Under the Bed (1977)

 

Tomfoolery surrounding a wedding party.  Originally intended as part of a trilogy, but for whatever reason ended up a short film.  Still a randy good time.

The title song is a wonderfully cheesy lounge style cocktail tune. Sung by presumably Derek Warne and written by William Shakespeare's sister, which is pretty impressive.

The film begins at this lovely home - perhaps the producer's real life domicile?  

The credits let us know this is Wraysbury, Berkshire, 1 Great Windmill Street, London.

You can't start off much better than this - with Theresa Wood providing full frontal nudity in the bath.

Sally (Theresa Wood) is getting ready for her wedding.

She's told to hurry it along, they're running late.

Sally gets into her wedding dress.

She's rushed to the car. [Note we never see the actual wedding in the church.]

Francoise (Adrienne Conway) the maid is there to see her off.

Immediately after their departure, she greets the Milkman (Roy Scammell).

Adrienne Conway wrote 12 episodes of the TV series "Streets Apart"

After the wedding and back at the house, Sally and her father Mr. Harton (Frank Coda) enjoy a conversation with her randy Uncle Bertie (Bill Boazman).  

Uncle Bertie is served by the caterer Maria-Teresa (Lisa Taylor), who he naturally hits on the rest of the party.

Jose (David Rodigan) whose English isn't too good, mingles with Judith (Caroline Funnell).  To give you an idea of the banter - where nearly every line is a double entendre  in this movie. Jose talks about the bride...

JOSE: I think she is about to encounter a very big thing in her life.
JUDITH: Yes, I think you could be right.

Miss Mavis Peabody (Pamela Grafton),  Mr. Barnes personal secretary, arrives and comments that Judy has been hiding her beauty under a bushel.  I thought this was surely going to be a set up for yet another risqué joke.  But none followed.

The elusive Mr. Barnes never shows and Miss Peabody is left drunk and dejected.  

Auntie Bessie (Alix Crista) introduces herself to Miss Peabody - and we are led to understand they will end up lovers.  I suspect this lesbian affair might have gone somewhere if this film had ended up full length.

Penny (Jayne Lester) is listed as "the reluctant virgin" in the credits.  She is hit on by Arthur (Peter Jolley).

Penny stutters her 'F' and is a prudish virgin.  So she says things like: "I just don't f-f-f-fall into bed with every man I meet."

PENNY: There's no need to poke f-f-f-fun at me!

ARTHUR: If there's one thing I'd never poke at you it's fun.

After much hard work and determination, Arthur is able to convince Penny to sleep with him.

PENNY: Arthur, I never knew I could f-f-f-feel like this.

ARTHUR: I thought you were going to say something else then.

This is Jayne Lester's first acting credit.  She was on a lot of British TV.  Four episodes of "To the Manor Born" (pictured above), "All Creatures Great and Small" and many more throughout the late seventies, early eighties.  She also appeared in Killer's Moon, and oddly enough composed the soundtrack.

The Italian caterer Maria-Teresa (Lisa Taylor) runs into the neighbor who invites her on his boat.

The guy didn't know what he was getting into as the caterer Maria-Teresa is a raging stallion in bed.

Sally gets out of her wedding dress.

Her old boyfriend  Alan Street (John Hamill) appears from between her legs under the bed.

Alan is drunk and falls onto the bed - which of course leads to sex.

Sally worries that her new husband will find out.

The pompous and stuffy groom, Timothy (Brian Godfrey), is busy boring the guests. Timothy tells Judy that his last name is Eveready and Sally's new name is Mrs. Eveready-Harton.  Judy says that's a mouthful.

Timothy hears Sally's orgasm and goes to her room to check on her.  Alan has gotten out in the nick of time, and Sally is putting on her boots.

TIMOTHY:  I bet you feel much better after all that.

SALLY: ....Much better after what?

TIMOTHY: Changing out of all that finery.

And that's pretty much that.  Jose, Judy and Alan help Frank (Adrian Ropes), who is flamboyantly gay and drunk.  There's a little more shenanigans along the way, but that's the end of it.

CHARACTERS

Sally (Theresa Wood) bride

Timothy (Brian Godfrey) groom

Alan Street (John Hamill) bride's ex boyfriend

Francoise (Adrienne Conway) maid 

Milkman (Roy Scammell)

Caterer (Michael Cronin)

Maria-Teresa (Lisa Taylor) caterer

Mr. Harton (Frank Coda) bride's father

Uncle Bertie (Bill Boazman) 

Judith (Caroline Funnell) 

Jose (David Rodigan)

Miss Mavis Peabody (Pamela Grafton) Mr. Barnes personal secretary

Penny (Jayne Lester) "the reluctant virgin"

Arthur (Peter Jolley)

Auntie Bessie (Alix Crista) 

Frank (Adrian Ropes) gay guest

RATING: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ 6/10

REVIEW: If you enjoy nonstop double entendres and silly comedy of errors like I do, this a good time.  I could watch this all day... well, actually I could watch for forty minutes and then it starts to get old.  And that's the problem.  If this had ended up as initially intended (a full length film), we would have gotten other locations and more meat to the story.  But as it stands, it's literally all at the same house (aside from a bit on a small boat), and hitting the same notes over and over.  One location, one note.  Not exactly a recipe for a great film, but for what it is, it's good cheesy fun. And I'd be remiss not to mention that the addition of several quality nude scenes from several quality actresses is an added bonus.