain.

Bob Hope does what he does best, smacking one-liners out of the park in rapid succession.  And Elke Sommer does what she does best - looking foxy for the camera.  Spice it all up with a little Phyllis Diller and awesome 60's sets, and you've just made cinematic gold. If it weren't for the convoluted mess that is the last quarter of the film, this would be classic.

Sep 20, 2017

Sexual Chemistry (1999)

A scientists invents a formula that turns him into a smoking hot woman.  Yeah, it's been done a thousand times.  But Sexual Chemistry puts a fresh spin on a tired story.  Let's have a look.

Virgin Witch (1972)

Sisters Betty and Christine (Vicki and Ann Michelle) want to become famous models.  Instead, they get to be lifetime members of a witches' coven.  Not a bad deal, if you ask me.  There's plent-o-nudity from these famous British actresses, and plenty of satanic shenanigans to make this worth a look.

Double Exposure (1983)

Double Exposure (1983) has a mother load of familiar faces (Joanna Pettet, Misty Rowe, Cleavon Little, Pamela Hensley, Kathy Shower, Seymour Cassel, James Stacy, Sally Kellerman... the list goes on).  It's like a TV movie, but extremely mean spirited, and more-than-slightly sleazy.  This must be checked out. Let's have a look.

Sep 17, 2017

Repligator (1996)

It features a machine that turns people into smoking hot nymphos, reptile soldiers, and homosexual zombies.  Plus, it has Brinke Stevens, Gunnar "Leatherface" Hansen, and TJ Myers wearing lingerie for most of the movie.... do I even need to tell you to press play?

Sep 14, 2017

Death Walks on High Heels (1971)

Death Walks on High Heels (1971) - La morte cammina con i tacchi alti (original title)
It's a giallo with more twists and turns than a cheap garden hose.  It's a murder mystery surrounding stolen diamonds.  Giallos seem to be either exceptionally amazing or a boring train wreck. Let's press play and see which category this falls under....

Unhinged (1982)

This movie is primarily known for being on the infamous "Video Nasties" list in the UK.  It perfectly typifies why government censorship is painfully incompetent, as this has next to nothing that would warrant landing on a "banned" list.  But let's see what all the hubbub was about, shall we?

Sep 11, 2017

The Immortalizer (1990)

They're putting old people's brains into young hot teenagers.  Last I checked, that's not ethical.  Let's see what happens when brains get swapped, drugged girls get molested, and freaks attack.  Ready? Press play...

The Swamp of the Ravens (1974)

The Swamp of the Ravens (1974) - El pantano de los cuervos (original title)

It’s a Spanish film about a mad scientist, pushing the limits of medicine to harness mortality itself. But his research collides with reality when his lover dies and only his unorthodox practices can save her.  Sound like a familiar story? That’s probably because it’s been done a million times… but this time is special, and contains some of the strangest, disturbingly weird scenes I've ever witnessed on film.  Let's have a look.

Sep 10, 2017

The Tale of the Dean's Wife (1970)

A psychedelic sex orgy, LSD abuse, crazed hippies, nympho wives... The Tale of the Dean's Wife has a lot going for it.  Let's see if it delivers...

Boeing Boeing (1965)

Have a look at movie posters from this period - they all look pretty much the same with caricatures running after each other (usually illustrated by Jack Davis or Frank Frazetta).  You just know it's going to be a zany, madcap adventure!

Please Turn Over (1959)

From the Carry On gang comes this wonderful comedy about a "perfectly respectable" family being scandalized by the publication of the daughter's sleazy novel.

My Sister in Law (1976)

La Pretora (AKA My Sister in Law) is an Italian sex comedy from 1976 starring the often naked Edwige Fenech, and directed by Italian zombie maestro Lucio Fulci.  A Fenech-Fulci combo that I just have to see.  Let's press play...

Sep 2, 2017

Between the Sheets (1973)

A Danish flick about a girl who inherits a lot of money, but still is unhappy because her love life sucks.  Plus, there's a comedy of errors revolving around a misunderstanding that could blow the lid off everything.

The Playbirds (1978)

I chose this flick because I'd heard so much about the tragic and interesting story of actress/model Mary Millington, yet had never seen her in anything.  Mary was becoming a veterinary nurse when she met David Sullivan who catapulted her to fame via nudie magazines and films, including Come Play with Me which still stands as the longest-running film in British movie history.  The tragedy came when Mary got wrapped up in drugs, came under UK law enforcement scrutiny and committed suicide.

Yes, it's depressing, but so is this movie.  It has that bleak feel that only the 1970s can muster.

School Spirit (1985)

Perverted ghosts, Frank from M*A*S*H*, frat parties, marijuana, shower scenes, a brilliant Betamax cover... what could possibly go wrong?  Turns out - a helluva lot.  Let's check out this odd ghost movie from 1985.

Ghoulies IV (1994)

It's ranked among the worst films of all time on IMDb. It features a couple hot ladies, some wisecracking trolls, and cosmic satanism - surely it can't be all that bad, right?

Twisted Nerve (1968)

Hayley Millis is stalked, ravaged, and creepily ogled by a mentally deranged psychopath.  What else do you need to know?  Let's watch...

Take a Girl Like You (1970)

Basically a feature length manifesto for swinging. Oliver Reed spends the entire film convincing Haley Mills to give up her virginity.  Let's see if he succeeds...

The Wicked Dreams of Paula Schultz (1968)

Elke Sommer escapes from the cold Commie world of East Germany by going incognito into the carefree shagadelic Western world.

Witchcraft 7: Judgment Hour (1995)

Witchcraft movies are like an episode of Silk Stalkings or a late-night Cinemax flick, with a supernatural element.   Nothing too heady, just vampire erotica.  Let's have a look.