Jun 27, 2020

Three Burning Mexicans (1986)

(Original Title: Tres Mexicanos ardientes) Three married men pool their financial resources so they can afford to support a beautiful model (Lina Santos).  However, this and other infidelities turns a standard love triangle into a more and more tangled web of adultery that blows up in the end.

 Gloria (Lina Santos) is a gorgeous model

 A man approaches behind her...

 She turns to the camera - this is actually a TV commercial.

Roberto (Alfonso Zayas) is the commercial director who also happens to be obsessed with her.  But he has two problems - he's married, and he can't afford her.

 Roberto meets with his two friends  Julio (Alberto Rojas) and (Joaquín García "Borolas").  They agree to consolidate funds and "share" Gloria.

 Roberto and Julio show Gloria her new apartment, but they're interrupted by the arrival of Roberto's wife...

 Carmen (Ana De Sade)

 Roberto hides while Gloria and Julio try to play it off.

Now we get to the most bizarre element of this film: Roberto's relative and lookalike, also played by Alfonso Zayas.  He's traveled to the big city without a peso to his name.  I primarily know Zayas from La Pulqueria (1981), but he was well known and in a ton of comedies. 

An extremely bizarre and disturbing scene: Angélica Ruiz walks alone down the alley. 

 The twin proceeds to rip all of her clothes off and rape her!

Aaaand Angélica Ruiz starts to like it.  WTF?

The twin is hit by a midget, (José René Ruiz, "Tun Tun")

 Hilariously, Tun Tun tries to bury him in the cemetery 

The twin survives and tells Tun Tun the story of his life back in the small village...

 In the village, the twin would basically just rape every woman he came across. 

 And each time, the rape victim ends up liking it.

 The women of the village begin throwing themselves at him.

 The twin and Tun Tun show up at Gloria's place.

They hold her at gunpoint.

 The twin rapes Gloria.  This is supposed to be a comedy, by the way.

 Holy fuck this is disturbing.  Tun Tun makes faces while he watches the twin rape Gloria.

Later, Gloria is being followed while she shops.

The woman is Rita (Patricia Rivera) - Julio's wife 

 She confronts Gloria, but she's able to calm her down and explain.

 They go back to Gloria's place and formulate a plan to get back at Julio.

There's so much nudity in this film, it's insane.

The plan: Julio will come over to fuck Gloria.  When he goes to the bedroom, they'll swap places in the dark.  They'll turn on the light and reveal that Julia has actually been screwing his own wife - won't that be a shock and teach him a lesson?

 Julio arrives

 Gloria plays with Julio while Rita gets ready in the bedroom.

 So, now Gloria hides in the closet while Rita changes places with her and gets in the bed.

 But there's a glitch in the plan.  Little do the ladies know, Roberto arrives.  He hits Julio over the head, knocking him out, so that he can have sex with Gloria.

She turns off the light and has sex with a man she thinks is her husband, Julio.  But she's actually fucking his friend Roberto.

 The twin is still up to his usual disturbing tomfoolery; this time it gets him thrown out a top floor window.

 They think he's dead, and almost do an autopsy.  He wakes up in the nick of time.

Remember Carmen (Ana De Sade), Roberto's wife?  She's arriving at the apartment with Borolas's wife (Rossy Mendoza).

So, now we have the three wives of the three amigos, plus Gloria.

Gloria has a plan to turn the tables on their men, exposing their adultery in the most insane manner possible.

Rita gets ready for the plan to be enacted.

 An extremely long full frontal nude scene from Ana De Sade.

Rossy Mendoza, Borolas' wife hides in the closet. She'll shift places with Gloria as was planned earlier with Rita.  

 Borolas' is cheating on Rossy with Carmen. I know it's confusing keeping all this straight, and it's really hard to explain as well.  Just roll with it.

 Julio arrives to have sex with Gloria.  But there's another glitch.  Rita gets into bed instead of Rossy.  It gets even more complicated...

Roberto arrives and jumps in bed with Rita (who he thinks is Gloria).  Julio hides in the closet and finds Rossy.

 Borolas and Carmen go at it.

Gloria turns on the light and finds that everything is not as she planned...

 Roberto is shocked to find he's in bed with Julio's wife, Rita.

 Gloria is shocked to find Julio making it with Rossy in the closet.

 Julio has the audacity to get angry at Rita for sleeping with Roberto.

Roberto is angry with Carmen for having sex with Borolas.  And Borolas is angry with Rossy for having sex with Julio.

 It's a big mess, but Gloria is able to iron it all out.

The couples forgive each other and their relationships are strengthened by the experience.

 The film's disturbing punchline: After everyone leaves, we see that Gloria has the twin hidden away in her apartment.  She pulls him to her room and has sex with her rapist/lover. THE END

Damn that was complicated to explain, but watching it isn't so bad - in fact, it's pretty damn hilarious.  I love that it's not just your standard "Three's Company" sexual mix-up.  There's this whole disturbing and odd side story with the twin and Tum Tum.  Tons of nudity and lots of laughs - this is the way sex comedies should be done. 

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