Nude on the Moon (1961)

Doris Wishman took the nudist genre to the next level, setting this nudist camp on the motherfucking moon.

 A super cheesy lounge song plays in its entirety.  Supposedly, the music was arranged by Doc Severinsen.

 This was filmed in South Florida, and I just love this shot. The old cars, the typical FL sky, the phone booth.  Glorious.

 Professor Nichols (William Mayer) and his secretary Cathy (Marietta)

  ... 

 Dr. Jeff Huntley (Lester Brown) has just inherited a ton of money and he wants to use it to fund a mission to the moon.

 Cathy secretly longs for Jeff, but he doesn't give her the time of day.

 For six months, Nichols and Jeff slave in the laboratory, developing the technology to get them to the moon.

Six months pass, and the two scientists drive to the launch site. They pass a theater playing Hideout in the Sun, a Doris Wishman movie!

 Lift off!

 They say goodbye to Mother Earth.

 The moon landing.

 Turns out, the moon looks a lot like Coral Gables. 

 Jeff and Nichols find a civilization of topless extraterrestrials. 

Nichols is captured by Pat Reilly who uses her wand to subdue him.

 She leads him down into a well.

 Then, she cranks the door shut.

 Other moon maidens - Joyce M. Geary 

 Shelby Livingston 

 Their leader, the Moon Queen (Marietta)

Three moon maidens (Lacey Kelly  Joyce M. Geary and Shelby Livingston) notify their queen of the arrival of the astronauts.  None of them speak, but rather use their antennae for telepathic communication.

 A council is held to determine what to do with the visitors.

 This hottie (? actress) doesn't trust the astronauts and wants to keep them captive.

The queen overrides the consensus and trusts the visitors.  She commands they be set free.

Pat Reilly sets the astronauts loose.

Jeff gets to know the Moon Queen.

The inquisitive moon girls inspect Nichols.

After a while the novelty of the visitors wears off, and the moon inhabitants carry on as normal.  They toss a ball around.

Wish we could identify this actress.  

The guys take photographs saying stupid shit like, "The vapor rising from her bath.  I wonder what causes it.  Get a picture." What the hell do you think is causing it? I thought they were scientists.

 Pat Reilly takes a nap.

 Shelby Livingston mocks Nichols' mustache

 Pat Reilly 

 Joyce M. Geary does a bizarre spastic dance.

 Pat Reilly dances too, but thankfully not so spastic.

Jeff regretfully says goodbye to the Moon Queen.

 He wants to take her with him, but Nichols won't allow it.

 He gives her some candy before leaving.

Back on earth, they realize they left their camera on the moon!  So, no pictures, and so their next mission won't be funded.  What a colossal fuck up!

The secretary, Cathy (Marietta) enters the room looking mopey.

 Jeff realizes she looks just like the Moon Queen and falls in love.

How can you not love this movie?  It's like Gilligan's Island but with topless aliens!  Doris Wishman rules.  Amazing that she can make a movie like this and turn around and make Love Toy (1971) a decade later.

★★★★★★★☆☆☆