Mar 7, 2021

The Tourists Want War (1977)


(Original Title: Las turistas quieren guerra) The setup for most Porcel-Olmedo movies is basically the same as a Three Stooges film: the likeable buffoons get a new job, which they're bad at and it gets them into trouble, and their new employers have ulterior motives.  While it's an overused plot device, it worked well for them.

Jorge (Jorge Porcel) and Alberto (Alberto Olmedo) hate their jobs working with dairy cows.

They do have beautful wives and kids.  Alicia (Betiana Blum) is Alberto's wife.

Graciela (Leonor Onis) is Jorge's wife.

Both Jorge and Alberto take their families for granted, and crave something more.

Fate intervenes in the form of Gurruchaga (Javier Portales) offering them an opportunity to lead a tour bus through Buenas Aires.

They don't know what the fuck they're talking about, but the tourists don't know any better.

Alberto and Jorge meet their new bosses - the owners of the tourism company: Frías Garmet (Tincho Zabala) and Gamarro Salas (Adolfo García Grau).

Alberto gets distracted by the tourists' short skirts, but they do a good enough job - and it sure beats working with cows.

Alberto and Jorge even go so far as to lay on the floorboard of the bus to look up the girls' skirts.

Livin' the dream.  Those cows are a distant memory.

As you undoubtedly guessed, Garmet and Salas aren't exactly on the up and up.  They have a scam going, and are using these two buffoons to take the fall.

Graciela tries to get Jorge's attention, wearing sexy lingerie. 

She bends over and purposefully pushes her gown to the side. But still no dice.

Jorge still isn't biting.

Alberto is similarly distracted from his wife by the many hot tourists he entertains.

An American tourist - and we have a lot of fun with her bad Spanish.

Alberto watches her through a keyhole.

The boys take a couple tourists to see a bizarre stage show...

A woman (Naanim Timoyko) has her clothes removed by clowns (!)

The baddies have arrived; Jorge and Alberto are unwitting fall guys.

Alicia and Graciela show up at the stockyard and are informed their husbands quit weeks ago.

This tourist destination is a nudist spot.

Alberto gets in the shower with Karen Mails.  The temperature is muy caliente.

Very brief nudity as he lifts her up; pervs with a good eye can catch a glimpse of Karen Mails' boob.

Jorge and his tourist conquest try to find an empty room...

This room is occupied by a random nudist family.

Shit hits the fan as the bad guys arrive, guns are firing, chaos erupts.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire as Alberto and Jorge are confronted by their wives.

Gurruchaga is able to bail the boys out of it.  He keeps them on as tour guides - but the final punchline is that it's a bus full of old nuns.  THE END

Olmedo and Porcel are firing on all cylinders, and making it look easy as always.  The problem is that they weren't given the best stuff with this film - and, yeah, it wasn't nearly as sleazy as it should have been. The Porcel-Olmedo comedy shtick with super-sexy actresses in various states of undress is always a winning combination - like peanut butter and chocolate.  Without much sleaze this time around, we just have peanut butter... which is fine, I guess.


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