Jan 30, 2022

Terror at Tenkiller (1986)


A slasher film from Oklahoma featuring the usual tropes - girls at a lake, red herrings, and Ten Little Indian style killings. What's not featured is the usual hallmarks of a "good" slasher - a killer with a trademark look, and gobs of gratuitous nudity and creative violence.

FleshEater (1988)


Bill Hinzman, best known for playing the cemetery ghoul in George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968). wrote, produced, edited, directed and starred in this film. I just have to say, I wish all zombie movies - or even horror movies in general - would go this hard, and leave at that for now.

Naked Sicilian Wife (1978)


A naive Sicilian girl runs away from her new truck driver husband to Milan where she gets wrapped up in the sins of metropolitan life.

Dangerous When Aroused (1973)


(Original Title: Les Garces) A slow atmospheric French film about an escaped convict who hides out in the home of a lesbian couple.

La fessée (1976)


(Original Title: La fessée ou Les mémoires de monsieur Léon maître-fesseur) An insane French movie about a nerdy bank teller whose side job is spanking women.  He's know as the Master-Spanker, and people from all walks of life pay for his services.

Skare (2007)


Well the cover certainly does make it look like a gory metal shitshow, but it couldn't be farther from the truth.  This is actually a British dialog driven slow burn. It has its moments, but audiences expecting splattern porn will be taking a nap ten minutes into this film, which mostly even-tempered discussion between a man and an older woman.

Beautiful Teacher in Torture Hell (1985)


(Original Title: Dan Oniroku: Bikyoshi jigokuzeme 団鬼六 美教師地獄責め ) Another sicko film adaptation of a Dan Oniroku work. A schoolteacher finds herself the object of torture and sadism at the hands of a local rich dude.

Jessicka Rabid (2010)


A mentally challenged girl is treated like a dog (literally) two white trash dudes.  One day, she contracts rabies and starts giving them a taste of their own medicine.

The Inn of the Lively Girls (1979)


(Original Title: Zum Gasthof der spritzigen Mädchen) Similar cast as Greetings from Lederhose 5 (1978)

The Grind (2009)


One of the worst, lamest films I've seen in a long, long time.  A perfectly good exploitation film setup is absolutely ruined by poor directing via John Millea.  A textbook exemplar of how a film can be destroyed when a director shits the bed.

That 70's Girl (2004)


A Seduction Cinema throwaway about about a hippie chick who expands the horizons of two straight-laced sisters.  

Fantom Kiler 4 (2008)


We've covered Fantom Kiler (1998), Fantom Kiler 2 (1999), and Fantom Kiler 3 (2003), and we said we were going to stop there.  Well, here we are again, with this sequel from five years later.  I guess we get what we deserve.

Body and Soul of a Woman (1983)


(Original Title: Corpo e Alma de Uma Mulher) Featuring the talents of several Brazilian sexploitation heavy hitters: Written by Ody Fraga who wrote a ton of these films, directed (and starring) the prolific David Cardoso, and pornochanada all-star actresses  Helena Ramos and Matilde Mastrangi

Jan 26, 2022

The Witches of Sappho Salon (2003)


A hair salon is run by a trio of witches who need to claim a virginal victim every thirty years in order to retain their youth.

Black Emmanuelle, White Emmanuelle (1976)


Technically not an Emmanuelle movie, just renamed in other countries because anything with "Emmanuelle" in the title back then was an automatic money maker. 

Surrender in Paradise (1984)


Six models are shipwrecked on an island with an escaped prisoner. Featuring Ginger Lynn.

Jan 24, 2022

Take Off Your Clothes, Doll (1968)


(Original Title: Zieh dich aus, Puppe) A German film about a girl who becomes estranged from her family and must make it on her own.  She enters a world of a nightclub - of prostitution, drugs and violence.  I'll say upfront, I was interested for the first third (maybe half the film), then became so bored I completely lost interested and stopped paying attention.  The last few minutes of the movie are interesting because shit starts happening again, but, man, that last half of the movie is a grind.

Revenge of the Cheerleaders (1976)


David Hasselhoff (who was also starring in The Young and The Restless at the time) says he took the job to get into Screen Actors Guild and didn't think the film would be released. He was nearly right. It was shot in 1974 and stayed on the shelf for two years.

Daddy (2003)


A police officer is tracking down what appears to be a rapist zombie; in the process, bad memories in this small town are resurfaced.

Run! Bitch Run! (2009)


An ode, an homage,... a ripoff, whatever you want to call it, of seventies grindhouse movies of the rape/revenge variety. 

Mistress Frankenstein (2000)


Seduction Cinema's low-rent take on Frankenstein, featuring Darian Caine. 

The Cuckoo Clocks of Hell (2011)


I didn't realize when I put this one in to watch - it was the same group that brought us Schizophreniac: The Whore Mangler (1997).  That was '97 - this is 2011 - they were still making this shit fourteen years later? Ron Atkins is the writer/director who thinks that color filters makes your films seem underground.  I hate to break it to him, but that's Instagram, not underground cinema. Also, containing tons of racist material, but that's okay too I guess in the name of "art"?  Ugh.  I'll just stop here.  Let's have a look...

Jan 23, 2022

The Hanging Woman (1973)


(Original Title:  La orgía de los muertos) Naschy didn't write or direct this one, but I don't care if it's the 5AM farm report, if Naschy's name is on it, I'm watching it. This is a Gothic horror film about the usual Gothic stuff: an inheritance, the undead, catacombs and sarcophagi, seances, a mad scientist,.. it's got it all.

The Crazy Beach Hotel (1983)


(Original Title: Dirndljagd am Kilimandscharo) A German sex comedy taking place in Mombasa, Kenya at the Leisure Lodge where all manner of silly sexual mishaps and tomfoolery occur.

Island of Death (1976)


Inspired by The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNico Mastorakis set out to make a film even more graphic and disturbing - and subsequently make even more money.  The film has become one of the most notorious of the Video Nasties, and I'd say comes by its reputation honestly.  It is truly one of the more horrific and exploitative films of the decade.

Near Death (2004)


Three ghost hunters land in a house that's really haunted - by undead cannibals. 

Sexy American Idle (2004)


The Seduction Cinema regulars have fun acting silly for an American Idol spoof where Julian Wells is able to express her comedy chops.

Morituris (2011)


Partly inspired by true events known as the "Circeo Massacre" this Italian film got a lot of free publicity by its censorship and banning.  It is indeed a very dark film... and by dark, I mean you can't see goddamn thing.  How are people so upset by a movie that you can barely fucking see?

The Big Snatch (1971)


Not to be confused with the other The Big Snatch from the same year - which is made even more confusing because they both feature Jane Tsentas, This is a much cheaper film (if that can be imagined) and contains hardcore scenes.

Jan 21, 2022

Roller Blade (1986)


This film has such a sensational attention-grabbing VHS box, I remember always noticing it in the video stores back in the eighties.  I finally broke down and rented it, and couldn't have been more disappointed.  But tastes change and with a new appreciation for these cult films, I figured it was time to give it another try.

Love Bavarian Style (1973)


(Original Title:Geh, zieh dein Dirndl aus) Another joyful Bavarian sex comedy; god I hope we never run out of these.  Such jubilant bawdiness; They are sure to cure what ails you.

Adolescence Pervertie (1974)


Femi Benussi is a math teacher obsessed with her curly headed student, but she's too conservative to try anything - unlike Malisa Longo, her more sexually forward colleague.

Necrophile Passion (2013)


We've encountered a number of movies which hit the ultimate taboo, necrophilia, head on: Living Doll (1990), Tango 2001 (1974), Love Me Deadly (1972), and Beyond the Darkness (1979).  It's the sickest of sick, and there are a few I refuse to watch (Nekromatik, A Serbian Film), but let's dip our toe back in the dark waters of this subject again with this German shitshow, shall we?

Jan 20, 2022

Assmonster: The Making of a Horror Movie (2006)


I really can't describe this Bill Zebub flick any better than what's on IMDb - "an ultra low budget film by an amateur director about amateur directors making ultra low budget films."

Jan 18, 2022

Three on a Meathook (1972)


One of the many Ed Gein inspired horror movies.  This one starring Linda Thompson who, after this movie was made, shacked up with Elvis for about four years (and lost her virginity to him), dated George Clooney, married Bruce Jenner, divorced and married movie composer David Foster.

Terror Night (1987)


Featuring so many "big" names - Dan HaggertyCameron MitchellJohn IrelandAlan Hale Jr.Michelle BauerAldo Ray - yet shelved for twenty years. 

Living Doll (1990)


A morgue worker falls in love with a girl who works at a flower shop.  After she dies and he must attend to her autopsy, his obsession becomes... well, a little disturbing.  For some reason, this film features Eartha Kitt.

Weekend Convention (1971)


Two businessmen are disappointed that their wives tag along for a business trip.  However, they still are able to hook up with two ladies (one of them Kathy Hilton) - and so do the wives.  That's the entire plot to this porno.

Jan 16, 2022

Cool It Baby (1967)


A matter-of-fact police procedural about a sex-blackmail operation where unwilling women are prostituted and serve as victims in satanic rituals.

Jailbait Babysitter (1977)


The title, movie poster and tagline give the expectation that this is a porno.  However, it couldn't be farther from the case.  Barely a few seconds of nudity; in fract, the "jailbait babysitter" spends the duration of the movie saving herself for when she's older.  Indeed, this could have easily been a TV movie of the week, minus a few seconds of boobs.

Night Screams (1987)


Easily one of the worst slashers of the eighties. A lame, disappointing mess from start to finish. 

Consultorio Sexológico (1980)


I guess men were really struggling with retaining their "machismo" after Women's Lib because there were a ton of movies like this around this time.  In this film, men have been basically neutered by modern living. Professor Iris helps these men by... well, basically just by having sex with them.

Killing Striptease (2002)


(Original Title: Belle da morire) Given the US title, I expected this to be a murder mystery or serial killer film set at a strip club.  Instead, it's more of just a romance-thriller.  

One-Sided Passion (1986)


(Original Title: Senza vergogna) A paraplegic young man spends his days lusting after what he cannot have.  His mother watches his struggles and eventually does what she needs to do.

Hell Hath No Fury (2006)


A horror anthology with a theme around Congreve's line "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

The Sex Merchants (2011)


You can tell this film was influenced by the sixties exploitation films which had similarly lurid titles.  It does similar tropes such as extensive shots of streets with adult theaters and stores, etc. Mainly, I thought it was worth checking out because of Jackie Stevens; so, let's have a look.

Jan 15, 2022

Love Slaves (1976)


Women are being abducted and brainwashed by an evil doctor. He hypnotizes them and then makes his female slaves commit acts of violence for his personal gain.

The Alcove (1985)


A Joe D'Amato film starring Lilli Carati, Laura Gemser and Annie Belle.  An African woman is brought back as the spoils of war.  After much racism, the woman begins to seduce the household and turn things in her favor.

Outlaw Love (1978)


A tragic story of prostitute who falls in love with an unstable boy, while her father, a detective, tries to solve a string of taxi cab murders.

Naughty Novelist (2008)


Darian Caine gets a job as a writer for a lesbian magazine called "Flesh for Fantasy", working for Jackie Stevens and A.J. Khan.  Lots of sex happens.