Nov 28, 2021

The Dorm That Dripped Blood (1982)


A slasher from a time before they really started sticking fastidiously to the template.  In other words, it's a slasher film, but doesn't have a lot of the tropes we're used to - a creepy mask, a signature weapon, a childhood backstory, etc.  The story involves a group of students cleaning up a dorm (for a move to a new dorm), and they're picked off ten-little-indians style as per usual. 

Beautiful Wrestlers: Down for the Count (1984)


(Original Title: 美少女プロレス 失神10秒前) A batshit insane Japanese movie about college female wrestlers.

The Depraved (1971)


(AKA Diary of a Rape; Original Title: Exponerad) Premiered at Cannes and immediately banned in 27 countries. Christina Lindberg stars in this very artsy story about a girl with an active (and slightly depraved) imagination who gets blackmailed for posing nude.  It's told in a very nonlinear manner, so it's a bit hard to follow.

The Black Room (2017)


Another Rolfe Kanefsky jam - this one about a haunted basement.  Kanefsky can do no wrong in my book; all of his stuff is worth a watch.

Detective Cazanachas (1994)

 Alfonso Zayas plays the titular detective investigating a murder at a resort.  Ultimately, it's really just a vehicle to show off Vanessa Yudic's body, but that's not such a bad thing.

Student Services (2010)


(Original title: Mes chères études) A French film about a girl who can't afford to eat let alone college tuition.  So, she becomes a prostitute.

Bragas Calientes (1983)


A Spanish sleaze-fest about a studly guy whose job it is to lure hot girls at a discoteque to a millionaire's mansion for wild orgies.  He recruits a few ladies, but falls in love with one of them.  So, he tries to get her out, but is repeatedly foiled by the millionaire's goons. But do the girls even want to leave?

Miranda (1985)


A big fan of Serena Grandi, so this is a must-see; and, as always, leave it to Tinto Brass to get his actresses to get as explicit as possible. The story involves a WWII widow who refuses to pledge herself to another man, but has no reservations about screwing every guy in the Po Valley.

Insurance Queen : Her Business Secrets (2017)


(Original Title: 여자 보험왕 : 그녀의 영업비밀 ) A Korean sexploitation film about a successful "insurance queen" and her co-worker who wants to learn the secrets of her success. 

Work Makes Me Laugh (1998)


(Original Title: El trabajo me da risa) Mexican sex comedy about misbehavior at an office space. 

Nov 26, 2021

Naked Horror (1995)


A security guard at a horror convention watches scream queens break into the building after hours.  Then he has dreams of turning into a monster and being visited by scream queens who strip for him.

Pale Blood (1990)


For whatever reason, there were a ton of vampire movies in the nineties with a pop-goth vibe, trying to look uber-cool and detached, etc. even prior to Interview with a Vampire.  Movies like Gotham and the Embrace the Darkness and Witchcraft series took that mojo and played it to death.  Here we just have more of the same.

Portrait of a Serial Rapist (1994)


(Original Title: Chung on sat luk: Tuen Man sik moh; 香港奇案之屯門色魔) Based on the true story of Lam Kwok-wai, a serial killer/rapist who plagued Hong Kong in the early nineties.

Bimbo Bowlers from Buffalo (1989)


The Bimbo Bowlers from Buffalo are set to compete against the Muffs.  Before they do, they'll have a bunch of sex.  And that is a more-than-generous description of this plot.

Muertes Violentas (1990)


From Mexico: Three tales of violence - two about criminal acts gone wrong, and one about zombies.  

And Now José? - Sex Torture (1979)


(Original Title: E Agora José? - Tortura do Sexo) An unlucky guy is imprisoned and tortured for illegal political activity.  To corroborate his story, three women are brought in, and they are also abused.

Monamour (2005)


A Tinto Brass film about an unsatisfied nymphomaniac wife, starring Anna Jimskaia who provides gobs of graphic sex and nudity.

Nov 24, 2021

The Big Bet (1986)


Your standard eighties teen sex comedy: virgin guy who fantasizes all the time falls for the hot new girl at school. 

The Perils of Mandy (1980)


The adventures of schoolgirl Mandy and her two friends Gloria and Natasha.  Mandy gets an opportunity to become an actress, but the headmaster and a jealous actress named Joan work together to stop her.

Chiles Rellenos Pa' Wilson (1994)


It's been a while since we've dona a Mexican comedy; there's a million of them, and I nearly love them all.  This one features Charly Valentino who had some good flicks back in the eighties. Here, he's a grocer who can't seem to make headway with a woman who is a good pair, but she has hang ups she has to work through (which liquor seems to help with).  There's also the typical gay stereotype and teen forbidden love element.

The Invisible Maniac (1990)


In The Invisible Maniac, physics teacher, Mr. Dornwinkle, uses his power to molest and murder his summer school students. The film has become infamous for leading to the suicide of Savannah.  From Wikipedia:
Former boyfriend Billy Sheehan recounted how Wilsey was utterly humiliated during the film's premiere. Whenever the audience would laugh at one of her lines she could not differentiate whether they were laughing at her personally or the character. The experience forever marred Wilsey on a personal level....

Blonde on a Bum Trip (1968)


A nerdy girl is peer pressured into cooking up some LSD in the chemistry lab.  Bad things happen.

Lady Libertine (1984)


I was pretty disturbed when Jennifer Inch, the girl from Anne of Green Gables, gets topless in Screwballs (1983)… I commented that it was like that scene in S.O.B. where Julie Andrews shows her boobs – Mary Poppins shouldn’t be doing such a thing.  To which, I was told that if I was troubled by Screwballs (and State Park) that I really am in for it with Lady Libertine. And if that weren't reason enough to watch, Sophie Favier sued to block the release of this movie on DVD. So, here we are - let's press play.

Hardbodies 2 (1986)


Basically no relation to the first film, Hardbodies 2 follows the bumbling, borderline mentally handicapped adventures of a film crew in Greece.

Diana, Eva: Two Strange Women (1981)


A Brazilian film in two parts: (1) Eve, the first of all women; and (2) Diana, the Roman goddess of hunting. Highly erotic, but also genuinely thrilling and head-trippy mysteries in the vein of a Twilight Zone episodes.

Nov 22, 2021

Fruit Is Swelling (1997)


(Original Title: 蜜桃成熟時, Mat to sing suk) An eight year old girl wishes on a magic tree that she can grow up and find out about sex.  Her and her friend are made ten years older overnight.  She and her swimming coach find romance... which is not the only thing in this movie that's problematic.

Pierino Medico della S.A.U.B. (1981)


Alvaro Vitali is insufferable as a side character - how are we going to handle him in a lead role? 

Killer Workout (1986)


I say this with all seriousness - this film ranks as one of my favorite movie-going experiences.  Star Wars in 1977 and Pulp Fiction in 1994 were great, but this may top them both. Admittedly, I didn't see this in '86, but rather at an Alamo Drafthouse many years later.  But the crowd was so onboard with what this film was delivering, it was like watching The Room, but more spontaneous.  I was exhausted from laughing by the time credits rolled.  It wasn't a mocking patronizing laugh; we were all just enjoying the bad movie experience, so thankful that films like this exist... and sadly, filmmakers are so self-aware these days, I'm not even sure it's possible to make a movie this bad without tongue-in cheek.  But I digress.

Giulia (1999)


Tinto Brass delivers an ultra-erotic tale of a girl who's denied a trip to Rome (say it ain't so!) and so rebels by performing in a live sex show. Anna Bielska delivers a helluva performance.

Nov 21, 2021

House of 1000 Pleasures (1972)


(Original Title: Finalmente le mille e una notte) A lavish Italian production of an erotic take on the Arabian Nights.

Mari-Cookie and the Killer Tarantula (1998)


Jesús Franco and Lina Romay, both well past their prime, work with Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley at about the same time (with almost the same cast) as Lust for Frankenstein.  A little personal anecdote about this film... it was the the very first Netflix DVD I ever ordered - maybe around '00 or a little later. I signed up for the plan where you'd get three discs at a time, so I received this, The Case of the Bloody Iris (1972), and American Movie (1999).  I ended up loving the other two, and hating Mari-Cookie so bad that I left a scathing review on the Netflix website. Let's see if it improves upon a second viewing, twenty years later.

Lust for Frankenstein (1998)


Jesús Franco and Lina Romay, both well past their prime, present a Frankenstein movie with Michelle Bauer as the creature.

Nov 20, 2021

American Nightmare (1983)


The early eighties/late seventies had a ton of movies highlighting the bleakness of NYC in terms of crime.  We've all seen George C. Scott combing through the seedy streets looking for his little girl in the sex trade.  Well, here we have the same thing, except the guy is looking for his sister.

Casey the Co-Ed (2004)


An interesting entry in the long history of sexploitation.  This was actually released on the Sony PlayStation Portable (PSP) game system. It was on the UMD (Universal Media Disc) format, a discontinued optical disc by Sony for use on their PSP handheld platform.

Kandyland (1988)


Kim Evenson plays a poor girl with a grease monkey boyfriend.  She's dazzled by the glamour of a strip club and finds she's good at it.  But her dream job isn't all it's cracked up to be as there are lots o' problems under the surface at Kandyland.

Nov 19, 2021

Scream Queen Hot Tub Party (1991)


Five scream queens go the home of a count for a "seminar on how to make a good horror film". 

The Countess Died of Laughter (1973)


(Original Title: Frau Wirtins tolle Töchterlein) Final film in the "Frau" series, a German-Italian collaboration featuring hottie hall-o-famers Sonja Jeannine, Femi Benussi, and Alena Penz.

Dorm of the Dead (2006)


A super cheap zombie flick about a professor who brings back zombie blood from Haiti which contaminates the student population.

Nov 18, 2021

Voices from Beyond (1994)


Lucio Fulci mystery about the spirit of a murdered man who speaks to his daughter from the grave to find his killer.

Murder on the Telephone (1994)


A Bruno Mattei jam about Cagney & Lacey going undercover at a sex hotline in order to catch a killer who wears a clown mask.

The Virus of Power (1988)


(Original Title: El Virus del Poder) Two horny police cadets accidentally unleash a plague upon Mexico. A gang of punks finds themselves as the superspreaders.

Nov 17, 2021

Scarlet Diva (2000)


Written, directed and starring Asia Argento.  A fairly infamous movie as it features a scene inspired by Asia's real-life encounter with Harvey Weinstein.  Add to that, Asia supposedly performs unsimulated sex in the film.  So it's got that going for it.

In Search of... the Perfect '10' (1986)


You might wonder why there are three dots before "the Perfect 10".  There was a popular show hosted by Leonard Nimoy called "In Search of..." which everyone back in 1986 would remember and get the reference. Surprisingly, this was made by Gregory Dark - not his sort of film. I remember seeing this VHS box all the time at the video store, but for whatever reason, never rented it.  There's actually a "story" here: a guy takes his Mam-O-Reader around Hollywood trying to scientifically find the perfect ten.  Along the way, we meet Gail Thackray, Michelle Bauer and Krista Lane.

Wow, It's Cindy (1971)


Phyllis Stengel plays Cindy who comes to stay in LA with her call-girl friend Uschi Digard.  The girls do drugs, play nude darts and have sex with Colonel Sanders.

Nov 16, 2021

Delta Delta Die! (2003)


We've covered Auntie Lee's Meat Pies (1992), Blood Diner (1987),Video Violence 2 (1987) and Microwave Massacre (1983); so, let's keep the dark comedy cannibal movie training rolling with cannibal sorority girls.

Video Violence 2 (1988)


The sequel to Video Violence takes a different approach to the first which was played fairly straight.  This goes for a campy self-aware vibe, with the story revolving around the two snuff filmmakers, Eli and Howard, from the first film.

Video Violence (1987)


I love scenes that take place in video stores.  It's not only hyper-nostalgic, I just enjoy trying to pick out various titles on the shelves. I could just watch a movie where they just pan across 1980s video store shelves and I'd be happy. Well, the two Video Violence movies both take place almost entirely at a video store, so already I'm ready to press play...

Nov 13, 2021

Bouncin' in the U.S.A. (1986)


Very eighties "bounce" movie featuring the usual suspects: Candy Samples, Pat Wynn, etc.  There's a "plot" in here somewhere, but it's mostly just big hair and even bigger boobs.

Phantom Love (2001)


Michelle von Flotow is a writer who can't seem to come up with an original story.  So, she stays at in inn in Florence, Italy and is inspired by the diary of a 19th century socialite played by Griffin Drew. The title (and especially the alternate title, To Love a Ghost) indicates there will be some ghost lovin', but no ghosts to be found in this movie.

Grimm's Fairy Tales for Adults (1969)


(Original Title: Grimms Märchen von lüsternen Pärchen) The erotic fairy tale was a thing back in the day. See: Biancaneve & Co. (1982), Stories Our Nannies Didn't Tell (1979), Cinderella (1977), Sinderella and the Golden Bra (1964), etc. This one from Germany really seems to capture the slightly nightmarish quality that is the true Grimm's fairy tale.