Un Toro Da Monta (1976)



(AKA A Bull for Riding) An Italian comedy about a virile playboy who finds himself impotent when he marries the gorgeous Femi Benussi. Will his problem be solved by science or the bull he inherits from his father?... I think you can guess.













































CHARACTERS
RATING: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ 6/10

REVIEW: Very similar to Secret Fantasy (1971) but not quite as good. The direction and overall execution felt a little weak. Femi Benussi is an all-time Italian super fox, and the tale certainly wasn't boring... just not done well. This was the second-to-last film by Roberto Mauri who'd been directing since the late fifties so he can be forgiven for phoning this one in before retirement.


SYNOPSIS

Salvatore Frittella (Alfonso Saggese) is on a train to his small village hometown to see his dying father. Salvatore's mind is always on sex. Even on this somber trip, he ogles the passenger's boobs. Salvatore's father's last words are to bequeath a certain bull to him, named Romeo. By his father's side is hot cousin Concetta (Daniela Giordano). Salvatore and Romeo become best buddies. He sees a peasant girl (Angela Contenta) bending over. Naturally, he's soon banging her. Concetta works at Salvatore's Zootecnia (animal husbandry) business. Pupo (Renato D'Amore) and Concetta have a thing going. Salvatore talks with Romeo; something he does every day.

One day, Salvatore meets the love of his life, Sabrina Carli (Femi Benussi). They go for a ride in the country. One thing leads to another, and they are soon married. The wedding reception. Pupo can't take his eyes off Sabrina's legs under the table. They return to the spot in the country to fool around, but Salvatore, for the first time ever, finds himself unable to get it up. In the hotel room, it's no better. This is disastrous. Salvatore consults Romeo. Concetta consults Professor Von Kazzen's scientific paper for a solution to Salvatore's problem.

Salvatore, desperate to find out what's the matter, picks up a hooker named Gigia (Bianca Toso). Gigia takes him to her trailer. First, some espresso. The encounter reveals that Salvatore's still got it. After having sex he runs back to Sabrina. Sabrina surprises him with a porno. The first of many attempts to implement Professor Von Kazzen's various solutions for impotency. Alas, it's another failure. Sabrina, in her next attempt, dresses up as a sexy "cat". Salvatore finds it funny as she's wearing bunny ears. The costume has boobs cut-out and everything... but it's no use. Sabrina even rubs her boobs in Salvatore's face, meowing the whole time. No dice.

And so it's back to Professor Von Kazzen's article., and they plan their next creative solution... They jump in the back of a chicken truck, and try to make it happen. It ends in disaster, with Concetta having to drive them home naked. Next, Sabrina dresses as a hooker. Maybe that'll work. He was able to get it up for Gigia after all. But this just gets them busted by the police. Concetta says she has the perfect plan. Sabrina gets ready in another room. The plan: Concetta (his cousin!) will get him aroused. He will then run to Sabrina's room to finish the deal. Nothing weird about this. Salvatore feels his cousin's breasts then runs to Sabrina when he feels sprung. She's waiting for him. She's waiting for him. But his hard-on wilts immediately. Salvatore is destitute. He talks with Romeo about it.

Sabrina is ready for their most outlandish plan yet. Salvatore will leave the room and watch through a peephole. At this point, Sabrina will try anything. Pupo is tasked with making love to Sabrina while Salvatore watches. Salvatore and Concetta watch the whole thing. But it's another bust. But it's another bust. And so, the attempts get even more bizarre. This time Sabrina does it with a dwarf (Luigi D'Ecclesia). But it's another failure. To make matters worse, Romeo dies. He charges a box of dynamite and explodes. Romeo's funeral service.

That night Romeo speaks to him in a dream. It's as if his bull essence has entered Salvatore, and he emerges a new man. Salvatore smacks the shit out of Sabrina. Then he fucks the hell out of her. Sabrina becomes pregnant, and Salvatore places a candle at a picture of Romeo. THE END

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