Erotic Tales (1980)

 

(Original Title: Cuentos eróticos) Nine erotic shorts each by a different director and writer.  It seems like an excuse to show women naked on the pretense of "art". I'm all for it.  Notable for the involvement of the great Emma Cohen who directs one short and gets big-time naked in another.

The nine shorts are connected by scenes from a subway.

"El pequeño planeta" - The Small Planet - Directed by Jaime Chávarri

The first story is just Joaquín Hinojosa and Cristina Sánchez Pascual fooling around in bed.  I don't get the point.

You do get to see some very close-up shots of Cristina Sánchez Pascual's bush.

"La tilita" Directed by Josefina Molina

Three gross old people get together to have sex. friend of Gloria (Julieta Serrano), her friend (Alicia Hermida) and Alfredo (Luis Politti).

Nothing pleasant or interesting about this short whatsoever.

"El vil metal" - The Vile Metal - Directed by Jesús García de Dueñas

The bride (Virginia Mataix)

A man in armor (Juan José Otegui) has sex with her.

She ends up all cut up and bruised from the armor.  I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a funny punchline or a profound statement.  It succeeds in neither case.

 "Tiempos rotos" - Broken Times - Directed by Emma Cohen

Carmen (Ana Belén) arrives

She frolics and has fun with María (Alicia Sánchez).

But María is called away by her husband Antonio. Carmen is left alone.

"Koñensonaten" - Directed by Fernando Colomo

An unbearable story; too boring to describe.

"Hierbabuena" - Peppermint - Directed by Juan Tébar

Emma Cohen drinks some peppermint tea.

She gets completely naked and takes a shower.

Yeah, extensive nudity from Emma Cohen is pretty much the only reason to watch this movie.

She takes a dip in the pool.

She's being watched by her husband Juan (José Luis Pellicena).

She dies, and Juan carries her body out of the pool.

Oh, jeez.  Are you kidding me?

Yep, he does what you think he does on a dead, nude Emma Cohen

"Frac" - Directed by Augusto Martínez Torres

A woman (Patricia Adriani) gets out of bed and dresses in a tuxedo.

She dances with a woman in a dress  (Cecilia Roth)

In bed, they watch a young girl (Silvia Ortiz) try on different outfits.  Clearly, this girl is underage - so the nudity here is problematic.

"La vida cotidiana" - Everyday Life  - Directed by Enrique Brasó

A woman (Isabel Mestres) and her husband have sex numerous times in a single night... or at least it appears that way.  Likely, these are just fantasies.

 

We get a long look at Isabel Mestres' bush.

In the morning, it's business as usual.

 

"El amor es algo maravilloso" - Love is a Wonderful Thing - Directed by Alfonso Ungría

I won't even go into this one.  Suffice it to say, some abusive shit goes down under those bed sheets.  An awful and pointless short.

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I hated this with ever fiber of my being; total pretentious garbage. Beyond boring, spectacularly pointless. I'm sure film students have written reverent dissertations of the profound meanings in this film; however, I have never wanted to press fast-forward with more urgency. 

Yet, it is full of nudity - although, often in the dark, or purposefully unerotic.  I'll confess, I watched this because I'm a fan of Emma Cohen, and knew she delivered some major-league nudity in this film.  A bit disappointing it was of her dying in a pool then being humped after death.  What a stupid movie.

★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆2/10