Apr 5, 2022

Beach Babes from Beyond (1993)


An interesting bikini movie for the number of celebrity relatives in the cast: Stallone’s mother, Martin Sheen’s brother, Patrick Swayze’s brother, John Travolta’s brother and Robin to Adam West’s Batman, Burt Ward. Also featuring legends Linnea Quigley and Tamara Landry

Gork (Don Swayze) and Yanna (Jackie Stallone) take their new spacecraft out for a ride

Their daughter Xena (Roxanne Blaze)

A nice gratuitous shower scene

Xena's friends Luna (Tamara Landry) and...

Sola (Nicole Posey)

Luna and Sola try on Xena's outfits which she made herself

Against Xena's better judgement, they take her parents' spacecraft out for a joy ride

But they crash land on earth

Nearby, beach bum Uncle Bud (Joe Estevez) meets with his nephew Dave (Michael Todd Davis) and his friend Jerry (Ken Steadman).

Uncle Bud is informed by Hassler (Albert Mitchell) that he is being served an eviction notice

The whole beach is one big party.  

The music sounds like if Kim Wilde fronted the Go-Go's. And we hear the whole length of the song multiple times in this film.

Just an endless supply of random girls in bikinis

Dave and Jerry visit the refreshment stand operated by Dr. Veg (Joey Travolta)

Veg was once a top space scientist

Hassler and conniving bitch Sally (Linnea Quigley)

Sally's models (L-R) Angela CornellC.C. Costigan and Nikki Fritz

Hassler fantasizes about screwing Nikki Fritz

Okay, this scene just seems to come out of nowhere and gets way beyond what you'd expect from a bikini movie. Here, Hassler literally just spreads open Nikki Fritz's legs. And what follows is an extremely graphic sex scene with Fritz in every position imaginable. WTF?

And it just goes on and on

Okay, now that that's over.  We go to Jerry, Dave beach bum Ziggy (Michael Roddy)

They're spied by the alien girls. 

Xena, Sola and Luna introduce themselves.

Luna hooks up with Jerry, and the others pair up as well.

Jerry and Luna have sex in his van.

Xena shows Dave her spaceship. They see if Veg can help her get her spaceship fueled up

The girls display their new bathing suits made by Xena

They have some fun in the sun

They see a flyer for a bikini contest. Hey, they could enter it and win the money for Uncle Bud so he won't get evicted.

Sally (and models) greet her rich sponsor

Mr. Bun (Burt Ward)

She tries to sway him to vote for her models in the upcoming bikini contest. But Mr. Bun won't be so easily swayed, and throws them off.

Zig, Jerry and Dave overhear the bombshell news that Uncle Bud is actually the Big Kahuna

Sally needs to find a way to prevent Xena's bathing suits from making it into the contest

So she abducts Xena

Zig looks everywhere for Xena

Bothering random nude sunbathers, he continues his search

Jerry checks the women's bathroom

A random topless woman kicks him out, calling him a pervert

Dave and Jerry find Xena and rescue her. They consider sabotaging Sally's suits, but they want to win fair and square

Dave and Xena have sex, but it's way too bleached to see a thing

The bikini contest begins

Uh-oh, Sally's models' tops come off 

Xena wins the contest.  Uncle Bud's place is saved.

Sally and Uncle Bud rekindle their romance.  Mr. Bun offers the Big Kahuna a big money deal. 

The space girls say goodbye. THE END

It truly does capture that giddy flavor of beach movies from the sixties.  Even better, the sexual content is far more graphic than you'd expect.  


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