Of the seemingly millions of sleazy Euro imports that flooded drive-ins and seedy theaters in the late 60s and 70s - why watch this one? First, it's 1968, so we haven't hit the hardcore level yet; so, things are still fun and campy - not even Skinamax levels. Yes, I know there existed pornos in '68. What I mean is - skin flicks could still be fun without getting
explicit.
Second, it's filmed like a big MGM technicolor production; so, there isn't that grainy, brownish hue that would come to dominate 70s skin flicks.
Without a Stitch (AKA Uden en trævl) looks like it could be a Bob Hope or Doris Day film, but with boobs.
There are other reasons: it actually has a semblance of a plot, it's interesting to check out the groovy '68 fashions, etc. But enough with the whys; let's begin our story...
Young Lilian (
Anne Grete Nissen) is worried she's frigid. So, she consults a doctor recommended by her friend Britta. His methods are insanely unorthodox (and would get an M.D. sued and imprisoned) but, supposedly, they get the job done - so let's give it a whirl.
Doctor Petersen (
Ib Mossin), asks Lilian to remove her clothing. When she seems embarrassed, he doesn't understand why. She should be proud of her body. The doc has his work cut out for him.
Dr. Petersen: "It is important that you are naked here. You must be broken of your shyness."
Doc Petersen does a thorough examination. And by "thorough", I mean thoroughly inappropriate.
Lillian feels a bit turned-on by exam, and thinks she's cured, but Petersen delivers the bad news that it's still going to be a few months:
"You are bothered by anxiety and guilt, shyness and shame." This is going to take some work to overcome these hangups and thereby gain the power of orgasm.
She agrees. After all - she was just fresh from a bad encounter with Henry. "Tell me about your experience with Henry," says Doc Petersen...
Lillian tells the tale of her date with Henry. The scene is exceedingly awkward (bravo to the director to capturing this level of awkwardness) - they put on records, pour drinks, all with just a few shy words.
Lillian keeps chug-a-lugging to steel herself for the moment.
She disrobes, and everything is going swimmingly...
Henry grabs some liquid courage himself, but at the moment of truth, the poor guy is left blue-balled. Lillian can't go through with it.
Back in the exam room the next day, Doc gives Lillian a long lesson in sexual morality.... or rather, why there is no such thing as sexual morality. Sex is just a "thing you do", no different than picking flowers. This whole scene is like it's right out of a hippie era self-help book. It's the sexual revolution in a nutshell... and it's just a little hard to follow and concentrate with a naked Lillian onscreen.
Lillian tells the doctor a little more about her evening with Henry -
and shit gets real...
They try to have sex, but, out of nervousness, Lillian laughs. Henry turns out to be a world class douche, and spanks her, threatens her with a fire poker and tells her to "go to hell". WTF?
Amazingly, the doctor doesn't tell her that Henry is a threat and she should stay away. Quite the contrary - he blames her, saying she needs to be less inhibited and more "active".
And as you can see from the picture above, the doctor is going to let her practice on
him. After all, doctors are in the business of healing; and he's just the medical professional to do his duty.
The doctor gives her his blessing to hitchhike across Europe. She's picked up by a guy in a utility truck. When she starts to get nervous, she hears the wise words of Doc Petersen much like Obi Wan Kenobi - and it's on to consequence-less sex in the back.
You might note that she's wearing the same shirt as the one with Henry earlier. The wardrobe budget for Anne Grete Nissen was pretty tight.
As luck would have it, the driver works for a porno company. In a jiffy, Lillian is given a frightfully terrible wig and makeup and it's lights, camera, action. It appears that Dr. Petersen's magic really did the trick. It seems like only yesterday, Lillian was a blushing virgin.
That night, Lillian writes in the diary Doctor Petersen told her to keep.
"Dear Doctor. As a doctor you'll certainly be glad to hear how quickly your patient has become...."
And she doesn't finish the sentence! Are we supposed to fill in the blank? What would
you answer? A Whore? A Woman?
Lillian visits the University in Copenhagen and hooks up with an bisexual architect student who has an extremely groovy pad a la Austin Powers. Soon it's time for a threesome, but Lillian gets a case of the nerves... but then she hears the echoing words of Obi Wan Peterson, "Use The
Force Vagina, Lillian." (Or something like that.)
An interesting note: Before the threesome takes place, the architect student points out that Lillian's been shaved (her pubic hair was removed prior to the porno). They laugh and marvel as if it's the craziest thing they've ever seen. The guy says the he heard they used to do that in the 1800s.
How far we've come.
After exploring the seedy underbelly of Amsterdam, Lillian hooks up with a rich guy. Unfortunately, he's into S&M and has her whipped, and then vice versa. WWDPD? (What would Doc Petersen do?) I'm thinking he would approve.
After a few sexual rendezvous in Italy then Paris, she boards a plane to head back home... and guess who's also aboard? Yep. It's Henry, and they are getting along famously! Perhaps she now has what it takes to make him happy.
What have we learned today, folks? Women should become experienced through lots of casual sex so that their men don't have to get frustrated and threaten them with violence. It's a beautiful thing. Thank you, Doctor Peterson.
Lillian takes one last trip to the doc's office to tell her jedi master how far she's come.
And to keep the Star Wars references going, the movie ends with Lillian waving goodbye to the ghosts of her past, like that iconic wave to Obi Wan, Anniken, and Yoda.
The movie is a hot mess of hippie-era sexual psychology, and has basically no plot, etc., etc.... but let's face it, we're watching it for the Scandinavian T&A, and that
Without a Stitch delivers aplenty. Anne Grete Nissen is easily nude for three-fourths of her screen time, and she is a stone cold Danish fox. The picture and color are fantastic, making the sets, fashions and full frontal awesome to behold. VZ1 recommends.
★★★★★★★☆☆☆
