Nov 24, 2017

Calendar Girls (1971)

Original title: Blutjunge Verführerinnen 3 from Switzerland/West Germany; in the vein of the popular sexploitation series Schulmadchen Report is an anthology of sleazy tales told by Ingrid Steeger, each featuring a female "seducer"

Let's take a look at each seducer's story... and by "story" I mean weak premise to show nudity.  Enjoy.

And so, Ingrid Steeger tells her ribald tales to this goofy guy over beers and German snacks.  The first five stories are short, odd tales of fellow-seducer friends.  The last, sixth story, is of herself (and, since it stars Steeger, the legendary German sex goddess, it's naturally the best)... AND it consists of several parts in itself.


A girl grape-picker flirts with a fellow worker.

The seducer sponges herself off.  God I wish she'd lined up those pictures with the wallpaper pattern.  That is really triggering.

And the two have sex.  End of story.  I told you these were just sorry excuses to show bush; you were warned.


A bored man is sitting listening to piano in his parent's living room when a chick in a miniskirt enters the room.

They sneak upstairs (the parents never waking from their bored stupor to notice he's gone) and get to shagging.

The two pledge undying love to one another while the boring piano concert plays on downstairs.  The End.


A girl is staying with relatives out in the country, to learn the simple life and self-reliance.

But she's not the type to want to be alone for long.

Out in the woods, she finds a dude chopping wood that strikes her fancy.

Like all the other girls in this film, she's averse to wearing clothing, and strips for the studly woodsman.  They screw. The End.


A couple of girls, one brunette the other a fat redhead, happen upon a guy stranded by his broken car.

The brunette lures him to her place.  Meanwhile, the fat chick works at the mechanic's shop and ensures his vehicle won't be fixed tonight.

This gives them both time to have sex with this guy. (The part where the fat chick gets laid ain't my cup of tea; kinda gross.  Just sayin'.)  The End.


We get an overlong look at a dirt bike race (yawn), then a girl in red rain gear asks where the winner is staying for the night.

She sneaks into his room and undresses.  (We have to also witness the dirt biker's shower; a mighty unpleasant experience.)

The dirt bike groupie seduces her man.  The End.


Steeger works as a nude model for an art class.  Each "artist" secretly fantasizes about her, and so we get to witness each of their perverted thoughts as they pretend to concentrate on their sketching.

Fantasy #1

The first guy fantasizes that Ingrid is a prostitute and he has sex with her in a seedy motel room.

Fantasy #2

This guy fantasizes that Ingrid is a "sweet young innocent" and they read a book on sexual positions together.

And so, we get to see Ingrid engaged in a variety of positions.  Not too shabby.

Fantasy #3

This one's a particularly odd one.  Ingrid keeps appearing around this guy's bedroom, but before he can touch her, she disappears.

As if things couldn't get odder, Ingrid starts dancing a jig.

I don't get it, but I'm definitely down with it.  It ends with a final fantasy of Ingrid's own where she has to seduce a fat park ranger in order to get her boyfriend out of a ticket (?)

It's all incredibly nonsensical, almost surrealistically strange at times.  Judging it solely for providing entertaining T&A, which is its only real reason for existing, it scores pretty low.  Ingrid Steeger is naked for the last quarter of the film, so it can't be all bad; but, otherwise, a waste of time.  There are a lot better films like this out there... but none featuring Ingrid dancing a jig on a shag rug.  So it's got that going for it.

For a list of all the Schulmädchen-Report films covered on Video Zeta One click the image.