Dec 20, 2024

Witchcraft XII: In the Lair of the Serpent (2002)



A sinister entity uses strippers to lure men to their death. Spanner once again helps solve the case using his warlock powers - and we find he can shoot lightning now.









































CHARACTERS
RATING: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆ 4/10

REVIEW: [06/09/21] The series had an earnest yet campy vibe; all that mojo is gone. You're left with a flat, lifeless episode. Further faults beyond its dull tone: It doesn't pick up from the other films, so the serial nature seems to be gone. All that remains is Spanner who isn't the same character at all. Also, the other films had elements that were over-the-top fun: zombie nuns, topless witch covens, satanic magicians, and Debra K. Beatty spread eagle in a bathtub (see Part 6). I miss those days; although, Janet Tracy Keijser's shower scene here wasn't too shabby. So, should we bother pressing onward? Let's not forget how awful Part 4 was, but it rebounded. There's still hope.

SECOND SPIN: [12/19/24] Yep. It may not be the worst Witchcraft movie so far, but it's the most lifeless. Janet Tracy Keijser saves this from being an absolute waste of time. Another problem is that most of the sleaze comes Malleus' women having sex with their victims - and most of these ladies are not the best looking and the sex scenes are filmed poorly in bad lighting. So, yeah not much to like here beyond Keijser who seemed way too good for it. Definitely could have used Beaton as Detective Lutz.... and instead we got a balding frumpy guy.  And that about sums it up.


SYNOPSIS

A guy goes to a strip club and is tempted by a mysterious girl named Tisa (Monika Wild). Tisa lures Jeff Lawton (Bruce Blauer) down a dark alleyway. Jeff is blindfolded and they have sex. Then, Tisa swaps places with a man in a black robe who murders him. Jeff's sister Cindy Lawton (Janet Tracy Keijser) witnesses the crime. Detective Tom Greaves (Garrett Clancy) is assigned the case. [He's a sad, sad replacement for the sexy Detective Lutz. Whose idea was this to replace a buxom detective who wears short dresses with pronounced cleavage with a frumpy balding dud.] Will Spanner (Chip James) the reluctant warlock has dinner with Cindy. [James is the eighth actor to play this character. He's like a James Bond or Doctor Who, I suppose.] Spanner meets with frumpy Tom to discuss the case.

A girl from the club named Kyra (Zenova Braeden) lures another guy down the alley of death. A creature that can shoot red lightning out of his eyes fries the poor schlep. Cindy tosses and turns in bed, haunted by memories of her dead brother Jeff. Cindy hears a strange noise and approaches with a baseball bat. She hits the intruder, but it's just Spanner. (What did he expect just creeping into her house like that?) Spanner and Cindy have sex. Tom investigates the body of the victim lured by Kyra. Tom requests the chief allow him to use the services of Spanner who has supernatural powers. The stereotypically frustrated chief begrudging lets him. Cindy notices a strange figure outside her home. It's the mysterious figure who killed Jeff and the other dude with his red lightning. Turns out this is a Malleus, a reptilian priest of a 16th Century cult. Cindy takes a shower. Spanner steps in.

Lia (Tricia Berdot) is another one of Malleus' deadly ladies. She's lured yet another future-victim to the backroom. They have sex. After sex, Lia opens the door and Malleus is standing on the other side. Spanner and Tom corner Tisa who attacks with a stick. Tom shoots her dead. What the hell - ? She was just wielding a stick for chrissakes. Seems like excessive force to me. Tom equips Spanner with a wire to wear into the club. Spanner's plan is to hook up with one of the deadly ladies. Rana (Savvy Brown) - Rana takes Spanner to a back room. They have sex. But Spanner jets out of there before he can be killed by Malleus. Spanner does battle with Malleus using his lightning powers... which he's never used in all of the previous films. It's like he's Emperor Palpatine or something. Red lightning versus blue lightning.

Spanner escapes and returns to Cindy who spends the majority of her screen time wondering what the hell is going on. Later, Cindy is abducted. So, Spanner allows himself to be lured to the cult's HQ by Kyra. Lia and Rana stand by an altar inscribed with the cult's snake symbol. When Spanner asks to see Cindy, the two ladies laugh maniacally. [Easily the funniest moment in the movie as they really don't know how to do a proper evil laugh.] Cindy is brought out. It's revealed that this was all a ploy to get Spanner here so Malleus can use him as a sacrifice. Malleus (Joe Myles). Spanner uses Kyra as a hostage to exchange for Cindy. Malleus reveals how little he regards his female minions by stabbing Kyra. It's Emperor Palpatine time again. Spanner wins. Malleus is defeated. Spanner and Cindy embrace. THE END

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