Jul 24, 2021

Italian Omelette (1978)


(Original Titles: Tortilla a la Italiana, Cugine mie, My Cousins) A sleazy romp featuring Franca Gonella which, when calculated by percentage of frames, may have more nudity than any Italian sex comedy of the seventies.

Three sisters, Irene (Ely Galleani), Silvia (Christiana Borghi) and Mara (Franca Gonella), have been sent from Rome to Padua to stay with their aunt and uncle.

Uncle Federico (Carlo Sposito) and Aunt Gaia (Nieves Navarro) are very conservative - unprepared to board these three wild siblings.

Aunt Gaia seems particularly repressed.

The sisters are shown to their room.

Irene unpacks.

Evidently these girls are very comfortable just prancing around naked.

Mara walks into the living room barely dressed.

Uncle Federico is stunned.  He spends nearly all his screen time with this expression.

Ottavio Bordignon (Renato Pinciroli) is also alarmed.

Silvia enters the room next with her boobs out.

Again, the family is alarmed at the lack of modesty from these girls.

The sisters fix up their room, hanging posters.

Silvia is straight-up butt naked.  But then, these sisters literally spend the rest of the film nude, so I guess no big deal.

Aunt Gaia is a religious woman; she can't handle this.

Young men studying to be priests catch sight of the girls across the way...

The girls are in the room half naked; or in Silvia's case, fully naked.

Irene takes a shower and Silvia enters.

Irene answers the door and is shocked to find it's two priests.

She drops her towel and runs naked back to her room.

The maid Antonietta (Paola Maiolini) is busy dusting the chandelier. 

Irene accidentally knocks the maid off her ladder.  She falls to the floor with her legs spread - pointing directly at the clergymen. 

To make things more awkward, Silvia hears the racket and comes out nude.

After this humiliating incident, Uncle Federico gives the sisters a stern lecture.

The sisters decide to give Antonietta a makeover. 

She's so dowdy and plain; time to sex things up.

That evening, the sisters spy on Antonietta through a keyhole...

As planned, Antonietta is busy seducing old Ottavio.

His heart can hardly handle it.

No luck getting Ottavio a heart attack.  The sisters reconvene to try another plan.

They hook wires up to give Ottavio a jolt as he slobbers over Antonietta.

Antonietta screams bloody murder as Ottavio's heart finally gives out.

Federico and Gaia get quite an eyeful.

Irene overhears Uncle Federico on the phone.  He's planning on sending the girls to boarding school.  This simply won't do!

Irene informs the others of the terrible news.

Like I said - the nudity in this film is fucking insane.

The arrival of Federico and Gaia's son Anselmo (Carlo Marini).

Mara puts her Daisy Dukes right in his face.

Anselmo is a good boy; not sure what to make of his three cousins.

The Daisy Dukes causes such a distraction in their crocheting that it nearly unraveled all of Aunt Gaia's dress!

Silvia gets Anselmo to take her picture with her boobs out.

Soon, Anselmo is snapping pictures of all three of his cousins including Antonietta.

Irene (Ely Galleani)

Antonietta (Paola Maiolini)

Anselmo can't take it any longer.

He has to be carried to the hospital with a raging hard-on.

Federico is also hospitalized thanks to his nieces' performance at a school play.

With Federico in the hospital, Gaia ends up getting hit on by a young stud.

She can't do it, and makes an escape.

She runs into her three nieces skinny dipping.

They throw her in the pool.

They're a bit surprised to find Gaia has said 'fuck it' and has sex with the stud in the pool.

Finally, enough is enough and the girls are sent to the boarding school. THE END

Holy shit.  I have to hand it to Marcello Avallone and the four actresses.  They basically said, let's just have nudity in every single fucking scene.  Like, what's the point in having a scene without nudity? Obviously, the story is woefully bad, but goddamn, kudos for setting a record for most gratuitous nudity in an Italian sex comedy ever. 

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