Naked Madrid (1979)

 

(Original title: Madrid al desnudo) Kinda weird to see Paul Naschy direct a light comedy, but here it is. 

Esmeralda (Carmen Platero) is tired being a poor actress; she's decided to get ahead in the business by taking a different approach...

She arranges to meet newspaper executive Don Ricardo Márquez (Agustín González).

He's her ticket to the A-list.  Ricardo knows all the rich and famous.

Esmerelda lays on the proverbial casting couch.

Ricardo agrees to get funding to back a project where she'll be the leading lady.

Vicky (Rosanna Yanni) is a rich lady whose closest friend is her flamboyantly gay assistant.

Baltasar (Fernando Fernán Gómez) is her wealthy banker husband.  He's going to get pulled into Ricardo's plan to produce Esmerelda's movie.

Ramón (Paul Naschy) is Baltasar's chauffeur. 

Marta (Yolanda Ríos) is excited to hear from her lover...

Adolfo Tamayo (Francisco Vidal) meets Marta at the apartment.

She takes off her clothes and jumps in the sack.

Adolfo prematurely ejaculates. This is pretty funny because they went to such lengths to meet up, and Marta was so excited... only to have this disappointment.

Marta gets out of bed and we get a very good look at full frontal from Yolanda Ríos.  A big fan of Rios - she had her start on TV as a host (variety and game shows) then a prolific run in film before returning to a successful career on Spanish television.

Marta tries to say some consoling words to Adolfo, but what really can be said?

Ramón and his buddy Braulio (Blaki) eye the waitress.

Juanita (Silvia Aguilar), whose father is a retired boxer.

Ramón gets Juanita pregnant.  This nude scene from Aguilar is somewhat spoilt by the harsh lighting.

Alicia (Julia Saly) plays Vicky's maid.  Saly is completely wasted in this insignificant role.

 Iluminada (Paloma Hurtado) shows up to blackmail Vicky.

She has nude pictures of Vicky in compromising positions, and wants payment or they'll be released.

Adolfo is in the sack with Lorena (Ana Nuño).

Another of Adolfo's women shows up and starts a fight, which Lorena ends by stabbing her with a long knitting needle!

It turns out to just be a flesh wound (I don't see how), and she mends her injured titty.

Esmerelda and Ricardo get in a huge fight which nearly ends in rape.

Ramón gets his ass kicked by Juanita's family.. and a bunch of other shit happens, but I was too bored to care and am damn sure too bored to bother writing it down. (yawn)

A healthy amount of nudity in this film, but good lawd there is a lot of boring nonsense you have to wade through to get there. Is it worth it? Yolanda Ríos' full frontal was pretty sweet, but otherwise nothing special. The film is based on a popular novel which was later adapted again for film and stage (and according to those reviews, much better adaptations). It felt like Bonfire of the Vanities and similarly the book is wholly different than the crummy film version.

★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆3/10