Sep 17, 2021

Unlucky Charms (2013)

 


A Full Moon flick about five ladies competing to be a lingerie spokeswoman.  The host of the reality show contest uses a charm bracelet to summon mythical creatures to kill the models in order to retain her youth.


In some netherworld a group of creatures watches the goings on of earth through a portal.

Banshee (Katrina Kemp), Pookah (Ben Woolf) the hobgoblin, and Bloody Bones (Peter Donald Badalamenti II) the cyclops.

And the good leprechaun Farr Darrig (Nathan Phillips) who's sad about the loss of innocence in the world. 

The judges for a reality show contest to become a spokesperson for a lingerie line. Pirl (Seth Peterson), the flamboyant gay, DeeDee Deville (Jeryl Prescott) the pop star, and Baxter Randolph (Charlie O'Connell) the producer.

The contestants: Sheila (Nikki Leigh), Erin (Anna Sophia Berglund), Darla (Alex Rose Wiesel), Audrey (Tiffany Thornton) and Mika (Masuimi Max).

DeeDee judges the ladies. 

Sheila wonders how a nice goody-goody college girl like Erin wound up in a dog-eat-dog reality show competition with bitchy models.


As they stroll upstairs, we get a brief look at Nikki Leigh's booty.

Bloody Bones spies on Sheila.


The cyclops is joined by Farr who suspects they've been summoned to conduct evil deeds.

Sheila, Erin, Darla, Audrey and Mika line up to be judged; Erin loses this round.

Sheila goes to the reality show confessional.

Farr kills her.


It seems that DeeDee is doing the summoning using a magical charm.  The deaths of the models help to restore her youth.

Baxter and Audrey secretly have a fling.

Audrey wants assurance this will help her win the competition. 

They have sex.

But she's not having sex with Baxter - it's Blood Bones!

Pirl and the girls watch the surveillance video to find what happened to Sheila.

Audrey finds the golden egg, but is subsequently killed by Pooka.


With Audrey and Sheila both disappeared, the reality show cast wonders if something's up.

Bloody Bones uses his powers to get Mika to take her bra off.


After the spell is lifted, Mika doesn't remember what happened.

The next round of competititon.

Farr tells Erin to get the hell out.  She urges the rest of the cast to come with her.

DeeDee tries to kill Erin.

Farr jumps in to save Erin and, in the process, is killed. 

It ends with Farr back in the netherworld watching children swing. THE END


This film certainly would have benefited from being a whole lot sleazier; the nudity is woefully sparse.  However, the writing saves it. The story is creative and original, and the dialog can be pretty funny; it doesn't drag, proceeds at good clip - just all-around well written. Plus, I liked the monsters, with the leprechaun a surprisingly sympathetic character.

★★★★★☆6/10

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