Sep 15, 2021

The Beach Bunnies (1976)


The final film of Edward D. Wood Jr., the story is about a tabloid editor who is on a mission to find if a celebrity has had a sex change operation.

Elaine Street (Brenda Fogarty) is the editor at a tabloid magazine.  She's told by the big boss,  J.B. (Cory Brandon), they she better get the scoop on Rock Sanders quick.  The gossip is that he's had a sex change.

Rock Sanders is staying at a beachfront hotel.  So, Elaine takes three hot friends along with her.  The goal is to find out if "Rock has a cock"... and, of course, to get laid. Her three friends:

Lorrie (Mariwin Roberts). Roberts was the April 1978 Pet of the Month.

Sheila (Linda Gildersleeve

Lorrie and Sheila get changed into their bikinis. 

The three friends head down to the beach.

Sheila links up with a rich surfer named Dennis (Johnny Fain).

Elaine works on ways to get access to Rock Sanders.

But she's blocked at every turn by Sanders' flamboyantly gay agent, Bruce Collins (Con Covert).

Elaine has an idea.

She dresses as a maid and snoops around Sanders' hotel room.

Bruce finds her and throws her out.

Lorrie puts on a bikini in front of a mirror.

Sheila's also topless.  Lots of random nudity around the hotel room.

Sheila goes on a date with Dennis, but doesn't put out.  She's still a virgin.

Stephen C. Apostolof makes a cameo as the piano man.

Bonnie and Lorrie are picked up by a couple of leisure suit wearing lounge lizards.

Bonnie pairs up with Chris (Harvey Shain).

Lorrie pairs with Dave (Rick Cassidy).

Lorrie and Dave go back to his room.

Bonnie goes to Chris' boat.

They have sex on the beach.

A brief intermission back at their room, then it's back to fucking.

Bonnie is out on the high seas with Chris.

Off go the bikini bottoms.

Sheila made the mistake of walking alone on the beach and is stopped by three rapists.

Two of the rapists' names are Coolie and Hickory. 

Sheila's clothes are ripped off and she's raped by Hickory.

Then, Sheila decides she likes it.  Goddammit, how many times have we seen this happen in seventies exploitation films?  I've long since lost count.

The rapists take their turn with Sheila.

Meanwhile, Elaine tries one unsuccessful attempt after another to get access to Sanders.  It's supposed to be funny, but it's pure cringe.

Bonnie gets out of the shower.

She checks on Sheila who's still sleeping.

Sheila wakes up and tells how wonderful it was to be raped.  WTF?  

Where's Lorrie? Oh, she's still getting pounded by Dave.

Sheila goes back on a date with Dennis.

The gang rape has awakened the tiger in Sheila.  She wants to have sex with Dennis now.

They have a big party on the beach their last night at the hotel.

Bonnie has a farewell bang with Chris.

Lorrie with Dave.

Sheila with Dennis.

And Elaine with Rock Sanders (Marland Proctor).  Looks like she'll finally learn if that sex change operation gossip is true or not. THE END 

This is the last project from Ed Wood, Jr. (minus the posthumous credits); he hadn't really done much for a few years prior to this either.  So, I'm going to go out on a limb and say he wasn't in the greatest of mental health when he wrote this.  I mean, the writing here is just dreadful cornball banter - and the sleaze is ubiquitous but fairly tame. It's been about 20 years since Plan 9, and the magic is long gone.


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