Jun 18, 2020

King Solomon's Mines (1986)

(Original Title: Las minas de Salomón Rey) Salomón Rey has two hot girlfriends (one of them being the always-incredible Susana Traverso).  He gets into hot water when he gifts a fur coat to one, but it's taken by the other.  It's basically like the Kashmir sweater episode of Seinfeld, but with a lot of boobs.  Featuring Tristán, who's fast becoming my favorite comic actor of all time.

Salomón Rey (Rolo Puente) is a rich guy with a problem - he's juggling two beautiful women; neither of them know they're being two-timed.

Tristán (Tristán) is his dutiful chauffeur.  He has a thing going with Martita (Mónica Miani).

 Martita's clothes get ripped off when they're caught in the car door.

Of course, rather than just jump in the back of the car or attempt to put the clothes back on, she has to flail around naked.

Tristán, now at Salomón's office, pictures his secretary Clarita Sánchez (Silvia Peyrou) naked.

 Salomón's girlfriend Morena Iriarte (Susana Traverso) makes a surprise visit to the office.

Morena catches Salomón with a gift box, intended for his other girlfriend.

It contains an ultra expensive fur coat, which she naturally assumes is for her, and Salomón must give it to her (lest he reveal his other girlfriend).

 His other girlfriend is Natalia Arismendi (Reina Reech), who's having a birthday and is expecting a present.

This movie wastes no opportunity to show the actresses naked - here shows Natalia Arismendi (Reina Reech) in bed.

Salomón is in quite a dilemma.  The fur store is out of that variety of coat; so, Clarita calls a friend who owns a fur coat just like the one he relinquished to Morena.  Perhaps they can buy it from her.

The friend is Fernanda Ortiguera (Silvia Pérez). Gratuitous shower nudity - the only full frontal nudity in the film.

Tristán and Clarita pay a visit to Fernanda to possibly obtain the fur coat.

 Fernanda steps out of the shower to greet Clarita, not realizing Tristán is in the room.

 This is why Tristán is a goddamn comic genius.  The way he fumbles his way to put her at ease (explaining a made up physical condition), is just too funny for words.

 You may remember Silvia Pérez from Atracción Peculiar (1988) or El telo y la tele (1985)

 Fernanda calls her Aunt Mecha (Nelly Prono), who she gave her fur coat to.  God this topless scene just goes on forever.  It rivals Riki Lindhome's scene in Hell Baby (2013) for it's "holy shit is she still naked?" factor.

Tristán goes to Aunt Mecha's to retrieve the fur coat, and has a run in with her full grown tiger.

Suffice it to say, the Aunt Mecha route doesn't pan out.  Now, they resort to trying to steal the fur coat from Morena - who is very attracted to the coat.

Tristán puts a sedative in Morena's drink, and Salomón ensures she drinks it all up.

 Morena gets in to bed, ready for sex... but the drugs take effect and she zonks out.

A hilarious scene as Tristán must help pull the fur coat off Morena, fast asleep and naked.

The dirty deed is done, and the fur coat is brought to Natalia, who's ready and waiting.

Tristán waits out in the car, and is propositioned by a prostitute in an incredibly short skirt.

 Unfortunately, I don't know the name of the actress playing the hooker.  But it's another funny scene, thanks to Tristán.

 Unfortunately, Natalia discovers the fur coat wasn't just for her, and throws the gift back at him.  All this for nothing.

Tristán had a run in with some thugs, leaving him in his briefs; and Salomón, kicked out of Natalia's place, is in just a fur coat.  The two are arrested by the police.  THE END

This, my friends, is how you do a sex comedy.  It's packed from start to finish with an incredible amount of quality nudity, and the comedy is completely on point.  It's reminiscent of the British sex comedies (such as the Confessions films) or the Italian sex comedies of the seventies. Except, the T&A is even better, and no one can top Tristán.  This is banger, a great find.


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