Aug 14, 2020

The National Mummy (1981)

(Original Title: La momia nacional) A batshit crazy horror-comedy from Spain featuring mummies, vampires, vampire hookers, a werewolf, ax murder, and gratuitous nudity.  What more do need as an incentive to press play?

Felipe (Quique Camoiras), archaeologist explorer, introduces Saturnino (Francisco Algora) to his daughter Ana Mari (Azucena Hernández).

 Saturnino is transfixed by his daughter's...  beauty.

 Doña Perpetua (Lili Muráti) ends up face-first into her birthday cake.

 Did I mention that Felipe is a werewolf?

 The story also features a Nosferatu-esque vampire...

 Dr. Vilaseca (Carlos Lucena)

 Saturnino visits Ana Mari and, little does she realize, he can see she's naked below the waist in the mirror behind her...

 The titular mummy.

 No exaggeration, one of the funniest fucking scenes I've ever seen.  The maid has her arm hacked off, it spews blood everywhere, and shit just goes off the rails...

 I absolutely love that she pours alcohol on the wound - and then takes a swig herself!

 Ana Mari faints.

 Amid the chaos, Saturnino pulls down her dress to cop a feel!  

 Dr. Vilaseca summons his vampire prostitutes.

 This shit is so insane - I fucking love it.

 Felipe and Saturnino go to a brothel (where the prostitutes are Dr. Vilaseca's vampires)

 Saturnino is paired with Mabel Escaño

 The brothel has a gimmick where a "cherub" descends from the ceiling to play the harp while the customers have sex.

 This drives Saturnino nuts and he bats at it like pinata; things get absolutely bonkers.

 Felipe is paired with Pilar Alcón

 He turns into a werewolf.

 The mummy goes for Saturnina

 Ana Mari, in a completely see-through nightgown, explores the house.

 Saturnino has Ana Mari dress as the mummy (as they appear to have lost the real one) and they need to take it to the museum in the big city.

 They drive stakes through the hearts of the vampire women; then they combat  Dr. Vilaseca

 In the stagecoach with the mummy - who they think is really Ana Mari.

 When the real Ana Mari shows up, they realize it's the mummy in their coach.  They run for their lives.

The mummy's bandages unravel as they run, revealing a nude woman underneath.  In the end, everyone is blown up by a stick of dynamite.  What a wild and crazy ride. THE END

Such insanity.  This movie is just nonstop gag after gag; most don't land, but some do.  The real joy is the horror theme, with about every trope you can think of.  Plus mega babe Azucena Hernández.

Double Feature: Another horror comedy which pulls out all the stops, unleashing all the Universal monsters - Capulina contra los monstruos (1974)


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