Emmanuelle 5 (1987)

 

The fifth installment of the Emmanuelle series stars Monique Gabrielle and directed by Walerian Borowczyk - so you think this is going to be an automatic banger.  However, Borowczyk had issues with the producers, and what resulted was an unfinished absolute mess.  There is a seemingly infinite number of versions out there, each trying to piece together things differently, even inserting footage from other films (even hardcore footage for the French VHS version).  But you can't polish a turd, and this film proves it.

Monique Gabrielle plays Emmanuelle who's being interviewed about an erotic film she's starring in called "Love Express".

"Love Express" is premiering at the Cannes Film Festival.

We only see a brief clip of "Love Express" - featuring Emmanuelle and a dude embracing in the darkness.

Honestly, I'd have rather watched "Love Express" than whatever mess this Emmanuelle movie is.

We get shots of an actual Cannes Film Festival.  Yes, it's padding, but fun nonetheless.

Also, they are sure to focus on the various Cannes hotties in attendance.

I mentioned there is hardcore material spliced into the French VHS version.  It's ugly and just adds to the overall feeling of this being an unfixable hot mess.

Emmanuelle is introduced to Prince Rajid (Yaseen Khan).

He invites her to his palace in Bengladistan.  

This sequence is by far the best part of the movie.  If they could have just maintained this energy and "Perils of Pauline" vibe throughout, it might have been good.  Of course, this isn't at all Borowczyk's style.  It begins with Emmanuelle being mobbed by the press and adoring fans. 

She's soon surrounded and her clothes are ripped off.

She runs topless to the docks, and her bottoms are pulled off as she jumps on a random speed boat.

The driver of the boat pulls out, not realizing he has a naked actress on board.

The guy is billionaire Charles D. Foster (Dana Burns Westburg).  He doesn't approve of her erotic films and nudity in magazines.

But Charles is a billionaire, so Emmanuelle has sex with him anyway.

Aerobics class.

Her friend Linda (Julie Miklas) informs her that the tabloids are abuzz with her being spotted with the billionaire.  Their conversation is a classic:

Linda: "How was Cannes?"
Emmanuelle: "A total nightmare.  I was mobbed, stripped and chased halfway across the Riviera naked!"
Linda: "The price is high for being a movie star.  No one ever said it was going to be easy."

Charles hears that Emmanuelle plans to go to Rajid's palace in Bengladistan.  He does not approve.

Women are repressed in Bengladistan, so maybe this wan't the best idea for Emmanuelle to come here.

A nice shot of a Sony Walkman.

Emmanuelle gets changed.  Even this scene is filmed terribly.

Emmanuelle meets Eric (Crofton Hardester) who we'll learn has been hired by Charles to keep an eye on her, and protect her.

Prince Rajid turns out to be a bad guy.  Who could have guessed?

Rajid files Emmanuelle among his vast harem.

She's barely there before she is able to escape.  Rajid frantically searches for her.

Eric has rescued her, and carries Emmanuelle through the jungle as their pursued by Rajid's men.

The stop at a river - a perfect opportunity for gratuitous nudity - but no dice.  Opportunity squandered.

They hide out until Charles arrives in his plane.

They toast to her rescue.

They have sex on the plane; it's filmed so poorly that this is what you see.  The plane experiences a malfunction and crashes.  Emmanuelle is able to parachute to safety.

So, why is Emmanuelle smiling if Charles went down in a fiery explosion? 

We see a stupid postcard indicating Charles survived.  THE END

It's fitting that this film ends with a plane crash, because that's exactly what this film is.  A perfectly good franchise sent hurtling to the ground, failing in spectacular fashion.  It's one thing to be a terrible film; it's altogether another when that terrible film is unfinished, spliced together with other random garbage, and still tries to maintain an air of being an artsy Borowczyk film.  Abysmal fail.

[see list of Emmanuelle Movies]

★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆2/10