Steambath (1973)

Steambath was first a 1970 Off Broadway play by Bruce Jay Friedman, then it became a TV movie in '73.  Only 24 PBS affiliates played it because of its racy content, featuring brief nudity from Valerie Perrine. To those who got a chance to see it, it would not be soon forgotten.  This sort of content wasn't supposed to be on American TV.  Yet it was.  Let's have a brief look at this unique TV movie...

Tandy (Bill Bixby, pre Incredible Hulk) arrives at a steambath and strikes up a conversation with curmudgeon played by Stephen Elliott.

 We're introduced to a couple flamboyant gay men who sing and dance. 

Tandy is next introduced to the bubbly Meredith (Valerie Perrine). 

Meredith suddenly disrobes and takes a shower right in front of Tandy and the rest of the male occupants of the steam bath.

Dear lord this was a lot to handle for pre-pubescent boys back in the seventies.  A female backside simply wasn't seen on American television.  HBO wasn't even around yet.

Valerie Perrine certainly wasn't shy about onscreen exposure.  The previous year she posed for Playboy, and in the years following Steambath she'd appear nude in Lenny and Slaughterhouse V. 

The entire movie takes place in this one location.  As you might imagine from an Off Broadway adaptation, it's a lot of talking.... a lot of talking.   For the first twenty minutes the conversations seem totally pointless.  The only thing that keeps you engaged is the witty dialog and dry humor.

It's a bit surreal at times.  A Wall Street guy (Kenneth Mars) shows up with a Dow Jones display.  What exactly is going on here?

This is God.  He's a Puerto Rican bath house attendant played by  Jose Perez.  Hector Elizondo played the role on Broadway. 

Evidently, this is the afterlife.  All the occupants of the steambath are recently deceased.

The attendant/God works with a primitive R2-D2 contraption, which causes all sorts of tragedy and random drama back on earth.

Tandy doesn't believe he's God, so the Puerto Rican proves it... by drinking a bunch of cocktails.

Then he moves on to a giant sized cocktail.  WTF?

At one point Meredith wipes her face with her towel revealing her boob.  Again - this was a "holy shit" moment for young viewers when this first aired.

 Tandy and Meredith get a long quite well.  You find that Tandy was quite the lady's man when he was alive.  He cheated on his quiet, faithful girlfriend even.

 The steambath crew tell stories of their life and death, and God allows them, one by one to exit through to the black abyss.

But Tandy isn't ready to leave.  He still is too attached to earthly delights; he can't accept that he'll be parted from things like Cuban cigars and lovely ladies.  He's the last one left in the steambath.  The lights go dim.  THE END

Director Burt Brinckerhoff doesn't really add much to the play; it's as if this was just a performance which happened to be captured on film.  He'd go on to do every show you can think of - Lou Grant, Misfits of Science, ALF, Beverly Hills 90210, Magnum PI, Remington Steel, Dynasty, Growing Pains, etc. but this was among his first attempts at directing.

I found the acting really good, and the dialog enjoyable; however, it belongs in the seventies and doesn't translate well to today.  I imagine the idea of god being a Puerto Rican janitor was a bit scandalous back then, but it's pretty lame now.  Indeed, there are plenty of cringey lame moments (the R2-D2 segment, the gay singer dancers, the long self-important stories told by each steam bath occupant)... but Perrine's nudity is not among them. For those who watched its original airing, this is all that is ultimately worth remembering.
★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆