Sep 6, 2021

Little Girl... Big Tease (1976)


One of the most seventies movies I've ever seen.  No, I don't mean the modern exaggeration of its excesses (platform shoes, disco, etc.)  If you remember the seventies you know what I mean: soft lenses, an overall "brownness", cheesy sappy music, and a constant baseline of political incorrectness. This is the story of a girl whose kidnapped and falls in love with her abductors. It features Mary Mendum as one of the key characters, so automatically it's worth a watch.

The opening theme song couldn't be more sappy.  It's a ballad worthy of a Howard Johnson cocktail lounge:
Little girl, are you afraid of how you feel?
Are you in love, but how can you be sure it's real?
Little girl, when you grow up you'll be surprised
Life is not what you thought it was.  It's time that you realized.
Growing up is hard to do. Growing up is always hard to do.
You need someone that will help you through.
Someone.  Someone to love you.
Little girrrrlll.

Let's meet the criminals: Dakota (Phil Bendone) is the lunkhead muscle of the operation to kidnap a rich girl.

J.D. (Robert Furey) is the brains of the operation.  His girl...

Alva Coward (Mary Mendum), the home-ec teacher of the soon-to-be-abducted girl

Virginia Morgan (Jody Ray) is getting slobbered on by nerdy Mickey (Gary Casten).  She's a virgin and unwilling to get intimate.

She gets out of the car and is picked up by J.D.

She thinks it's just a friendly ride.

Dakota and Alva (in the bath) hear J.D. as his car rolls up the driveway.

FFN from Mary Mendum as she gets out of the tub.

Virginia sees her home-ec teacher and begins to suspect something's not right and asks to be taken home.

Alva keeps the girl calm and assures her it's okay.  She's just going to be kidnapped for a little while, until her dad coughs up the money.

Alva even lets Virginia touch her boob.

It's going to be okay. 

Alva calls Virginia's father for the $2 million ransom

Mr. Morgan (John Gilbert) will do whatever it takes to get his daughter back.

While J.D. and Alva are away, Dakota has to keep an eye on Virginia - even while she uses the bathroom.

Virginia gets flirty, and Dakota tries to resist her advances.

Finally he can take it no longer and rapes her.

A pretty traumatizing scene. Afterwards, Dakota tells her, "You got fucked, and you got fucked good by one of the best.  You should thank me for what I done for you."

J.D. and Alva return.  They show Dakota that they've made the headlines in the newspaper.

Virginia is upset because she doesn't like her picture in the paper.  She's supposed to be sixteen (!) and they try to make her immature in her behavior, but Jody Ray is a bit too old looking to be convincing.  Although she does a good job.

Alva helps Virginia get ready for a bath.

Interesting that this is the only IMDb credit for Jody Ray.  She's actually a decent actress, and uninhibited as well.  A shame she wasn't in more.

Virginia tells Alva about the rape.  

Alva consoles her by letting her latch on to that tittie.

Virginia, totally nude, curls up on a chair.

Alva makes her student feel all better.

Mr. Morgan is tricked when it's time to deliver the ransom.

Virginia's sexuality has been awakened, and she comes onto J.D.

She shows him her boob, and that's all she wrote.

They have sex.

Prior to her sexual awakening, Virginia was able to slip a note to a food delivery boy.  The information has made its way to Mr. Morgan and the authorities.

More FFN as Virginia and Alva dress up for a night of fun.

After fooling around with Alva, Virginia has sex with both Dakota and J.D.

The two men fall asleep, and Virginia heads back to Alva watching from a wicker chair.

She hears something outside the window.

The place is surrounded.

The criminals get packed up to leave for Rio.  Virginia pleads for them to take her with them, but they leave her behind.

How in the fuck are they able to just cruise off in their station wagon?  There's a weak explanation from the FBI Agent that they wanted to ensure Virginia was unharmed - but c'mon.

Virginia thinks longingly about the good times she had getting raped by J.D., Alva and Dakota. THE END

A little slow and cheesy for my tastes.  A restored version would help a lot. How is it that we can find all the seasons of shit like the "The L Word" on Blu-ray, but there's a mountain of classics like this which never see the light of day?  Go figure.


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