Jul 22, 2020

Schulmädchen-Report 12 (1978)


(Full Title: Schulmädchen-Report 12. Teil - Wenn das die Mammi wüßte) This is the last of the Schulmädchen-Report series we'll cover.  I understand there are a few more, but this is where we step off.  We'll still cover Schulmädchen-Report copycats, but this is where the "official" series ends for us.  It's already on the brink of porn, and not-so-recognizable from the start of the series, with the usual group of actresses long gone.




 The framework for this Schulmädchen-Report centers on the staff of a school newspaper reading letters from students.  

Anna Wolters (Roswitha Krey) picks up her much-older brother Helmut Wolters (Claus Tinney) at the airport.

 When Helmut walks into the bathroom, Anna stands up.  They're just brother and sister - what's the problem?


Out at a restaurant, Anna meets one of her brother's old girlfriends and gets jealous.

What's she got that I don't got?

Anna finally lays it all on the table for Helmut.

 He eventually gives in, and they have sex.

At breakfast the next morning, there's a pep in her step.  But it doesn't last long as Helmut randomly dies in a traffic accident.

Barbara (Gudrun Grau) and her boyfriend Heiner (Stefan Wiesehöfer) are on a school field trip.

 They sneak off into the woods.

Heiner initiate sex, but Barbara pushes him away.

Later, Barb happens upon a couple having sex out in the woods, and it inspires her.

Barb pulls Heiner aside and convinces him to come with her.

 She takes him to a barn to have sex on the hay.


 Another couple follow suit.

We get the ubiquitous Girls Up Ladders shot. 

And yet another couple gets the same idea. I don't knwo who this actress is, but she provides quite the view when he pulls her panties off.


The joke is that they all come tumbling down on top of each other. 

 The director is outraged when she finds a couple having sex. Everyone laughs

Gabi (Johanna Ebertseder) is brought in for a medical exam by her mother (Helena Rosenkranz).  They don't realize the physician is actually just a plumber pretending to be a doctor.

 The plumber makes the most of the moment.

There's a bunch of dumb jokes, including a thermometer being shoved up her butt, complete with fart noises.

When the mother (Helena Rosenkranz) finds out the truth of the plumber's identity, she faints.

The "punchline" is that the real doctor then proceeds to molest her while she's passed out.

 We check back in with the school newspaper staff for the next letter.

 Edda (Ginny Noack) is a fine student, but she has a problem.

 She's a nymphomaniac.

She can't go two minutes without sex, or pleasuring herself.


You know you've hit rock bottom when you're having sex in a VW bus in a junkyard.


 Edda (Ginny Noack) turns to heroine to dull the pain.

Moving on from that depressing tale, we meet Ina Kuppler (Sylvia Engelmann) who is being introduced to the family's new foreign exchange student, Nicky (Willy Adler).

Ina hears some strange noises coming from down the hall.

 She investigates (in the nude, of course)


The joke is that it sounds like Nicky is having furious sex, but in fact is just exercising. 

The sound of Nicky exercising has aroused something in Ina.


 Ina tells her friends about the new lodger.

Betty (Margitta Hofer) wants to meet this Nicky character.


 Ina should have never introduced them.

She spots Betty together with Nicky and follows them.

 They go to a nudist club.

Ina is horrified.

 She finds that Betty has taken Nicky into the sauna, so joins them.

 I love the way Ina just flings Betty's legs to the side and takes her place next to Nicky.


But it was all for nothing. Ina returns home quite upset.

 But that night, Nicky comes to her room, and she has her wish.

They screw, creating all kinds of noise.  The joke is that the parents just presume it's Nicky exercising again. 


This is a good one to end on.  It certainly didn't jump the shark, but we can see where this is going.  The weirdness, the quirky mojo that made the films so interesting is more-or-less gone, in favor of a borderline-porn vibe.  


For a list of all the Schulmädchen-Report films covered on Video Zeta One click the image.
★★★★☆

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