Dec 20, 2024

Cash on Delivery (1992)


(Original Title: Yu ya gong wu) A romantic comedy from Hong Kong - which sort of turns into a disturbing drama in the last quarter. Starring the mega hottie Veronica Yip.




















































CHARACTERS
RATING: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆ 7/10

REVIEW: [05/23/20] Well, this wasn't nearly as sleazy as we generally expect from films for VZ1. It was more or less a PG rated romantic comedy, minus a few glimpses of boobs on a boat. But it had a streak of weirdness that made things interesting. Who could have it seen it coming that a film which is nothing but laughs and silliness for two-thirds of the runtime, would suddenly turn into a fully dramatic and disturbing Fatal Attraction? I could certainly have done without the Valentino vibrator scene, but not too many other complaints. Veronica Yip was smoking hot as always, and the characters of both Sandy and Simon are extremely likable. [6/10]

SECOND SPIN: [12/20/24] I've been wanting to go back to this for a while. For some reason I kept thinking about it long afterwards. Not that it was anything moving or exceptional, but there were certain things about it that I really liked. First, the early nineties style - the clothes, the hair - was outstanding. You won't find a better example - so overdone that it almost feels like a movie made today and they tried to capture '92 and went overboard (if that makes sense). Veronica Yip is a fox, and the miniskirts she wears are dynamite. But beyond the superfluous stuff, the story is quite fun and you grow to like Sandy and Simon. So, yeah, it's not particularly raunchy, but that's okay sometimes... not often mind you, but sometimes.


SYNOPSIS

Sandy Koh (Sandra Kwan Yue Ng) is an overworked, underappreciated prosecutor. The paralegals decide Sandy needs to live a little - get out and have some fun for once. Simon Yip (Simon Yam) is a studly, charismatic seller of high-dollar antiques. He's currently working with Mrs. Chan (Hung Chun). [Note: I'm impressed with Yam - this is such a different movie and character than the disturbing Dr. Lam (1992)] In the limo, Mrs. Chan throws herself at Simon, but he turns her down. Bidding on a priceless antique medallion, Simon loses the bid to the ultra-wealthy Mrs. Lam (Veronica Yip). The paralegals have a great time and hook up with guys.... but Sandy has a terrible time and feels homely and alone. Valentino (Michael Man-Kin Chow) is one of the most annoying and pointless characters to ever appear onscreen. He's a bigshot actor and friend of Simon's. Valentino is supposed to be comic relief, but I found him insufferable. Valentino's agent sends over a couple of girls. He whips out a vibrator from his box of sex toys. The ladies basically beat him up. When they try to shove a vibrator up his ass, Valentino turns the tables and starts beating the shit out of the two ladies. The cops are called, and Valentino is arrested.

Simon, serving as a witness for Valentino, is questioned by Sandy. Simon more-or-less humiliates Sandy and wins the case for Valentino. He finds Sandy in a bar later, drinking away her problems. Sandy passes out drunk, and Simon finds her in the parking lot. Simon takes her home. This is what's on her wall. Simon finds it amusing. He lays her on her bed. Simon is a gentleman and doesn't take advantage of Sandy. When they meet again later, they begin to feel a bond and attraction for one another. But there's another woman who wants a piece of Simon. That's Mrs. Lam (Veronica Yip), who we met at the auction. Lam actually wants Simon to be her sperm donor as her husband is infertile. Afterwards, she lures him to her car. She dangles the priceless medallion as a reward for his semen donation. He agrees, and they go out on her yacht and bang repeatedly. Over and over they bang - with masks on, with masks off, below deck, above deck, over and over. They keep track on the number of times using the game Master Mind. They go until they're exhausted. And then Mrs. Lam will get him ready for another round.

Afterwards, Simon is back with Sandy. Mrs. Lam is great for a bang (and a rich reward), but his heart lies with Sandy. Suddenly, the film gets very serious. Mrs. Lam's husband doesn't approve of her behavior, and they get in a violent fight. Suddenly things get dark - and they're going to get even darker. Simon goes to dinner with Mrs. Lam and she loses her mind. She tears open her blouse in front of everyone at the restaurant. She threatens to kill herself. When Simon arrives home he finds Mrs. Lam has destroyed the place and strung up a goose! This has turned into Fatal Attraction. Mrs. Lam has gone completely out of her mind, covering herself with watches. When her husband comes in, it turns into a gun battle. Mr. Lam dies and Simon is charged with the murder.

In court, Mrs. Lam, wearing a micro-miniskirt, gives an emotional testimony and accusing Simon. All lies. She's so convincing and dramatic, she even faints. It's not looking good for Simon. The gallery gasps. Simon is definitely screwed. Sandy will serve as Simon's counsel. Mrs. Lam watches as Simon gives his testimony, with Sandy as the prosecutor. The perfect plan. Simon kisses Sandy - knowing this will enrage the psychotic Mrs. Lam.... Mrs. Lam runs for the gun sitting on the desk as evidence. She points it at them and pulls the trigger, but it isn't loaded. Simon is immediately shown to be innocent and Mrs. Lam the psychotic bitch she really is. She's pulled out of the courtroom screaming. After Mrs. Lam is dragged away, we're left with Simon and Sandy who end up together - happily ever after.

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