Aug 2, 2020

Neumonía erótica y pasota (1981)

One of the strangest movies you'll ever see.  Eva Lyberten turns into a grotesque pink Hulk when she gets aroused.

 Cristina (Eva Lyberten) is a model.

She also has been having some weird dreams...

 Like fantasizing about olive oil.

 And being drenched with it.

 Juan (Joaquín Gómez) - this guy looks like a currently famous person, but can't put my finger on it.

He's shagging Bárbara Ben.  Here's the thing: this film's biggest flaw is that it introduces a bunch of side characters that don't matter for shit.  Whenever they're onscreen it's boring and pointless. 

 Maite Llenas, another pointless side character.

 She's screwing Damián (José Gras) another pointless side character

Damián meets this weirdo, Pepe (Víctor Israel), another pointless side character.

Cristina is blind without her glasses; she searches on the floor for something she dropped.

 A guy starts grubbing on her.

She's transformed...

 Into a fat pink she-hulk. What the fuck?

 Cristina returns to normal.

 She gets a suntan oil rubdown on the beach.

 They start to fool around, and she's transformed again.

 She returns to normal, but is traumatized.

Damián and Pepe.  And speaking of irrelevant side characters, here's more....

Cristina's friends Andrea Albani and Sofía Fernández

 I always love Andrea Albani, but what a pointless role.

 the girls are covered in lard for a photo shoot.

Cristina spies a driving instructor in his car.

 Josep Lluís Fonoll has sex with her, but the inevitable happens.

 Cristina is found crying in the car later.

She has an idea - go see a female doctor.  A female because she wants to ensure she won't get aroused.

 The doctor (Julia Caballero) prepares her for the medical exam.

 Oh well.

 Here we go again.

   Andrea Albani is having sex.  Who cares?  Side characters have never been so "side".

Juan has sex with Cristina.

Damián makes a move on Cristina.

 It goes the same way - with the obese pink Hulk.

Cristina wakes up and it was all just a bad dream. THE END

What the hell did I just watch?  Normally, if a film is utterly bizarre like this, it's enjoyable at least from sheer curiosity's sake.  But this was so repetitive it became nearly unbearable.  As mentioned several times, the numerous side characters intersect with the Hulk story only tangentially; their existence is purely to provide nudity and padding. 

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