Jul 24, 2020

Frühreifen-Report (1973)



Another Schulmädchen-Report film (who knew there were so many?).  This features some familiar faces in German exploitation including Ulrike Butz and Sonja Jeannine.  Usually these films are framed around a central theme, but this one is all over the place.


 Werner Heimbach (Peter Hamm) is an architect who accidentally comes in on his business associate's daughter, Gisela Hoffmeister (Christine von Stratowa), in the bathroom.

 Unable to resist temptation, he scrubs her back, and is busted by her mother who reports him to the police and his life is ruined.

 The next story features young lad Kalli (Felix Rakosi) who has an unhealthy lust for his older sister Anita (Judith Fritsch).



 He watches her through the keyhole.

 Anita gives him money to go to the movies so she can be alone with her boyfriend.

 Her and her boyfriend start to make love.

 Krüger (Nico Wolferstetter) gets annoyed because this little shit keeps interrupting.

 And that's the gag - Kalli keeps interrupting.  (ugh)

Klaus lives under the tyrannical rule of his father.

Klaus tries to shoplift something from a bicycle shop, but is caught by the manager Senta Jäger (Elke Deuringer

 She makes a deal that she'll not report him if he comes over her place.  [This exact thing happened in Lehrmädchen-Report (1972) with the genders reversed.]


 They're caught by her husband.  Klaus is raked over the coals by his tyrannical father.

Every vignette is bookended by this "expert" moralizing on each story.

 Elise (Marie Luise Lusewitz) and her husband wonder how that could have produced such a fucked up kid.

 It's determined the kid is fucked-up because he watched them having sex through the keyhole.

This story is too lame and tiresome to relate. Actor Rinaldo Talamonti is seemingly in every single German sex comedy and exploitation film ever released... and he always plays the same character - the foolish oversexed Italian.


 No idea who this actress is; there's been a lot of speculation, but ultimately still a question mark.

This is the most disturbing and most compelling story. It features Frau Seifarth (Marlene Rahn) and her husband.  They have an awful, mentally and physically abusive relationship.


Mother spends her days shouting and crying; a total basket case.

 She catches their daughter Birgit masturbating, and gives her hell for it.

 The mother watches while dad spanks her bare bottom. I'll just show the mother, as the actress playing Birgit looks to be of a very young age, and they show her butt.  

Poor Birgit lives in a home with a father molests her, and a mother who is an utter train reck.

A highly disturbing ending: when the mother catches dad molesting the girl, her response is that he should just wait a few years.  Then, he'll have two ladies in the house and can have them both.  WTF?

 Erna (Marisa Feldy) is a maid maid

Her patron is attracted to his servant and has a tendency to fantasize that she's naked.



 He watches her on the ladder dusting paintings. (To be added to the list.)

 He watches her through the keyhole (as seems to happen in every story.)

 They have sex.

 Turns out, Erna is down with it and wants more.


Two girls lay naked in the forest (Sonja Embriz - on the left) 


Their friend Topsy (Ulrike Butz) comes along with her boyfriend.

 The two girls watch from behind the foliage while they have sex (and are interrupted by fire ants)

 Resi Huber (Sonja Jeannine) is a poor farmhand. 

While she milks cows, she looks at fashion catalogs and dreams of having money to afford the clothing.  This is funny because I actually have this exact Burda catalog.

She agrees to have sex with another farmhand for 20 marks 


She's able to buy a dress like one in Burda. 

Inspired by the easy 20 marks she just earned, she tries to earn some more from store manager.

The gag is that she services him below the counter while he struggles to interact with customers. 


 Resi is picked up by an old guy with some serious money.

 He takes her to a decadent party.

The cops bust up the party and Resi is arrested.

The final story is actually not a cautionary tale, but rather how a parent should handle their child's sexual issues.  In this case a mother walks in on her daughter masturbating. 


Unlike the horrible way Birgit's mother handled her being caught masturbating, this mother talks with her about it and lends her advice and support.  It ends happily for the family, doing things the right way. THE END


Like all Schulmädchen-Report films, it can be faulted for a lot of things, but lack of nudity isn't one of them.  The trouble with this one is that the stories a just so damn boring and dumb.  Honestly, just a few more minute effort into the writing on each vignette would have gone a long way.


For a list of all the Schulmädchen-Report films covered on Video Zeta One click the image.

★☆☆

1 comment:

  1. Christine von Stratowa was at most of only 13 years when she portrays the nubile young Mädchen in the film's opening and closing vignettes. Though appearing in several other German sex comedies this film is her most explicit role with a rather extended full front and rear bathing sequence turning to fondling and mild foreplay. Amid quick close ups of her hair covered pubis and still budding breasts, 36-year-old Peter Hamm gently caresses her navel, chest, and upper thigh while snuggling her cheek and extolling her adolescent ripeness. The scene is revisited briefly at the end, quickly followed by another of Christine blissfully pleasuring herself while reclining nude, seen from above with puffy nipples on full display.

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