Sep 13, 2021

Hot Dog Girls (1995)

 


Interested in watching a movie where girls play strip billiards in a room full of Star Trek collectibles? A straight to VHS T&A fest directed by and starring Tonya Qualls.


VHS back cover


This video is written, directed and starring Tonya Qualls, who clearly saw this is a vehicle for her own career. She's front and center and never upstaged - sometimes hilariously so.

One of the best things about this video is the slice of life shots on Venice Beach.

Land of Snapple.

Tanya and her friends play volleyball, and of course, their shirts just can't contain those boobs. The girl on the right is Mason (Amber Herrel).  Herrel had a brief appearance in Key to Sex (1999) which is, sadly, more than can be said for nearly all the girls in this film (minus Qualls) with this as their only IMDb credit.

The three Hot Dog Girls: Tonya (Tonya Qualls), Madison (Madison Marconi) and Mason (Amber Herrel).  [Note that no one actually says Madison's character name, so we'll just call her that.]

Why are they posing nude on the beach? Not real sure, but not complaining.


Tanya talks directly to the camera and sets up the story.  We check back in with her at the pool periodically throughout the film - and each time she's wearing less clothing.

Tanya informs her roommates that they don't have money for rent, so they'll have to look for jobs.

The girls sit naked in the hot tub and discuss their next move.

They decide to form a rock band (!)

Tanya delivers their demo tape.

I fucking love that Tanya just walks around in a completely see-through dress with nothing underneath. 

She gives the demo tape to a record producer who watches it on his shitty TV set.

We get to see the entire music video (Choreographed by Tonya Qualls, of course).

How awesome is it that they're butt naked in the video?


A tad disappointing that the song is just an instrumental. I can only imagine how awesome the lyrics would have been.

Playing the keyboard.


The record producer informs the girls they have no musical talent.

So, they decide to be strippers.  They take turns practicing with Mason going first.



Madison is next.



The next girl (? actress).


This girl (? actress) does the best IMHO.


Maybe it's because she puts her bush right up on the camera.

Tanya goes next, and - as mentioned - she cannot be upstaged.  Indeed, she's got a whole stripper number that blows them all away.


The girls are all excited to get started.

But then Jeff, Tanya's cousin, arrives.

He tells Tanya that there's openings at Joe's Hot Dogs.



Madison, Tanya and Mason get jobs at the hot dog stand.

Naturally, their delivery service is a huge hit on Venice Beach.

Tanya offers a hot dog to a nerdy asshole and Michelle (Michelle Evans)

He's rude and condescending - stemming from the fact that they all new each other in high school

"Crazy Kelly" (Kelly Degon) jumps in, still bitter about when Tanya stole her boyfriend Steve, back in school.


Kelly vows to sabotage Tanya's hot dog business.

But Joe is quick to discover their evil plot.  He tells Michelle that, if they keep it up, he'll have them arrested.

The Hot Dog Girls count their loot. Tanya says, "Now we have enough money to pay our rent and buy a Corvette."  Wow, that's one helluva profit from selling hot dogs!

Crazy Kelly says, "You may have outsmarted me this time Hot Dog Girls, but I'll be back!"

Tanya and Kelly do battle with pool noodles.

The sound of lightsabers is dubbed.

High tech graphics.

Joe believes the girls are getting overweight from eating all the time.

He puts them on an exercise regimen. Of course, they're falling out of their bikini tops as they do jumping jacks.


So, Tanya tells us of the happy ending.  Now we get to see her frolic with her friends in the pool...

Mason and some unidentified actress.



Tanya, Mason and Madison play a round of strip billiards.  What's amazing is that this room is filled with Star Trek collectibles.  The end credits state, "Special thanks to Jack Margolis for the pool" - so, I'm wondering if this is this is Mr. Margolis' Trekkie man cave. 

Madison is the first to lose her clothing.



They're all naked soon enough.  (And damn are they terrible pool players.)



Tanya takes a bath.

Madison and Mason join her as they partake in champagne and cake.  I love how unprofessional it all is - with Madison wiping her nose making it to the final cut.

This actually pretty disgusting.  The champagne and all the food gets poured into the tub that they're all marinating in!

Tanya thankfully steps out to take a shower.

Madison and Mason join her.


They head down to the beach and play frisbee. 

Tanya hams it up, as they clown around blowing bubbles.


Walking in unison.

Building sandcastles.

The punchline: Tanya says she's so sick of hot dogs she could vomit.  Then she receives a call and learns that her grandfather has died and she's inherited his hot dog factory.

The music credits.  Love to have this on CD.

Stupid as all get-out, but man I couldn't take my eyes off it. The girls are just constantly fully nude.  Plus, there's a time capsule vibe - like you're watching a home video from 1995, and it's wonderful. 

★★★★★☆6/10

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