In the Sign of the Taurus (1974)

 

(Original Title: I Tyrens tegn) It's with a heavy heart that we bring you the very last of the Astrology series.  The other films in the series: Under the Sign of the Virgin (1973) AKA Danish Pastries, In the Sign of the Gemini (1975), In the Sign of the Lion (1976), Agent 69 in the Sign of Scorpio (1977) and Agent 69 Jensen in the Sign of Sagittarius (1978).

Night Bird (1977)

 

Basically a Saturday Night Fever porno.  For those that were around, you'll recall that seemingly every film from '77 through the end of the decade was riding the Saturday Night Fever gravy train. But Night Bird isn't just a gimmicky cash grab - the film does try to be "its own thing" and really has heart. 

Spring Break Massacre (2008)

 

Your standard self-aware slasher.  Exceptional in that I don't think I have ever seen a movie start out fine and shit the bed so spectacularly. 

Secret Sex Club (2003)

 

A widower mourns the loss of his life, then is visited by her ghost and a series of ghosts who inhabit an other worldly sex club.

Timeless Obsession (1996)

 

A romance novelist who's trying to be faithful for once in his life becomes obsessed with an old painting of a woman.  It turns out, the painting holds the answer to his infidelity, with origins in another lifetime. Featuring Jennifer Behr, so you know it's worth a look.

Abraxas: Black Magic from the Darkness (2001)

 

(Original Title: Abraxas - Riti segreti dall'oltretomba) Women of Tuscany beware. A cult of Mephistopheles are using them for ritual sacrifices. It's up to a trio of paranormal investigators to eradicate this supernatural evil.

Very Close Encounters (1987)

 

[From Electric Blue #46] A beautiful coed turns out to be a visitor from another galaxy. She assists two hapless students in a collegiate science fair, but a conniving competitor has other plans.

Sex Hotline (1985)

 

[From Electric Blue 30, US] In a clinic for the chronically horny, various patients are brought in in different stages of sexual frustration. The founder of the clinic, a tower of will power and abstinence on the outside, is secretly just as horny as the patients his staff treats.

Bra Wars 2: The Rack of the Clones (2002)

 

A Star Wars prequel spoof that I can find very little information on.  Presumably, the Lucasfilm lawyers have disintegrated every last trace of it and sued or murdered everyone involved.  I'm sure this review will come to an untimely end as well.  It's an all-female adult film with a surprising dedication to the original.  Many porn spoofs are connected to their source material in name-only, but this one goes for it as best it can on a abysmally small budget with CGI almost as bad as Rogue One.

Drainiac! (2000)

 

A girl who has to clean a house unwittingly releases the "Drainiac", a water demon. From the director of Screaming Dead (2003)

Night of the Hunted (1980)

 

(Original Title:La nuit des traquées) A Jean Rollin film that is often compared to Cronenberg's work. 

Did Baby Shoot Her Sugardaddy? (1973)

 

A mobster is killed and it's up to a detective to find the culprit. A lost and forgotten film that somehow managed to win the lottery and get a beautiful restoration.

Hidden Beauties (1999)

 

Three women are put into a 100 year sleep by a gypsy. They are awaken in 1999 and proceed to randomly have sex with guests at a castle.

Party Games for Adults Only (1984)

 

I guess in 1984 we were still feeling out directions to go with home video. Here is a super cheesy adult oriented VHS full of party games and bad jokes. Featuring appearances from Barbara Peckinpaugh, Rhonda Shear, and Linnea Quigley.

Slaves of the Realm (2003)

 

(AKA Sins of the Realm) For many moons the realm has been held together in peace by a system where all the lords offer their daughters for marriage to the king.  But the system is in danger when the king's sister takes all these virgins hostage.

A Rock and a Hard Place (1999)

 

It looks like just another softcore throwaway, but this has more in common with a Sidaris action flick than a standard erotic thriller.  The story follows a drifter who stumbles upon a jewelry heist and gets wrapped up in an island crime boss and his femme fatale wife.

Monique and Julie (1979)

 

(Original Title: Monique et Julie, deux collégiennes en partouze) An anthology of four erotic stories each with some connection to butterflies. I'd say this definitely qualities as a Schulmädchen-Report Film, although it was made in France.  Featuring the great Sylvia Engelmann and Marilyn Jess.

Teenage Cavegirl (2004)

 

A Fred Olen Ray flick about a time traveling cavegirl. Not to be confused with One Million Heels B.C. (1993).

Caligula's Spawn (2009)

 

The sister of former emperor Caligula, Druscilla, runs a sex slave operation as a side hustle.  Things go south when she enslaves a bastard daughter of a Roman senator  

Secret Passions (1979)

 

(Original Title: Das Haus der geheimen Luste) A well respected aristocrat family is in danger of having their good name tarnished by a reporter who has uncovered their secret "degenerate" lifestyles. Featuring the great  Sylvia Engelmann.

The Love Machine (1986)

 

[From Electric Blue 37, US] A "Back to the Future" takeoff where a nerd is transported back to the fifties.  There he has the opportunity to get with the mother of the girl of his dreams.

Vinyl Dolls (2002)

 

A girl band acquires a new lead singer, but she comes with some baggage - namely a criminal record and psycho boyfriend.  Featuring Beverly Lynne, Tiffany Shepis and Jezebelle Bond.

She the Vampire (1998)

 

(Original Title: Sete da Vampira) Never before has Jean Rollin been more imitated - maybe with a dash of Franco. So, I don't need to tell you there's no story, just a lot pretentious imagery and boobs. 

Cosmic Co-Eds (1985)

 

[From Electric Blue #26, US] The space shuttle "Curvaceous" with the first all-girl crew must deal with Dr. Lust who threatens the earth with his impotence ray.

Midnight Madness (1986)

 

[From Electric Blue 39, US] A stewardess is tired of every guy she meets wanting sex, and a midcentury film star is tired of the reverse - never getting past a kiss onscreen.  So, they switch roles.

Mistress of Seduction (1998)

 

A phone sex operator takes a sack of money from her husband and skips town.  Her new roommates get wrapped up in her dirty dealings.

Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens (1979)

 

I love how Roger Ebert would shit all over anything remotely exploitative, conveniently forgetting his collaborations with Russ Meyer.  This is Meyer's last theatrical release.  Enjoy.

No Escape (2008)

 

At the close of WWII, two sisters escape the Nazis with a bag of emeralds.  One sisters ends up in the hands of an Ilsa character, the other at the mercy of a sadistic cousin. 

Sexual Therapist (1971)

 

Man, how many times has the "sex therapist" plot device been used in sexploitation films?  We're quickly approaching Sextillion.  Add this to the list.

Pleasure Dome (1986)

 

[From Electric Blue 45, US] Two idiotic delivery men have their duffle bag switched, thus misplacing a large sum of money owed to a gangster.  Somehow this leads them into pretending to be women and joining a girl band.

Red and Black (1997)

 

A serial killer is running amuck in Budapest.  It's up to a super-hot detective and her partner to find the identity of the killer.  Could it be a rich girl artist? 

Birds in Paradise vol. 4 (1984)

 

[Follows Birds in Paradise vol. 3 (1984)) A girl inherits a yacht in the Florida Keys; unfortunately she needs to come up with ten grand to claim it, otherwise it goes to a shady loan agent.  This was released as a four part series and then as a VHS - a very cheesy show that gets surprisingly sleazy; featuring the great Jennifer Inch.

Birds in Paradise vol. 3 (1984)

 

[Follows Birds in Paradise vol. 2 (1984)) A girl inherits a yacht in the Florida Keys; unfortunately she needs to come up with ten grand to claim it, otherwise it goes to a shady loan agent.  This was released as a four part series and then as a VHS - a very cheesy show that gets surprisingly sleazy; featuring the great Jennifer Inch.

Birds in Paradise vol. 2 (1984)

 

[Follows Birds in Paradise vol.1 (1984)) A girl inherits a yacht in the Florida Keys; unfortunately she needs to come up with ten grand to claim it, otherwise it goes to a shady loan agent.  This was released as a four part series and then as a VHS - a very cheesy show that gets surprisingly sleazy; featuring the great Jennifer Inch.

Birds in Paradise vol.1 (1984)

 

A girl inherits a yacht in the Florida Keys; unfortunately she needs to come up with ten grand to claim it, otherwise it goes to a shady loan agent.  This was released as a four part series and then as a VHS - a very cheesy show that gets surprisingly sleazy; featuring the great Jennifer Inch.

Superheroine Tales (2002)

 

Yeah, it's just another fetish film that looks like it's filmed in a 90s suburban home.  Thought we might get something more here than just girls prancing around in costumes and getting tied up.  Turns out that's precisely what we get.

Nine Guests for a Crime (1977)

 

(Original Title: Nove ospiti per un delitto) Nine wholly unlikable rich people are stranded on an island.  Their group gets picked off one by one (ten little indians style - or rather nine little indians).  

Breeding Farm (2013)

 

A sex slave operation abducts four teenagers leaving a party.  

Mr D's No Thing Tales (2015)

 

An odd and mean spirited horror anthology by Tomiko Kempski basically about a bunch of ladies getting killed.

The Stealth Sex Fiend (2003)

 

(Original Title: Yînxíng yínmó: Yông qín guì lì shuâng chái/ 隱形淫魔之勇擒貴利雙柴) Another erotic take on the Invisible Man,  This one from Hong Kong.

The Golden Banana of Bad Porn (1971)

 

(Original Title: Die goldene Banane von Bad Porno) "Silly" doesn't begin to describe this German comedy featuring Ingrid Steeger and Rena Bergen. 

More Than Sisters (1979)

 

In the tradition of DePalma's Sisters, Twisted Sisters (2006), Mark of Caine (1985), Love Me Twice (1996), Evil Sister 2 (2001), Mirror Images II (1993), and a million other movies about twin sisters, comes this Shaun Costello adult film that holds its own with the best of them.

Pastries (1975)

 

Okay, this one's a mess.  The film consists of scenes from other movies (primarily A Touch of Sweden) which I'm not totally sure were even released.  It stars Uschi Digard as a woman who returns to her homeland and relates her adventures in the US.  The stories feature some of the top sexploitation stars of the time (including Sandy Carey and Sandy Dempsey), but their softcore sex scenes are largely removed and replaced with gritty hardcore material with body doubles.  A tragedy.

Blind Date (1986)

 

[From Electric Blue 23 (UK) and 28 (US)] A Hulk Hogan obsessed girl goes on a blind date with a nerd she has no interest in.  He turns out to be an international spy, and they embark on an adventure.

Bikini Pirates (2006)

 

Another Fred Olen Ray throwaway mass-produced fast-food sexploitation starring Beverly Lynne and Nicole Sheridan.

Debbie Desire (1985)

[From US Electric Blue #31] An advice columnist for the lovelorn finds her job in jeopardy when her boss feels she needs a fresher approach. With her own love life at a standstill and at a loss for new advice, she is unwittingly aided by an office boy who has a knack for saying just the right thing.

Nudelighting: The Topless Detectives (1987)

 

From Electric Blue 48 (US, 1987) Two rival detectives and former lovers, make a bet to solve a case in 24 hours. The case: a client claims to have "lost" her virginity.

Electric Blue 07 (1982)

 

Another Electric Blue episode - this one featuring Michelle Bauer, a bit on Bond girls, jello wrestling, and whatnot.

Electric Blue 43 (1993)

 

Another episode of the UK erotic magazine show Electric Blue; unfortunately no wraparound story - or really anything to do with the cover.

Confessions of a Pop Performer (1975)

 

Well, sad to say, but this is likely our last Confessions film to be reviewed as I think we've done them all. [Check out the VZ1 Series Page to check: Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974), Confessions Of A Driving Instructor (1976) and Confessions from a Holiday Camp (1977)]