Sep 30, 2021

Nerone (1977)

 


An absolutely insane telling of the Emperor Nero story, complete with disco tunes and gratuitous nudity. 



Nerone (Pippo Franco) and Poppea (Maria Grazia Buccella) his second wife

Roscio (Bombolo) his charioteer arrives

Maria Grazia Buccella spends all her screen time basically topless.

The christians protest

Licia (Paola Tedesco) their leader

She throws eggs at Roscio and is arrested.

Tigellino (Gianfranco D'Angelo) is Nero's literally iron-fisted General.  D'Angelo plays the usual doofus he always plays.

Petronio Arbitro (Enrico Montesano) is Nero's entertainer.

He and Poppea do a song and dance number.

Poppea leads the revelry out into the encampment.

Did I mention this was a musical?

Lucilla (Carmen Russo) runts topless from her tent to join the revelry. 

Nero and a Roscio (besmitten by those titties) give her a ride on the chariot.


The film actually seems to have a decent budget - with plenty of dancing extras and fairly elaborate sets.


Licia sits in prison.

First she's visited by her ex-lover Vinicio (Piero Santi).

She hands her tattered robe to the hunchbacked gaoler 

Surprise! It's Nero.


Nero brings everyone in to mock the christian woman.


Impressive nudity from Paola Tedesco in this film.




The Roman Senate


Tigellino and Agrippina (Paola Borboni), Nero's mother.

Vinicio and Licia listen to an apostle speak...

Saint Peter (Paolo Stoppa) is a wholly unlikeable and snake-like character 

Peter secretly meets with Nero's rival, Seneca (Oreste Lionello)

Poppea does another song and dance


Nero spins her around in the bath


Nero's mother arrives.

Nudity from Paola Borboni.  Unexpected, and perhaps unwanted.


Tigellino meets with General Galba (Aldo Fabrizi) who will soon be leading the capture of Nero, thanks to Seneca's schemes.

Nero hears the chariots approaching for his arrest.


Petronio, Roscio and other dandies find Licia addressing them from a hilltop.


And off come the robes.  Thanks again Paola Tedesco.



As great as Paola Tedesco's nudity is, how long can we bear to witness the awful musical numbers?  I mean, look at this.  It's horrible.

Agrippina meets with Locusta (Laura Troschel) the fortune teller

Poppea gets out of the bath

Tigellino can no longer control himself.



After chasing Poppea around a bit, Tigellino ends up falling in the bath like the fool he is.

Okay, Nero is imprisoned and so on.  It ends with an insane musical number with dancers dressed as crosses versus dancers dressed as centurions. 

It's beyond absurd; and yes this is a disco tune.




It's awful and the musical numbers are pure cringe, but you have to almost admire the dedication to get this absurdity to film.  Paola Tedesco is dynamite.

 ★★★★★☆6/10

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