Your Tour Guide Through Cinema Trash (and Treasures)

Jun 9, 2021

Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft (1998)


So we left off at Part 9 of the Witchcraft Series.  This time we're in England where a group of female vampires works with Hyde to summon a demon and rule the world. 

We start with cool shots of adult entertainment along London streets.

Two hot vampires, Tansy (Talitha Tallett) and Linnaca (Emily Booth), enter a club.

They single out a guy and grub on him in the stairwell.

Down goes Tansy's dress.

Quite an opening scene.

The girls step aside as their leader, Raven (Eileen Daly), strolls up the stairs to have her drink from the victim's neck.

Interpol Chief Ben Markovec (Frank Scantori) and Detective Celeste Sheridan (Wendy Cooper) discuss the case, and a suspect they have in custody.

Hyde (Kerry Knowlton) is from Los Angeles, and is unashamedly a cold-blooded killer.

Det. Lucy Lutz (Stephanie Beaton) arrives at the airport to deal with Hyde.

The vampire girls arrive at the police station to take away Hyde; they want him for their own purposes.  They attack a poor guard.

When guns are pointed at them, they mockingly raise their hands in jest.

Raven, Tansy and Linnaca bust into the room where Hyde is being held.

Agent Harris (Angela Palmerson) is killed.

After the vampires leave with Hyde, Celeste inspects a victim.  I love how they thought to have a crime scene technician show some leg.  A nice touch. 

Speaking of gratuitous eye cand, check out what Lutz wears.  She's at work, mind you.

Celeste and the chief try and put together clues.

Hyde and Raven have sex.

Celeste and her doofus boyfriend Harry (Glenn McReady) have sex.

After sex, Harry pulls out a ring, but Celeste rejects him, saying it's not a good time to get married.

Lutz was scratched by one of the vampires, so takes a bath to clean up. 

A gratuitous Stephanie Beaton boob shot; always a welcome scene in the Witchcraft movies.

Lutz is staying with Interpol Agent Chris Dixon (Sean Harry).

Then it's back to Interpol; Lutz, Dixon and Chief  Markovec figure out where Hyde might be hiding.

Hyde forcibly recruits a derelict Mikey (Andrew Jones) to assist him in his plan.  He's going to translate an ancient text and summon a demon which will bestow him and the witches great power.

Celeste has tea with Lutz and Dixon.  Could they not get the woman a chair?

Celeste leaves and Lutz flashes Dixon her boobs.

A poorly filmed sex scene, but you can hardly go wrong with those boobs.

Hilariously, Celeste is some kind of superhero. She's the titular "Mistress of the Craft" who seeks power via her white magic deities.

She telepathically tells Dixon where to go to stop Hyde's summoning on Walpurgis night

Raven and Dahlia (Lynn Michelle) abduct Chief Markovec.

Celeste, wearing her superhero uniform, and Lutz, wearing a tied-off shirt (!), are ready to do battle.  Dixon is there too, but who cares about him.

Armed with stakes and other vampire hunting items, they get to work.

Celeste kicks some ass.

I love this shot. I could talk all day about what each one is wearing.  Even Dixon's attire deserves discussion.

Celeste summons a celestial cross to ward off the vampires.

But they overtake her nonetheless. 

Lutz is also captured.  Hyde arrives, ready to start the summoning.

The ancient text

Celeste once again summons her mystical powers; all the vampires are defeated... but Hyde remains.

Lutz is no help; she's knocked out in the corner.  

The summoning begins.  Take note that Hyde has weirdly assembled three frumpy guys as his sacrificial victims: Dixon, Chief Markovec, and Harry, Celeste's doofus boyfriend.

Celeste tries to stop the summoning but it seems she's losing the battle.

At last, she's able to push Hyde into the portal.  Game over.

Celeste and Markovec say goodbye to Lutz.  THE END

While the Witchcraft series has always been a non-serious low budget affair, this one steps into truly bad territory.  So bad, that we must use the "so bad it's good" cliche.  It's ineptness (bad acting, bad dialog, ridiculous story) becomes its charm, and it subsequently becomes entertaining. There are so many quotes from this film that had me laughing out loud.  I love that the Witchcraft series doesn't just park itself in "erotic thriller" territory, and while it doesn't take itself too seriously, it is earnest and not overly self-aware like so many schlocky films are today.  A solid entry into the Witchcraft Series canon.


No comments:

Post a Comment