Three-Way Weekend (1979)

Featuring a stalking pervert in a gorilla mask, honeymooners joined at the groin, drug abuse, gratuitous boobs, casual racism, and a sadistic park ranger. What are we waiting for?...

CHARACTERS

• Mindy (Jody Lee Olhava) hiker
• Veronica (Blake Parrish) hiker
• Lester (Richard Blye) army veteran
• Kim (Karen Stride) Korean ex-prostitute
• Howard Creep (Trey Wilson) guy in gorilla mask
• park ranger (Gerry Zanitsch)

RATING: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ 6/10

REVIEW: [5/27/19] I actually really enjoyed this silly mess. It's so full of frantic zaniness, you can't help but be swept away by the madness. The late seventies, early eighties had so many cocaine fueled comedies like this - just hyper-energetic nonsensical mayhem (ex. Get Crazy, DC Cab). The film featured tons of boobs, an epic striptease, and enough curiosities to keep me entertained from start to finish. Definitely worthy of a high-res release. I will be on the lookout. [7/10]

SECOND SPIN: [12/22/24] I don't if I was quite as swept away by the zaniness as the first viewing. I still had a lot of fun, and I can appreciate its madcap energy, but it didn't have quite the same mojo on the second spin. Blake Parrish's striptease, in contrast, gets better each time.

SYNOPSIS

Mindy (Jody Lee Olhava) and Veronica (Blake Parrish) are a couple of hikers out to camp in the woods and enjoy the great outdoors. The girls take their tops off and take pictures of each other. [Actress Jody Lee Olhava didn't have much success as an actress, but she did work a lot with SAG and serve as an acting coach (and elementary school teacher). She is the sister of Brad Pitt's agent. Also out in the woods is the insane and ruthless park ranger (Gerry Zanitsch).] Even worse, we have a pervert in a gorilla mask called "Howard Creep" (Trey Wilson) who's stalking and spying on the girls with binoculars. [It blows my mind that this is Trey Wilson, the guy that played Skip in Bull Durham and Nathan Arizona Sr. in Raising Arizona.] As it turns out, Mindy and Veronica are bisexuals. But their fun is soon interrupted... The girls spot the gorilla masked pervert, but the ranger arrives on the scene before things get out of hand. As Veronica and Mindy roast hot dogs, Howard Creep creeps in the background aroused by the spectacle. [I don't know about you, but I'd be pretty spooked by a masked pervert lurking in the shadows. But the girls find it rather humorous.] They luck upon an empty cabin and make themselves at home. That night, Howard Creep sneaks into the cabin and chloroforms Veronica and carries her away into the woods. The next day, Mindy and the ranger try to find Veronica.

A couple of honeymooners arrive at the cabin - an ex-army guy named Lester (Richard Blye) and Kim, a Korean ex-prostitute (Karen Stride). Though married, Lester still has to pay his Asian bride. [You may recognize actress Karen Stride as one of the Vampire Hookers. Note that IMDb incorrectly applies the actress' name to Veronica. Also note that she appears to be wearing the exact same sheer nightie as was in Vampire Hookers!] Meanwhile, things aren't looking so good for Veronica. She's tied to a tree and being groped by Howard. (Note that we have another Vampire Hookers connection via Howard - Trey Wilson - who also starred in that movie.) Back at the cabin, the newlyweds are busy consummating their marriage. Thinking they are the ones who abducted Veronica, Mindy sneaks up behind them wielding a guitar case. She wacks them over the head, knocking Kim out cold. She finally wakes up - only to find that Lester is stuck inside her and can't pull out! Running out of ways to "shrink" the GI, they decide to just light up a big fat joint. The trio brings the party to the shower. Take note, Kim delivers all her lines in a stereotypical manner that would be considered wildly racist today. For example: "Kim go long time. Pretty soon need ten dollars more." The shower is interrupted when Creepy Howard bursts in, followed by Veronica. Lester and Kim, still connected, make a break for it - and take off in his car. Note that the music basically narrates the action; the song being played here actually describes his dick being stuck. Even weirder, is the fact that this bizarre music is by Trey Wilson - Nathan Arizona Sr. himself! Lester is finally able to get her disconnected by throwing some money. She lunges to grab it and there is a loud popping sound.

Back at the cabin, the girls have managed to pin down Howard. As it turns out, he's kind of a likable guy. Howard explains that he can't get it up, and his erectile dysfunction has caused him to become a stalking pervert. Veronica says she has a cure for what ails him. She turns on some music and delivers an amazing striptease. [I've got to say, Blake Parrish, in her only acting credit, performs one of the craziest, solid gold stripteases I've seen on film.] Mindy and Howard's reaction is not far from my own. Wow. Veronica ends it in spectacular fashion. Howard is cured! When Howard's towel is dropped, Mindy and Veronica get a look at his junk, and are highly impressed. Just then, a man wearing a Nixon mask storms into the cabin, and chases them into the woods. We find that the man in the Nixon mask is actually the park ranger. Fortunately, a farmer is there to save them. THE END