Bra Wars 2: The Rack of the Clones (2002)

 

A Star Wars prequel spoof that I can find very little information on.  Presumably, the Lucasfilm lawyers have disintegrated every last trace of it and sued or murdered everyone involved.  I'm sure this review will come to an untimely end as well.  It's an all-female adult film with a surprising dedication to the original.  Many porn spoofs are connected to their source material in name-only, but this one goes for it as best it can on a abysmally small budget with CGI almost as bad as Rogue One.

The title scroll reads: "The Galactic Republic enjoys a period of relative calm, but evil forces are secretly at work. Queen Primadonna of Naboob, a stalwart supporter of the Republic, learns that a dark army is being created for the purpose of taking the galaxy by force. The Queen summons her most trusted and sexy Jug-I Knights in hope that they might learn how to thwart this new threat and save their civilization..."

Mannequin (Cheyenne Silver) steers the ship to Naboob.

Boobi-Wan (Devinn Lane)

Top tier CGI

Queen Primadonna of Naboob (Lisa Ann)

"Paddle-Me" sends the Jug-I on a mission to find out about the clones.

The Jug-I get information from Sintax (Friday). Note that that there's precious little info on this film, plus it's hard to identify the stars in costumes (not to mention your average pornstar's ever changing plastic surgery status) - so please correct me if I've misidentified anyone.

Boobi-Wan uses the force to defend against Sintax. 

Then this happens.

Sintax's information leads them to Tent City.

Mannequin confronts a surprise threat...

Zen and Zero  - AKA The Porcelain Twinz

Mannequin joins them

Boobi-Wan arrives and is disappointed in her apprentice

Boobi-Wan turns off the VR and the twins disappear, leaving Mannequin looking stupid.

The Jug-I need to get through this guarded door.

They try and blend in with a couple other workers

Fafa (Zana) directs the Jug-I on how to act so as to not arouse suspicion. 

Their other accomplice is the great Laurie Wallace

For some reason they perform a "local ritual" in front of the guards

Yeah, this won't bring attention to them at all.

Boobi-Wan and Mannequin get access to the clone factory

Inside the laboratory

The clone Rackhammer (Julie Strain)

Vulva (Amber Michaels) is the mad scientist in red.  The sith (Kelly Madison) inspects her progress.  Note that she's never actually called a "sith", but I don't recall her character's name ever being said. If they had, I'm sure it would have been another unclever pun.

Vulva explains that they'll have to use bioelectric energy to initiate Rackhammer.  To do that, the "evil queen" will have to reach orgasm in a special chair...

Vulva does her best to get a rise out of the sith.

It seems to be working

Rackhammer awakens

Vulva has Rackhammer demonstrate her special ability...

Tada!

Boobi-Wan and Mannequin are watching through a vent.

They're noticed

The sith uses her powers to blow off the vent cover, exposing the Jug-I.  Note that Kelly Madison's boobs are not that lopsided.  When your breasts are that big and natural, they tend to not stay put like gravity-defying fake racks.

Mannequin and the sith face-off.

You knew it would go this way.

Boobi-Wan battles Rackhammer.

Boobi-Wan is able to fend off the clone via her own bioelectric energy - generated by masturbation.

Back to Naboob.

Back on the planet, Rackhammer gets down with the Porcelain Twinz.

Mission accomplished. Paddle-Me rewards the Jug-I.

Not exactly a high water mark in the history of science fiction. However, I do have to commend the effort. Hopefully the Lucasfilm team of vampire lawyers spared the lives of some of those affiliated with this film. 

 ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆5/10