Jan 27, 2018

The Undertaker (1988)

Joe Spinell is Uncle Roscoe, a mortician who keeps himself in business by killing the locals. Tagline: "He'll Love You To Death".

Evilspeak (1981)

One of the notorious "video nasties" starring Clint Howard as a wannabe satanist; also featuring a very memorable boar attack... suffice it to say, this demands our attention...

Evil Spawn (1987)

Bobby Bresee is a has-been actress who takes a serum to make her young again.  As you might expect, this has dire consequences.  And by dire consequences, I mean a giant alien bug that murders people.

Shock 'Em Dead (1991)

A Faustian tale with 90s hair metal, Traci Lords, Troy Donahue and groupies in neon miniskirts.

Movie House Massacre (1984)

Movie House Massacre (1984) AKA Blood Theatre - featuring a deadly popcorn machine, Mary Woronov's legs, a deadly potted plant, and more of Mary Woronov's legs.  Let's have a look...

Christina (1984)

Christina (1984) - Featuring a lesbian terrorist group, nude disco dancing, cabbages as weapons, and a frequently nude Jewel Shepard.

Jan 26, 2018

Best Friends (1975)

Best Friends (1975): "She became the ravaged victim of a century of revenge!"   A misleading tagline if there ever was one.  Let's have a look...

Gas Pump Girls (1979)

If you enjoyed Screwballs, Zapped, Joysticks, Incoming Freshmen, H.O.T.S., etc. then this is a perfect way to spend an hour. Personally, I'd rather see Gas Pump Girls any day over big budget pretentious crap like The Dark Knight and its ilk.  Late seventies - early eighties sex comedies are a class unto themselves. They follow a formula much like the slasher pictures, rarely veering far from the template.  Gas Pump Girls is no exception.

Jan 25, 2018

A Scream in the Streets (1973)

A grimy cesspool of sleaze awaits as we follow two detectives on a hunt for a cross-dressing serial killer.

Judy (1970)

Judy (1970) - A serial killer is on the loose, and it's up to a private dick to find him before he kills again.

Knell the Bloody Avenger (1976)

Sangue di Sbirro (1976) AKA Blood and Bullets / Knell the Bloody Avenger

I enjoy a good poliziotesschi (Italian crime film) if the mood is right. For the uninitiated, take an episode of Kojak and spice it up with a few scenes of R rated sex and violence. An episode of Kojak and a poliziotesschi have similar budgets, a similar machismo factor, a similar grittiness, and contain the requisite car chase and fight scenes.... just add blood and boobs for the poliziotesschi. Sangue di Sbirro is no exception.

Loaded Guns (1975)

Colpo in Canna (1975) AKA Loaded Guns

A European action flick directed by the man behind Inglorious Bastards featuring an often naked Ursula Andress and badass Woody Strode - you'd think this would be an automatic favorite. Yes, there's plenty in the win column in Loaded Guns... but the fail column is even longer.

Jan 22, 2018

Jokes My Folks Never Told Me (1978)

It's just a mix of dirty jokes told by unknown actors and various ladies in states of undress (plus a young Anthony Keidis of The Red Hot Chili Peppers). There were several of these types of movies back then (ex. If You Don't Stop It... You'll Go Blind!! from 1975), all of them awful.

For some reason, older audiences enjoyed these corny jokes. Think about the gags on Laugh-In and Hee-Haw; a combination of bawdiness and cornball humor, that just wouldn't fly with today's audiences. Let's take a look at some of the jokes...

Jan 21, 2018

Santo and Dracula's Treasure (1969)

Santo and Dracula's Treasure (1969) (original title - Santo en El tesoro de Drácula; and adult version for US release: El Vampiro y el Sexo): featuring time travel, a vampire harem, and Lucha Libre.

Jan 19, 2018

Crystal Heart (1986)

A very strange variation on "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble" story, this time with Tawny Kitaen.

Satan's Bed (1965)

A typical "roughie" picture featuring a certain someone who broke up The Beatles.  It's an odd bag.  Let's have a look...

Relentless IV: Ashes to Ashes (1994)

In the fourth and final installment of the forgettable Relentless films, Dietz is once again on the trail of a twisted serial killer.

Jan 18, 2018

Bad Girls Dormitory (1986)

What do you get when a male porno director takes the helm of a Women In Prison (WIP) genre movie? You wind up with wooden lifeless acting and no sense of what's erotic for a heterosexual male audience.  Tim Kincaid also directed Breeders, which we reviewed on VZ1, and it suffered from the exact same issues.

None of the girls are particularly good looking.  It's like Tim Kincaid just scooped up any NY theater student willing to take off her clothes for cash.  It follows all of the WIP tropes, but with the same low-energy, charmless manner we saw in Breeders, with many of the same actresses.  Let's have a look...

Jan 15, 2018

The Amazons (1973)

The Amazons (1973) - original title: Le guerriere dal seno nudo... which translates to "The Bare Breasted Warriors", so count me in.

Wheeler (1975)

A psychotic Texan treats people badly (i.e. he rapes and/or kills them), then run into trouble with the law.  There's the longest chase scene in cinema history, and a very memorable ending involving Linnea Quigley.  I'd say it's worth checking out...

Hello Down There (1969)

Felix from The Odd Couple and his wife, Janet Leigh from Psycho, are to live in an underwater habitation with their kids and a groovy rock band. Wacky hi-jinx ensue.

Jan 13, 2018

Fleshtone (1994)

A British artist gets wrapped up in a murder mystery.  It's your typical erotic thriller template, but with a few pleasant surprises in the second half.  Let's watch...

Jan 12, 2018

The Thirsty Dead (1974)

There's a cult deep in the Philippine jungle where they worship a disembodied head and drink blood.  Let's have a look at what happens when some ladies are abducted and taken to the heart of darkness...

Nightmare Sisters (1988)

Scream Queens Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer and Brinke Stevens join forces in this campy tale of demonic possession.

Cherry, Harry & Raquel! (1970)

Russ Meyer delivers his usual buffet of voluptuous goddesses in this crime film starring Charles Napier.  Let's watch...

Help Me... I'm Possessed (1976)

A mad scientist movie that looks like it was filmed alternately by H. G. Lewis and Sam Raimi.  It's ultra-low-budget with precious little going for it, besides its inherent badness which can be endearingly awful.  Let's have a look...

Jan 6, 2018

Dial: Help (1988)

Dial: Help (Minaccia d'amore - original title) stars the hot chick from The Golden Child (Charlotte Lewis) and the director of Cannibal Holocaust (Ruggero Deodato) in a film about possessed telephones.  This we have to see...

Mad Foxes (1981)

Are you ready for one of the most insane exploitation films ever made?  This is campy Troma-esque mayhem mixed with dark "oh-shit-did-that-just-happen?" violence that is without equal. I give you - Mad Foxes...

Jan 5, 2018

The Shiver of the Vampires (1971)

A Jean Rollin vampire flick featuring psychedelic vampire hunters, a hippie vampire queen, a lot of nudity, and Rollin's gothic atmosphere at its finest.  Let's have a look...

The Blue Hour (1971)

A Greek chick with a checkered past is having a hard time living the Samantha Stevens life in the suburbs when she's haunted by her jacked-up history.  Maybe reliving it will prove to be therapeutic...

Jan 4, 2018

Sweet Sugar (1972)

Phyllis Davis is Sugar, a hooker stuck in a sugar cane plantation.  Featuring requisite shower scenes, real voodoo magic, and torture by drug-crazed cats.  Let's watch...

Jan 3, 2018

Breeders (1986)

It's got gobs of female nudity, but the writer-director is a gay porn director - so, that's different. Think Lifeforce crossed with Invasion of the Body Snatchers... if it was directed by someone who would rather be filming a gay porno. That's Breeders. Let's watch.

Luther the Geek (1989)

A psycho killer with razor sharp teeth who clucks like a chicken invades a farmhouse, featuring the frequently topless girl who played Lois Lang in Superboy.  Let's have a looksee...

Jan 1, 2018

The Blue Sextet (1971)

The Blue Sextet was directed by David E. Durston, the man behind the infamous I Drink Your Blood. The film had limited release and wasn't seen again until recently when it was stuck on the Bluray with I Drink Your Blood.

But it doesn't deserve to be forgotten, or live in the shadow of Durston's notorious flick from 1970.  The Blue Sextet was actually made in 1969, but was slapped with an X rating until it was cleaned up for an R in 1972.  Funnily, at the March 1972 press screening, the X rated version was accidentally shown. Allen B. Bazzini, the president of Unisphere Releasing Corporation, stated that it was "an unintentional mixup."

Endless Night (1972)

Endless Night (original title Durch die Hölle) had a short run in German cinema before being pulled.  It didn't see the light of day during the VHS heyday, and only recently found its way back to the light via Blu ray.  It's an odd, twisted story that probably isn't for everyone's taste.  Let's have a look at this long lost cinema obscurity...