Aug 1, 2020

The American Angels: Baptism of Blood (1990)

A female wrestling movie; like a theatrical G.L.O.W., a stripper wants to become a wrestling champion, but Magnificent Mimi stands in her way.

 Diamond Dave (Tray Loren) is a top female wrestling manager.

It's Magnificent Mimi (Mimi Lesseos) versus Amazing Amy (Amy Barcroft)

 I was actually impressed with the wrestling moves in this film. 

 Magnificent Mimi wins.

Diamond Dave visits a strip club and recruits Lisa (Jan Sebastian).

 After a whipped cream wrestling match, she showers off.

Dave catches her in the shower and leaves his business card.  Sadly, this is the last you'll see of nudity from Jan Sebastian in this film.

 An upside-down A-Frame.  This may be a first on VZ1.

 Lisa follows the address on the business card to American Angels.

 Her first time in the ring, she gets her ass handed to her.

 Dave provides support.

 Lisa has two wrestler roommates - Marita (Patricia Cavoti)  and...

 Pam (Trudy Adams)

 A Diet Pepsi toast.

Practice is grueling, but Lisa is motivated. Her grandfather was a wrestler named Killer Kane, who stopped wrestling after he killed someone while performing "the snap".  She wants more than anything to restore the family name. 

 Magnificent Mimi the current champion, is a spiteful vindictive bitch.

She tells Pattie (Sue Sexton) the trainer that she wants to help Lisa.

She proceeds to beat the hell out of her.

 Diamond Dave has to break it up.

 Dave again provides a pep talk. 

 After slamming her to the ground, they have sex.

 Funniest shit I've ever heard.  Pam is worried a gang leader from back home is going to kill her because she refused to "sell drugs to elementary kids at school, and I just couldn't do it."

 The three roommates are assaulted by thugs at the beach.

 But they don't know who they're dealing with.  The ladies whoop their ass.

 It's the night of the big fight: Magnificent Mimi vs. Luscious Lisa

This fight is full length - like the last thirty minutes of the film.

 Grandpa Killer Kane cries when it looks like Lisa is going to lose.  (HaHaHa!)

 Luscious Lisa delivers the final move to finish Mimi.  This really needs to be a GIF.

 Mimi is knocked out as Lisa flies off the top rope.

Oddly enough, Mimi is still champion as that was an illegal move.  But the two ladies are now friends. THE END

It's hard to explain what makes a bad movie a "so bad it's good" movie.  It's an overused cliche, but it is interesting to think about. Samurai Cop (1991), Miami Connection, The Room, Birdemic and Raw Force (1982) are all a blast to watch with an audience or friends.  But there are plenty of bad movies that would be painful.  This movie almost has what it takes to rank with the above listed films.  Unfortunately, there is just too much screen time taken up with wrestling, that it might inspire a lot of yawns.  That being said, the wrestling moves are surprisingly good.


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