Qing ben jia ren (1991)

 

(AKA Pretty Woman) Of course this is not the Julia Roberts flick - but I'd say it's a hundred times better. A hooker poses as an office worker and gets caught in the middle of a diamond heist.  Instead of lame Richard Gere, we have kung-fu badass Alex Fong, and instead of modest Julia Roberts, we have oft naked Veronica Yip.  Plus lots of explosions, drug induced office orgies, and... well let's not spoil everything.  Let's have a look.

Lo Yin-Hsin (Veronica Yip) is working late at the office.

George (Kent Tong) creeps around spying on her.

George imagines she's naked. He has a thing for Lo Yin-Hsin, but she always spurns his advances.

George attacks her, throwing her onto a desk.  But there is an ornamental flag pen on the desk which basically impales Lo Yin-Hsin.

George is horrified to see that Lo Yin-Hsin is dead.

So, George puts Lo Yin-Hsin in her car, pours gasoline on it, and then sets it on fire.

The next day at work, George's co-works laugh about how Lo Yin-Hsin was raped and murdered. He listens to his ghoulish colleagues but of course doesn't give himself away as the murderer.

At a cocktail lounge George gets with a hooker who is the exact likeness of Lo Yin-Hsin. He pays Mimin (Veronica Yip) a large sum of money to go into work tomorrow posing as Lo Yin-Hsin.  She is turn in her resignation then leave.  It's the perfect plan.

But George's plan already begins to unravel when Mimin is attacked by a gang of rapists.

Mimin is thrown into the back of a truck.

But this rape gang didn't count on Lin Cha-Sin (Alex Fong) showing up. He's a one man army and puts the beat down on the entire gange single-handedly. 

Mimin watches in awe as Cha-Sin makes her attackers his bitch.  Then he just politely nods and drives away.  

Mimin shows up at the office posing as Lo Yin-Hsin ready to do what George paid her to do.

George's co-workers are back, and as obscenely grotesque as ever.

Miss Ode (Mondi Yau) is a manager at this place and treats her underlings like shit.

Miss Ode wants to be whistled at and harassed, but the guys all find her unpleasant. 

Mimin goes to office of Charlie Chau (Charlie Cho) the Personnel Manager to deliver her letter of resignation (as Lo Yin-Hsin).  But he's getting a blow job under the desk and can't receive it right now.

Mimin is shocked to find knight in shining armor, Lin Cha-Sin, at this office. Not only does he work here, he is the vice president, and son of the company president, Mr. Lin.  Mr. Lin's personal secretary is May (Yuet-Sin Lee) who pulls Cha-Sin away to his father's office.

 

Miss Ode, always trying to climb the ladder, is jealous that Mimin knows the vice president.  So, she suddenly pretends to be nice.

 

Mimin returns to Charlie Chau's office to tender her resignation and is shocked to find him actively humping a girl on his desk.

But Mimin does receive a notice directed to her (addressed to Lin Cha-Sin. And here's the rub: the notice informs her of her current pay.  Mimin has an epiphany.  She should just quit being a hooker and work here as Lin Cha-Sin instead!  The pay is good.  Why not?

The office perverts don't understand how Lin Cha-Sin is back at work after a rape/murder, but Mimin is much more charismatic and worldly, so is able to fit in nicely.

George calls her demanding to know why she hasn't quit yet.

Cha-Sin visits his father Mr. Lin (Wu Ma) the company president. They will be presenting a rare purple diamond at an exhibition with interested parties from the Middle East.

Mr. Lin's personal secretary May (Yuet-Sin Lee) looks very suspicious  listening very intently to this conversation.  Indeed, she is working with Lin's arch nemesis...

Hwang Shun Chin AKA "Mr. Shun" is a direct competitor to the Lin business and is using May as a mole to get inside information.  Shun works with criminal Chiu (Jack Suen Kwok-Ming) to sabotage Lin's purple diamond exhibition.

Shun plays squash with May.

The ball hits May in the crotch.

Shun inspects the injury - and one thing leads to another right there on the squash court.

This is one helluva original sex scene, folks. Yuet-Sin Lee is fantastic.

Mimin returns to work, and Miss Ode is the same old ladder-climber as always, jealous that Mimin has an appointment with the personnel manager, Charlie Chau.

Of course the real reason Charlie has arranged for this appointment is to have sex with Mimin.  He drugs her drink - but Mimin is one step ahead of him, and swaps it back.

With Charlie drugged, Mimin tells Miss Ode that she learned that Charlie actually has a thing for her, and would love her to come in his office.

Miss Ode slinks into Charlie's office and takes off her dress.

Charlie is drugged and unable to resist.  (I'm not sure why everyone is so repulsed by Miss Ode.  She seems fine to me.)

Shun's diamond heist is in effect with Chiu leading a band of criminals to hijack the car of Middle Easterners.

What they didn't count on was badass Cha-Sin hopping out of the trunk taking on the criminals himself.  He hooks a chain to their car so they can't escape.

The police arrive and every one of Shun's men are blown away.

Chiu survives and delivers the bad news to Shun of the failure.

Shun is at his wits end and so seeks further help from May. He finds her in the gym and they have sex.

He lays her on a workout bench and strips off her clothes.

Another absolutely incredible and original sex scene featuring Yuet-Sin Lee.

At climax, Shun agressively yells at May, telling her she needs to assist him with bringing down Lin's company once and for all.

George is also upset.  He finds Mimin at her old cocktail bar and pulls her hair, yelling that she must quit her job once and for all. 

Miss Ode shows up to work revitalized - so much so, the office perverts don't even recognize her.

Miss Ode says she's engaged to Charlie, who doesn't seem too happy about it.

Carrying out Shun's devious plan, May spikes the break room tea with a drug.

The drug causes everyone at the office to become an out of control sex maniac.  It starts out with the workers subtly wondering what's going on.

Before long the whole place becomes an orgy.

Cha-Sin and Mimin arrive with investors.  They are shocked by what they see.

May calls Shun to tell him their plan is a success.

But Mimin has a plan to save their reputation. She tells Cha-Sin to go into his father's office and close the door.

May is resisting being raped on her desk - but then she sees Mimin looking at her...

If it looks like she's resisting she'll be discovered as the perpetrator. So, she has to let herself be raped!

In the end, it's all good.  Mimin has saved the day.

Mr. Lin is happy with her performance.  He rewards her with the opportunity to accompany Cha-Sin to Macau for their next business venture.

George calls Mimin and tells her she has to quit.  Now that she's in good with the company president she tells him to get lost.

May, Cha-Sin and Mimin arrive in Macau.

Shun has sent Chiu and his thugs to abduct them.  

The three of them are thrown into a hotel room.  May faints on a chair.

Cha-Sin is taken away, and Mimin is assaulted.

Once again, Chiu and his thugs have underestimated the fighting prowess of Cha-Sin.

Mimin hits her attacker over the head with an ashtray and calls the police.

Mimin can't revive May and so runs out alone.

May wakes up and tells the guy (who was hit with the ashtray) that Mimin has escaped - and that Cha-Sin is on the loose.

Cha-Sin is finally outnumbered.  Not even he can compete with this many attackers.

The Macau police respond to Mimin's call and all hell breaks loose.

An epic battle ensues out front and in the lobby of the hotel.

This movie seems to have a pretty big budget - lots of extras, explosions, etc.

\

Hell yes.

The battle continues down at the stockyard.  Chiu is finally killed in the standoff.

Cha-Sin and Mimin watch as the whole place is blown to smithereens. 

Cha-Sin and Mimin have sex.

Back at the office, Charlie hasn't slowed down a bit harassing the female workers.

But now Miss Ode has something to say about it.  She puts a stop to his humping.

George has had enough of Mimin.  He doesn't realize Cha-Sin is listening around the corner. He learns that he murdered Lo Yin-Hsin and that Mimin is just her doppleganger. 

Cha-Sin straight up murders George.

The police arrive. Despite the fact that her tormentor is dead, Mimin is sad because now Cha-Sin wants nothing to do with her.  He feels betrayed by her dishonesty.

Mimin is depressed.  She goes home and takes a bath.

She thinks of Cha-Sin and gets aroused.

She fantasizes she's in a pool with him.

With her real identity exposed, Mimin can't return to the office.  Instead she has to go back to work as a hooker at the cocktail lounge. She's surprised who she finds there. 

It's Cha-Sin!  He's come around, and still in love with her.  He asks her to marry him. THE END

CHARACTERS
Lo Yin-Hsin (Veronica Yip)

Mimin (Veronica Yip)
Lin Cha-Sin (Alex Fong)

George (Kent Tong) 

Miss Ode (Mondi Yau)

Charlie Chau (Charlie Cho) Personnel Manager

May (Yuet-Sin Lee)

Mr. Lin (Wu Ma)

Hwang Shun Chin "Mr. Shun"

Chiu (Jack Suen Kwok-Ming)

RATING: ★★★★★★★★★☆ 9/10

REVIEW: This was absolutely fan-fucking-tastic. It has it all - a fun story, action, sex, comedy... and it's all executed perfectly.  Veronica Yip is the headliner, but Yuet-Sin Lee is the real MVP with outstanding sex scenes in the gym and squash court.  It's amazing how many extras are used in this film - particularly the office drug orgy and the hotel battlefront. It goes down so many circuitous avenues you don't expect and never takes its foot off the gas. I haven't had this much fun watching a movie in a while.