Nov 7, 2017

Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987)

A couple galactic slave chicks wind up victims of the "Most Dangerous Game" trope. Let's see if it lives up to its awesome VHS cover.

Elizabeth Kaitan plays "Daria" and Cindy Beal is "Tisa", a couple slaves who manage to break out, kill the guards and steal a spaceship.

Their spaceship goes down in flames and the two escapees become separated on a strange planet.

Elizabeth Kaitan (Daria above) played in a multitude of B-movies including Friday the 3th Part VII, Vice Academy and Silent Night, Deadly Night II.  I find it infinitely amusing that she later became the secretary/assistant for conservative David Horovitz.

Daria finds a castle inhabited by a robot and the infinitely shmarmy Zed, played Don Scribner (who, according to IMDb was, at one time, the youngest school principal in Wisconsin).

Also at his palatial estate is Daria's fellow slavegirl, Tisa.

The two don't trust this Zed character one bit.

Interestingly, the only other movies Cindy Beal was in are My Chauffeur (1986) and Dragon Ball GT (1996).  I guess it shouldn't be too terribly surprising - she is not a good actress, even for B grade films like this one.

That evening, Daria and Tisa are given fancy clothes (admittedly, I was sad to see the slave girl bikini go), and they join Zed and his robot manservant for dinner.  There they learn he is an avid hunter, and somewhat of a psychopath.

Also at dinner are brother and sister Rik (Carl Horner) and Shala (scream queen legend Brinke Stevens).  They are also newcomers to the Zed's castle.

Rik, sporting a dynamite puffy shirt, enlists the help of Tisa and Daria to find his missing sister, Shala.

As hopeless as this movie is, it does manage to keep the girls in ogle-worthy attire. Perhaps the film's only strength.  Still, it's by no means close to the level of indecency proclaimed by Jesse Helms in 1992.  That's right - Helms singled this movie out by name!

Surprise.  Shala has been captured by the evil Zed, and is chained up in his dungeon.

As you can probably tell, the movie would be a whole lot better if the picture quality wasn't such shit.  All I could get a hold of was a muddy VHS; however, I haven't checked recently to see if this has ever gotten a proper DVD/Blu Ray release.

Anyway, Tisa explores the castle while Rik and Daria check the grounds. Director Ken Dixon remains a faithful provider of eye candy via an almost constant supply of scantily clad babes.

Strangely, Dixon only directed two films: this and The Erotic Adventures of Robinson Crusoe over ten years earlier (1975).  What's the story there?  I'd be interested to learn.

Tisa finds Zed's secret dungeon lair, and sees Shala on his slab.

I've got to say - Zed plays a good creep, Brinke is hot as always, the robot is pretty cool, and Tia & Daria are stone cold foxes.  What's not to love?

Turns out a lot.  The film, suffers from some woefully bad direction, and the zero budget is very evident.  It just doesn't have the energy, mojo and campy flair that would make this a cult classic.  But moving on...

We do get a couple topless moments midway through.  Tisa distracts a robot by bathing topless, and Daria and Rik pretend to have sex to fool Zed.

I must admit, it does give me some pleasure to see the secretary of conservative zealot Horovitz naked.

Eventually, all three girls are captured and chained in Zed's dungeon.

...Zed's dungeon.... anyone else reminded of Pulp Fiction?

The girls are then released into the jungle and hunted by Zed.  Sadly, most of the jungle-hunt scenes are in such poor lighting, the otherwise suspenseful chase is rendered confusing and lame.  Director Dixon should've sacrificed the "scary" darkness vibe and filmed this portion in the daytime.

The connection here, of course, is The Most Dangerous Game, a 1924 short story about hunting humans that has supposedly spawned more movie and television "adaptations" than any other work of fiction.

The slave girls, on the run from Zed, wander into an ancient temple.  Tisa is grabbed by an alien and we are treated to the time-honored carry scene.

Daria finds a laser gun and the two girls open up a can of whoopass on Zed, then escape on a spaceship.

What about Rik and Shala?  Oh, they died.

Yeah, this movie is kind of a mess.  Perhaps with more pixels and better direction this could've been something special.  Alas, it ends up just being a poorly lit movie with hot girls in bikinis running around.... which, I suppose, isn't such a bad thing.