The House of the Lost Dolls (1974)

Original title: La maison des filles perdues (1974), AKA Police Magnum 84

The opening shot: The Southern Star, also known as The House of Lost Dolls; a whorehouse out in the middle of nowhere.

We meet Gaston (Raymond Schettino) and his favorite whore, Yvette (Magda Mundari).

Mundari wasn't exactly famous, but she did appear on some nudie magazine covers and nine exploitation flicks, all from 1972 to 1975.

So, Gaston convinces Yvette to escape from this place.

They cruise out of there in a vehicle clearly not meant for off-road driving.

For some reason, the two take a quick stop in the woods for a little afternoon delight.

Could they not have gone to the police station first... and then, in safety, shagged to their heart's content?  They just couldn't wait.

At the police station, Yvette recounts her story - how she wound up a captive at a whorehouse.

It all started when she was taken out to a nice restaurant.

She was taken to a room and violated by some dude.

She awoke in the cargo hold of a ship.  There's this unconscious blonde who's put in a wicker basket.  This doesn't look good.

Yvette is then drugged by a silver haired lady named Sylvia (Silvia Solar) and put into a basket like the other girl.

The girls are transported across the ocean, unpacked from their wicker crates, and enlisted into the whorehouse.

Then, the film takes a mind boggling turn.  For some fucking reason, they just include TWENTY MINUTES of a totally different movie!

The film is Agent Sigma 3: Mission Goldwather (1967) starring Jack Taylor (and also Silvia Solar).  What in the ever-lovin' fuck?  Not only is the plot and characters changed, but the film quality and color are totally different.  This is nuts.

Finally, after a completely irrelevant twenty minutes, we're back to the story.  At the police station, the white slavery case has been assigned to Magda (Sandra Julien).

Magda goes to the Southern Star, posing as a prostitute.

Magda hides a camera in the room, and meets with the same grey haired dude that raped Yvette, Rasly (Olivier Mathot).

Rasly tries the same old routine on Magda.  This time he's on candid camera.

Sandra Julien was an early seventies hottie who released an album.  We encountered her in Shiver of the Vampires.

But Rasly discovers the camera and tries to beat the shit out of her.  Magda manages to escape.

As Magda escapes through the streets, we get a nice shot of a seedy street view.

But she's quickly re-captured.  Take note, when the thugs manhandle her in the cargo hold of the ship, Sandra Julien delivers the mother-of-all-upskirts.

Damn.  Such is the danger of wearing a miniskirt and being manhandled on camera.

The white slavers then strip her naked.  I was quite surprised to see this level of nudity from Sandra Julien.  Sure, she provided bush in Shiver of the Vampire, but this scene has the camera aimed directly at her crotch as struggles around, yielding some very "anatomic" views.

Let's not forget, this chick was a pretty successful model in the early seventies.  A few pics:

So, yeah, this go-go boot wearin' hottie from magazine covers and decent film resume agrees to do this...

...for a crummy low-budget French movie with a fucking 1967 spy movie stuck in the middle.  What was she thinking?

Anyhoo, Magda is raped and drugged.  She wakes up on the floor of the cargo hold, karate chops Sylvia, and escapes.

Magda finds the clues she needs, alerts the police, and the white slavers are brought to justice.

Yvette and Gaston celebrate.  THE END

Well, the movie is obviously terrible.  With a third of the film being irrelevant footage from another movie, I just can't recommend.

That being said, the parts that aren't Agent Sigma 3: Mission Goldwather, have that grimey, mean-spirited vibe we've come to love from grindhouse films. Plus, there is a clear unprecedented focus on Sandra Julien's crotch that staggers the mind.  It's as if it were written by Jesús Franco.  Oh, wait.  It was written by Jesús Franco.  That explains a lot.

★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆