Jul 22, 2020

What Men Don't Think Is Possible (1971)



(Full Title: Der neue heiße Sex-Report - Was Männer nicht für möglich halten) Released as "Swinging Wives" in the US, but is actually a Schulmädchen-Report style film - actually it touted itself as "the hottest report yet!"




For the American release

 We start with the standard faux-documentary narration.  I thought this scenery was interesting.

 Gisela (Romana Lizalova) is a happy new bride.


But soon her marriage turns boring and sexless.

 She wonders WTF happened.  All she does is cook and clean, and the sex is gone.

 The punchline is that a woman is going door-to-door selling pamphlets about the end of the world. And this is viewed as a good thing to Gisela.  We'll see this couple again at the end of the movie. 

 Bored housewife Annette Westberg (Marlene Rahn) prepares for a professional massage.



Music is put on, and Annette goes into throes of rabid ecstasy.


 Bravo Marlene Rahn; she goes "all in" for this scene.  Absolutely insane levels of orgasmic writhing.


Biggi (Marianne Sock) and Jochen Albert (Jürgen Emanuel) are married with one kid.  Their relationship is going south.  She buys a new white dress, and Jochen basically tells her to put it away.  He's going out - and doesn't say where he's going.

Their marriage is utter shit.

Biggi puts Junior down to bed, and prepares for another boring night alone.

A neighbor invites her over for a party.  She puts on her new dress and goes next door.

 Biggi is dancing having a good time, then someone spills wine on her dress.

 She goes to the kitchen to clean it, and is surprised when a group of guys enters.  What the fuck was she thinking getting naked in the wide open kitchen at a party?

 The men pick her up and basically try to rape her, but she escapes.

Back home, their child reminds them of their love for each other

 A group of woman playing cards.

 Along comes a beer delivery guy, and finds them all naked.



 After recovering from shell shock, he demands an explanation.

 As it turns out, the ladies want some beer-deliver-guy action.  (The lady on the left is Gabriele Scharon)

Silvia (Karin Götz) and her mother Gertraud Klose (Elfi Helfrich). For whatever reason, Sylvia is always jealous of her mother's affairs.

Seat belts weren't really a thing in 1971.

 Silvia tricks one of Gertraud's lovers to take her out to the woods; then she stealthily takes off all her clothes.

 The man gets quite a sight when he opens the door. 


 The punchline occurs when dear old dad returns and happily proclaims what a great family he has.  (Kinda sad, really)

 A really lame story.  This lady is bored with her stuffy husband and is attracted to this suave swinger.

After having sex, she tells him she'll get a divorce and they can be together forever.  They guy basically tells her to get lost, you crazy bitch.  So, she tries to kill herself. 

 Frau Tönnisen (Helen Vita) comes on strong to the mailman.  An impossibly lame story.

 Irma Fricke (Astrid Frank) is a very wealthy and very bored housewife.

 Dr. Daniel (Günther Kieslich) is performing a gynecological exam... what a random, totally graphic scene.

Dr. Daniel (Günther Kieslich) is called to Irma's home (back when they did house calls).  She pretends to faint.


 She's laid on the couch, and undresses for the doctor to examine her.



 Dr. Daniel is unfazed by Irma's clear flirtations.

In the end, he just gives her a shot, helps her get dressed and is on his merry way.


This guy is a door to door book seller; Thomas Mann books in particular.  (Note that the top of this image is cropped; unfortunately the copy I have is is cropped horribly.)

It turns out, he also sells sex magazines.  He then aggressively manhandles the housewife.


Fast-forward, and the woman wants to buy the whole Thomas Mann set - with a bonus copy of a skin mag.

Karin Dobermann (Michaela Martin) wonders what her husband does all day.

Well, as it turns out, this is what he does all day. Franz Dobermann (Karel Otto) gets it on with red-head Ruthi (Ina Bauer) and many other women.

 One day, Karin (Michaela Martin) walks into the room and catches her no-good husband...

Mary (Monika Rohde) is caught in the middle.  

Remember Gisela (Romana Lizalova) the unhappy newlywed from the start of the film? 

Her husband thinks she's having an affair with the plumber, so gets in a fight (and loses).


Gisela tells him that it turns her on the way he fought for her - and this actually restores their marriage. THE END



Not really any interesting stories (aside from the ridiculously over-the-top orgiastic convulsions courtesy Marlene Rahn).  Also, aside from Astrid Frank we don't have any particularly familiar actresses (such as Ingrid Steeger, Ulrike Butz, Marianne Dupont, Puppa Armbruster, etc. who were in so many of these films). That being said, it still is chock full of nudity, and offers the same sort of cheesy fun we expect from a Schulmädchen-Report style film.


For a list of all the Schulmädchen-Report films covered on Video Zeta One click the image.

★★★★☆


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