We haven't done an
Amy Lindsay film in a while. This one looks about as generic as they come; let's give it a try.
Jill secretly is in love with Mark. But she inexplicably pretends she's a lesbian so that she can be around Mark. (Fucking insane.)
She works at a publishing company which specializes in shitty romance novels.
Harry (
Doug Jeffery) is the big boss. He tells Mark he better get a certain novelist signed to a contract or else.
The novelist is Donna (
Lisa Comshaw). Alice introduces Mark to the in-demand novelist.
The thing is - Mark already knows Donna quite well. They used to have a hot and heavy romance.
But she's still bitter about their breakup and is just teasing him. Donna won't sign his stupid contract.
Nancy (
Ahmo Hight) is a guileless ladder-climber at the publisher and tries to get Donna to work with her instead of Mark.
Nancy asks Harry who she needs to sleep with around here in order to get Donna's contract.
Perpetually nipping out, Nancy gives Mark a sassy comment as she leaves his office.
Jill is a photographer - specifically she photographs hunky male models.
Cindy secretly watches, lusting after Jill's male model.
Jill leaves for a moment and Cindy jumps in.
Yeah the male model is wearing angel wings.
After cooling herself off, Jill returns and is shocked to find Cindy with her model.
On the roof of the publishing company, Mark and Alice take a coffee break.
She flashes him as she climbs over a rail, but no sex scene follows as you'd expect.
Mark visits Donna in an effort to get her to sign the stupid contract.
Things heat up for a moment, but then they're back to their usual bickering.
Jill walks in on Mark taking a bath. He invites her to join him.
Because that's normal - you just invite your supposed lesbian friend to take a bath with you.
Poor Jill. If only she could tell Mark the truth.
Jill is back to shooting male models. This one is dressed like a devil.
With Cindy gone, no need to stifle her urges pretending she's not attracted to men.
Jill is still depressed - watching perky Cindy request Mark's presence in the bedroom.
Jill lounges around reading...
Good old Mark snuggles up, but again Jill can't admit she's attracted to him.
Jill is hired by Donna as a photographer for her new book. While snooping around Donna's place she finds incriminating proof that Donna's new novel will be a tell-all of their relationship. Worse, she's learned that Nancy is trying to fuck him over to win the contract for herself.
Mark meets with Donna.
Third time's a charm.
Little does Mark realize, he's being photographed and the pictures are going to be used in Donna's new book.
Nancy is conniving to get Donna's signature on the contract.
Donna watches while Nancy has sex with some random guy named Karl (
Steve Curtis)
Nancy brings the signed contract to Harry...
Best scene in the movie: a random bachelor party which Jill attends, featuring the talents of Carina (
Stacy Howell) the stripper.
Stacy Howell provides some unexpectedly graphic shots in this scene.
Whoah.
Jill is back to bathing with Mark.
She finally admits she's not a lesbian and they have sex.
Nancy reveals she's double-crossed Mark, but learns the contract is invalid.
Donna lets Mark know she's signed with Nancy.
She also shows him the photographs that are going to be included in the book of them having sex.
Jill saves the day, revealing that Nancy's contract is invalid. So, Donna has to sign with Mark.
I include the end credits above to make a point. I don't know why it's so hard to get the credits correct - IMDb so often has it wrong, and so do the usual suspects of the "nude celebrity" sites. I get that sometimes it's a challenge, but when they're right there in the end credits - or at least character names are stated during the film - it gives you the distinct impression that these sources haven't even watched the movie. In this case, the stripper isn't listed on IMDb and pretty much all the celeb ID sites get Cindy and the stripper wrong. It's a trivial complaint, but has been getting on my nerves for a while.
As far as this film goes, it's just plain awful. The whole idea that Jill would pretend to be a lesbian, then take baths with Mark is asinine... and Mark is a dud, why would these ladies be obsessed with this doofus anyway? The sex scenes are filmed poorly, and the entire plot about the publishing contract is unspeakably lame. The bachelor party is pretty amazing, but otherwise a total stinker.
★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆3/10
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