Dec 18, 2024

Witchcraft VIII: Salem's Ghost (1996)



This episode was actually filmed before part 7, and released simply as Salem's Ghost. It did so poorly and sucked so bad, they re-released as a Witchcraft sequel. It isn't a good sign to be sure, but let's have a look nonetheless.























CHARACTERS
RATING: ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆ 4/10

REVIEW: [07/12/19] Totally forgettable garbage - with nothing to offer except a couple quick glimpses of boobs. The Witchcraft series subsequently went back to their same format with subsequent sequels, pretending this sorry mess never happened. [2/10]

SECOND SPIN: [12/18/24] While not a good move, two stars was a bit harsh. There's a lot of so-bad-it's-good cheese here, and a healthy amount of boobs; I had a much better time watching it the second time around. I imagine if Tane McClure had been in this film instead of Anthoni Stewart it would have been a lot better; although Stewart's showed her breasts and wasn't half bad (if you mute her voice).


SYNOPSIS

Sonny (Lee Grober) and his wife Mary Ann (Kim Kopf) admire their new house - it's an old mansion and fixer-upper. Sonny is a professor at the local university, and Mary Ann just stays at home and looks hot. [Terrible sex scene. If you're wondering why they look so filthy, they attempted the 9 1/2 Weeks food erotica thing - but it just ends up looking like they're smearing poop on each other.] Their neighbors pay a visit - plumber Mitch (David Weills) and his bubbly airhead wife Gayle (Anthoni Stewart). [The producers hated the voice of Anthoni Stewart - and I completely understand. It's not only high pitched, but she has a weird inflection. Tane McClure was supposed to play this part, but left when she got a higher paying gig.]

Mitch does a free plumbing inspection on their house, and discovers some strange shit in the basement. A red light coming from beyond the wall seems to possess him. Mitch and Gayle are supposed to be comically stupid and horny. Gayle takes off her nurse's outfit and they have sex. Sonny and Mary Ann get playful in bed. Sonny has a strange nightmare where he's in a bloody bathtub. Kinda sorta scary. Mary Ann takes a bath. She hears a noise and gets startled briefly. A local Presbyterian minister named McArthur (Tom Overmyer) helps them rid their home of evil spirits. Sonny has another weird dream where his wife is being seduced by a warlock from the 1600's (Jack van Landingham) who was burned at the Salem witch trials.

Cathy (Mai-Lis Holmes) is one of Sonny's students and she has a crush on him. She pays a visit to her teacher and they have sex. [Mai-Lis Holmes was actually in the previous film, Witchcraft 7. She played Sally.] Cathy turns around and is met with this face. Supposed to be scary - but is actually hilarious. They have a seance to summon the warlock (probably a bad idea). Shit hits the fan at this point, with Mitch going insane and peeling his face off, and the warlock doing his lame shtick. McArthur gets stabbed to death, but Sonny is ultimately able to destroy the Chris Angel warlock. During this time, Mary Ann and Gayle aren't given much to do except stand around and look worried. THE END

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