Fairy Tales (1978)

 

Yet another naughty take on fairy tales, notable for being Linnea Quigley's first film. 

Dangerous Cargo (1977)

 

(Original Title: Anomalo fortio) A Greek film which would be totally forgotten were it not for the oft-naked Deborah Shelton in her first role.  In a few years, Shelton would become a regular on 1980s TV appearing on The Fall Guy, TJ Hooker, The A-Team, Fantasy Island and the like - then the role she's known for on Dallas. 

Dr. Carstair's 1869 Love-Root Elixir (1972)

 

(AKA Sticky Fingers) Marsha Jordan appeared in several sexy Westerns including Six Women (1971), Brand of Shame (1968) and this film, long believed to be lost forever.   

Saturday, Sunday and Friday (1979)

 

(Original Title: Sabato, domenica e venerdì) An Italian three-act anthology featuring Edwige Fenech, Barbara Bouchet, and Lino Banfi.

Titillation (1982)

 

Well, I don't think I knew that Angelique Pettyjohn did hardcore.  Learn something new every day. Here she does it all in a porno crime noir.

Passion's Desire (2000)

 

We haven't done an Amy Lindsay film in a while.  This one looks about as generic as they come; let's give it a try.

Keep It Up Downstairs (1976)

 

A British sex comedy set in 1904 around the ribald shenanigans going on in Cockshute Castle. Featuring greats Sue Longhurst and Mary Millington.

Dr. Cureta's Clinic (1987)

 

(Original Title: La clínica del Dr. Cureta) This began as an Argentine comic in the Buenos Aires magazine Humor. The film is a mix of risque gags and commentary on a mercantile medical system (like the one in the US).

Sex Carousel Via Erotica (1968)

 

(Original Title: Sexkarussell Via Erotica) A Dutch film about a writer who's asked to work on an erotic film.  His girlfriend subsequently spends the rest of the film convincing him to do it, and uses the risque stories of people they encounter as inspiration. In this way, it's a very early example (perhaps the earliest?) of a Schulmädchen-Report style film, where a series of rapid-fire erotic tales from a variety of speakers are wrapped around a central premise. 

Married Woman Looking for Single Young Man (1971)

 

(Original Title: Señora necesitada busca joven bien dotado) A Spanish romance starring the oft-naked Lynn Endersson.

Oh Fanny! (1971)

 

(AKA The Memoirs of Fanny Hill) One of the seemingly endless Fanny Hill movies released in the seventies.  This is a porno version of the story featuring the great Sandy Carey.

Sinful (2006)

 

Mundae plays a girl obsessed with having a child, and it drives her to murder.

Expertos en Pinchazos (1979)

 

This was remade ten years later as Veneno que tú me dieras and it wasn't that good. I've been meaning to check out the original which stars the greatest of all Argentinian comedians Porcel and Olmedo.

Trader Hornee (1970)

 

A David F. Friedman production; a group travels through the African jungle to find a missing girl. Featuring lots of naked redheads, corny jokes, gorilla costumes, and levels of political incorrectness heretofore thought unreachable. 

Provincial Sinners (1977)

 

(Original Title: Peccatori di provincia) An Italian comedy about an amoral family conniving to gain the inheritance bequeathed to a nun.

Midnight Ladies (1990)

 

(Original Title: Mujeres de media noche) A bizarre mix of gruesome violence and silly slapstick. In fact, of all the films reviewed on VZ1 thus far, I don't think I've ever seen such an insanely discordant film.  Your silliest Mexican comedy mixed with naked women being brutally murdered. WTF? Just imagine if, in the middle of an episode of "Three's Company" where Jack falls over the coffee table and his face lands in a coconut cream pie he made for a cooking contest... and then the scene cuts to a nude prostitute being dismembered.  That's this movie. 

Bang, I Want You! (1989)

 

I'm not sure I've seen a movie like this before - where the director just says "fuck it" ten minutes into the film, abandons any semblance of a story, and instead just strings a bunch of sexy scenes together.  It's bizarre.  There is a genuine plot setup at the start, then Lorenzo Onorati I guess just becomes bored and gives us: naked pool, sex in an elevator, a shower scene, a naked maid, etc. all seemingly with no connection whatsoever. On the one hand, the scenes are unbelievably erotic, on the other, you quickly pass the point of giving a shit because the "story" has so long ago been abandoned.  I am generally pretty diligent in providing a thorough walkthrough of the film; I'll try to here, but not going to even attempt to outline the story.

Tiffany Jones (1973)

 

Based on the comic, Tiffany Jones is a model who gets wrapped up in international espionage. Mainly notable because Anouska Hempel bought to rights to the film to keep it off the shelves - I suppose because she's naked throughout.

Bad Girls (1981)

 

Michelle Bauer's very first film.  She's almost unrecognizable in this highly successful porno which spawned multiple sequels.  Four models go camping and get abducted by a sadomasochism cult. 

Let's Calm Down and Drink Fresh in Saint-Tropez (1987)

 

(Original Title: On se calme et on boit frais à Saint-Tropez) A brainless and topless comedy from France. Last in Max Pécas' St. Tropez trilogy... well, last Pécas film period.  The screenwriter drowned during production, so I guess it was his last too.  

Mulher Objeto (1981)

 

The more Helena Ramos films I watch, the more I realize what an amazing actress she is - and would like to watch her whole catalog if possible.  In this film, she plays a woman traumatized by her childhood and subsequently unable to enjoy sex.

Takin' It Off (1985)

 

Takin It All Off (1987), the sequel, was amazing. So, it's high time we check out the original where Kitten Natividad must shed three inches off her boobs or find herself out of work.

A Spiral of Mist (1977)

 

(Original Title: Spirale di Nebbia, Una) A whodunit which basically feels like a game of Clue, but with gobs of gratuitous nudity.

A Grande Trepada (1985)

 

A Pornochanchada with a title that basically translates to "The Big Fuck".  The film consists of two stories, both involving lots of Brazilians madly pounding away.  

Salon Kitty (1976)

 

Although there are a millionNazisploitation movies, this seems to earn the most acclaim, and it's what put Tinto Brass on the map.  I suppose it's because it's not only more  sick and twisted than most, but it's filmed with a pretentious artfulness. 

The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String (2003)

 

The Misty Mundae crew take on Tolkien, and it is every bit as awful as you can imagine.

Lisa's Nightmares (1994)

 

From the Cooks, the husband and wife team from Texas that gave us Horrorscope (1994). It was pretty terrible, but this couple has a good number of SOV horror titles to their credit; so, I just had to give another of their super-low-budget flicks a shot. This one involves a series of nightmares experienced by Lisa Cook - apparently all submitted by patrons of their Cemetery Cinema company. While Horrorscope was fairly tame with no nudity, this one basically features Lisa naked from start to finish.

Horrorscope (1994)

 

Super cheap SOV horror anthology by Todd Jason Cook who wrote-directed-acted, etc. a number of these films in the nineties.  These Texas based films would feature his wife Lisa Cook, self proclaimed "scream queen". 

Hot Chili (1985)

 

Four friends get a job at a resort in Mexico.  Girls get naked, nerds get laid, absolutely asinine tomfoolery ensues.

Tortured Obsession (1993)

 

An ultra-low-budget flick from one-time director-writer Kelli Lidell. A psychopathic security guard robs, kills and seeks revenge on hapless nineties girls.

The Château (1971)

 

Women are used and abused at The Château.  No reason whatsoever to watch this except that it stars the great Sandy Carey, so it has to be done- let’s give it a whirl.

Razor in the Flesh (1997)

 

(Original Title: Navalha na Carne) This is a remake of the 1969 film, but this time with husky voiced Vera Fischer, popular actress of film and TV.  

Stalker (2000)

 

(AKA The Seduction of Maxine) Tracy Ryan is a Hollywood diva who receives threatening messages.  She reluctantly hires a bodyguard and things get physical... well, things were already quite physical.  Things get slightly more physical.

The Devil's Men (1976)

 

From Kostas Karagiorgis director of Tango 2001 (1974), starring Peter Cushing, Luan Peters and Donald Pleasance with a Brian Eno score - and it's about a satanic minotaur cult.  So, you'd expect this to be an absolute banger. Well, let's have a look.

Young Girls in Ecstasy (1974)

 

(Original Title: Les petites saintes y touchent) A group of boarding school girls on a field trip to England each tells an erotic adventure they experienced. 

Top Stripper (1982)

 

(Original Title: （本）噂のストリッパー) The story of a seedy back-alley strip club where Gloria works and Yoichi obsesses about her. Writer-Director Yoshimitsu Morita really accentuates the imagery of poverty and the desperation of the poor, without getting too bogged down in misery.

Curse of the Pink Panties (2007)

 

An ultra low budget movie about three groups of girls who enter a video submission contest for a panties company.  A gang of jewel thieves kill each other and their souls enter the panties (!) The girls can't take the panties off and are basically stuck in pairs of possessed underwear.  Yeah, it's bizarre.

The Eroticist (1972)

 

(Original Title:All'onorevole Piacciono Le Donne) A sex comedy from Lucio Fulci featuring Lando Buzzanca, who I consider the best comedic actor of the era.  Also featuring Laura Antonelli, possibly the sexiest actress of the day.

The Andalusian Widow (1977)

 

(Original Title: La Viuda Andaluza) A surrealist Spanish musical making idiotic jabs at religion and tradition - one of the most unwatchable films I've witnessed in a while. Bárbara Rey actually sings and dances (oof) as a widow who movies to the big city, hooks up with a guy named Rampin then flirts and sleeps around with everyone she meets.

Mrs. Stone's Thing (1970)

 

Re-released as The Sensuous Wife, and featuring Edward D. Wood Jr. as a transvestite and Cathy Adams providing lots o' explicit nudity. It's the story of a woman who discovers why her husband is always "all sexed out". He's been going to swingers parties.  Now she wants to join him in order to save their marriage. Sounds fairly typical, right?  Actually one of the oddest films I've seen in a while.

Marital Seduction (1974)

 

(Original Title: Seduzione Coniugale) An Italian drama about a couple whose marriage has gone stale.  Super melancholy, with hardly a word spoken throughout the film; it captures the cold lifeless mood of the marriage, but makes for a sleepy film.

Raptus (1969)

 

An Italian film about a murder which goes through the courtroom drama as well as the psychological evaluation.  Not sure I've seen a film like this which goes so far afield of the central story: it begins as a standard procedural crime drama then takes a right-turn and explores the conditions of two murderous inmates in an asylum. 

How To Make A Dirty Movie (1968)

 

For Ann Perry completists: a doofus husband wanders into a porno set, and has sex with the actress.  His wife finds him in this compromising position, but she's soon misbehaving as well.

Summer Night Fever (1978)

 

A very European teen road trip movie as two guys and a tag-along (Olivia Pascal) make their way to Ibiza, getting laid along the way.

Sukkubus (1989)

 

Set in the breathtaking scenery of the Swiss Alps, three shepherds conjure a female demon. Featuring Pamela Prati as the oft-naked succubus.

Tango 2001 (1974)

 

An extraordinarily twisted and sleazy film from Greece. I can't begin to describe it except to say it's full of groovy music, necrophilia (!), drugs, nudity, and bad seventies fashions. From the director of Death Kiss, Kostas Karagiannis.

Dossier Prostitution (1970)

 

A French documentary about prostitution.   Not much to say in terms of story or action, but Jean-Claude Roy's cinematography is often beautiful and striking. 

Do You Wanna Be Loved? (1975)

 

Rene Bond is the undisputed queen of early seventies sexploitation.  This is one of her later works and is a bit jarring as we're now in the golden age of porn, and it's a totally different vibe than just a few years earlier.  Bond helped pave the way, but really didn't find success once the adult film hit its stride.  I'm not exactly sure what became of her. This film is dated as 1978 in IMDb, but other sources have it at 1975 - I suspect the earlier date is the correct one.

El Tratado de Libre Comercio (1991)

 

Okay, a Mexican comedy named after NAFTA - I have to watch. 

The Erotic Mirror (2002)

 

A mirror has the magical properties of making anyone looking into it become overcome with lust.