Your Tour Guide Through Cinema Trash (and Treasures)

Jun 30, 2020

Call of the Vampire (1972)



(Original Title: La llamada del vampiro) A Spanish vampire flick about a small village plagued by the bloodsuckers.  Featuring plenty of beautiful women, including Loreta Tovar.

The Hot Girl Julietta (1981)


(Original Title: La caliente niña Julietta) We've talked many times about what happened to Spanish movies after Franco - they went absolutely overboard with exploitative elements.  Having been censored for so long, they could finally cut loose with the sex and violence, resulting in some incredible exploitation films.  This film is often considered one of the best of the cine de destape flicks.  I'll also mention that the above movie poster is among the worst ever - with Eva LybertenAndrea Albani and Vicky Palma getting naked throughout this movie... and you choose this nameless lady with big jugs?

Historia de 'S' (1979)


When asked what was the worst movie he ever made, Alfredo Landa didn't hesitate in naming this one.  This Spanish comedy revolves around a guy who feels oversexed and can't keep his fantasies in check. So, he sees a psychiatrist who tells him to let loose and act on his fantasies.  And so he does.

I Did Rocky 3 (1980)

(Original Title: Yo hice a Roque III) A Spanish comedy that's a take on the Rocky films.  An out-of-work loser named Roque gets the opportunity to fight a legit welterweight champion.

Jun 29, 2020

We Want Your Child (1981)


(Original Title: Queremos un hijo tuyo ) A Spanish comedy about a businessman who can't have kids, so he schemes to have his wife impregnated by his servant who has legendary status in the small village among women.

Oktoberfest! Da kann man fest... (1974)


Three men from a small Bavarian town tell their wives they're going on a rabbit hunting trip.  They actually go to Oktoberfest to meet women.

The Pleasure Palace in Spessart (1978)


(Original Title: Das Lustschloß im Spessart ) A Bavarian sex comedy about Geiersberg Castle and its randy inhabitants, including a couple of ghosts.

Three Swedes in Upper Bavaria (1977)


(Original Title: Drei Schwedinnen in Oberbayern) Otto is an adulterous stud who manages an idyllic Bavarian inn with his overbearing wife Olga.  He owes a lot of money, and things aren't looking good for him until the arrival of three blonde pop singers. A Bavarian sex comedy with its usual plentiful nudity and bad jokes.

Jun 28, 2020

Alpine Glow in Dirndlrock (1974)


(Original Title: Alpenglühn im Dirndlrock; the Dirndlrock is a peasant costume; a skirt) A small Bavarian town gets the idea to bring in businesses for extra revenue - but they have a population problem and the census is in just ten months.  So he's issues rewards for couples who have babies.  A visiting Italian is more than happy to help make that happen.

Geilermann's Daughter (1973)



(Original Title: Geilermanns Töchter) This is really just a bunch of bawdy barely-related, barely coherent stories about the inhabitants of a quaint Bavarian town.  Tons of nudity is always guaranteed in an Alois Brummer flick, so let's have a look.

Hunting Time for Those with a Sweet Tooth (1973)




(Original Title: Jagdzeit für Naschkatzen ) Anything with Ulrike Butz is going to be good, and here she basically spends the entirety of the film with no clothes on. So, there's that. The story is about a free-spirited girl having trouble find-.... who are we kidding; does it even matter?  It's got Ulrike Butz naked throughout.  That's reason enough to press play.

Forbidden Passion (1980)


(Original Title: Pasión prohibida) A Spanish erotic soap opera about a stripper who has a thing for her younger brother.  Starring Susana Estrada.

Jun 27, 2020

The Vocational Masseuse (1981)


(Original Title: La masajista vocacional) An athlete gets injured and must go to clinic for physical therapy.  There he meets a sexy nurse, and from there they go to his home where all manner of sexual shenanigans take place.  Starring Adriana Vega, this Mexican sex comedy pulls no punches when it comes to the "sex" part.

The Day of the Masons (1984)


(Original Title: El día de los albañiles) Another Alfonso Zayas flick from Mexico's golden age of sexy cinema.  This film spawned several sequels; basically just about the romances and adventures of a bunch of poor construction workers and their super hot Mexican babes.

Narcosatanicos diabolicos (1991)


Mexico City is being ravaged by tainted drugs which cause the user to go insane.  There's also a swinger vampire, a midget cop, a midget satanist, the devil himself, a sex clinic... need I go on? Let's check it out.

Three Burning Mexicans (1986)


(Original Title: Tres Mexicanos ardientes) Three married men pool their financial resources so they can afford to support a beautiful model (Lina Santos).  However, this and other infidelities turns a standard love triangle into a more and more tangled web of adultery that blows up in the end.

The Hidden Pleasures (1989)


(Original Title: Los placeres ocultos) A Mexican thriller about a psychiatrist who is stalked and tortured by her former patient. Starring Sonia Infante.

Chile picante (1983)


A Mexican sex comedy with two separate stories.  Tons of nudity, moderate laughs, and almost zero plot.  Featuring Alberto Rojas and Angélica Chain.


Jun 26, 2020

Take Away My Fever (1994)


(Original Title: Quitenme la calentura) This doesn't look cheap at all does it? It's another Alberto Rojas sex comedy which takes place at a sex clinic.

Venus de Fuego (1978)


A Spanish revenge movie starring Taida Urruzola who leaves a convent to go after her mother's murderer.

Alert, High Tension (1969)


(Original Title: Alerta, alta tensión) A Mexican spy film in the vein of In Like Flint and Matt Helm. It's the standard story - the evil criminal wants to get his hands on Uranium so he can rule the world, Dr. Evil style.

Look At Me With Pornographic Eyes (1980)


(Original Title: Mírame con ojos pornográficos) A pharmaceutical salesman who basically leads the life of a gigolo, and he has the ability to see women without their clothes on.  It's not a super power, just an extremely lucid level of horniness.  Then one day, it all changes when a woman hits him with her car, and he falls in love with her.  The trouble is, he can't picture her naked for some reason - and she won't put out.  What's a guy to do?

Jun 25, 2020

A Rat in the Dark (1979)


(Original Title: Una rata en la oscuridad) A Mexican horror film about two ladies who move into an old house haunted by a creepy cross-dressing ghost.

Taxi Drivers of Love (1995)


(Original Title: Los taxistas del amor) This Mexican comedy is really about butts and nothing else.  I mean, there's a plot about which pimp will be head pimp... but, in the end, it's really just about butts. Featuring acid-washed Daisy Dukes and a stretch Lamborghini.

The Sex Sense (1981)


(Original Title: El sexo sentido) A Mexican sex comedy with emphasis on the "sex", with almost constant nudity, featuring some stone cold Mexican foxes.  Featuring a nymphomaniac, a disco, a nudist camp, voyeurism, gay rights,  and public nudity.

Capulina Against The Monsters (1974)


(Original Title: Capulina contra los monstruos) There were a ton of these Capulina movies spanning several decades.  However, Gaspar Henaine always kept things pretty clean (even called  "le roi de humour blanc" - king of white comedy).  So, his films don't make it onto VZ1; however, it behooves us to check out his monster movie, which features several Universal monsters.

Jun 24, 2020

A Man in the Beauty Salon (1987)


(Original Title: Un macho en el salón de belleza) A Mexican comedy starring Alberto Rojas; to evade being caught by a criminal gang, he pretends to be a flamboyantly gay worker at a beauty salon.

Jun 23, 2020

Linda and Abilene (1969)

Filmed on the notorious Spahn ranch, home to the Manson Family, although no Manson members actually appearing on film as in The Ramrodder (1969). I recall this Herschel Gordon Lewis film was long thought to be lost (at least that what I read in Cinema Sewer years ago).  

Jun 22, 2020

A Cuckold President (1999)


(Original Title: Un Cornudo Presidente) A Mexican comedy with a surprising lack of information on the internet (not even listed on IMDb).  Well, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised - this was picked up from a dollar DVD bin, and for whatever reason, cheapo films from Mexico aren't well cataloged, on IMDb in particular.  

Jun 21, 2020

Ladies Photographer (1978)


(Original Title: Fotógrafo de señoras) Another Jorge Porcel film - and like all of his (and Alberto Olmedo) works, it involves him doing a job he's unequipped to do.  In this film, he's a newspaper photographer - and, of course there will be plenty of scantily clad women for him to react awkwardly and hilariously toward.

Bañeros II, La Playa Loca (1989)


Technically, this shouldn't be called a Brigada Z movie (see Los pilotos más locos del mundo) as it doesn't follow the same story, and isn't really even a sequel to Bañeros I.  But Emilio Disi does play a character named "Emilio", so it seems to be in the same world.  Regardless, it's an Argentinian comedy featuring the same folks that were involved with the amazing Los matamonstruos en la mansión del terror (1987), so deserves a look.

The Craziest Pilots in the World (1988)


(Original Title: Los pilotos más locos del mundo) Los matamonstruos en la mansión del terror (1987) was so great, it behooves us to check out more Brigada Z movies. As mentioned the name is a play on The A-Team (known in Argentina as Brigade A); they're often compared to the Police Academy movies, but honestly the eighties were so full of comedies featuring a rag-tag group of losers (ex. DC Cab) who can even say where this originates.  Also, as this is an airplane sex comedy, I'm interested to compare to Pacific Banana (1980), Party Plane (1991) and Bikini Airways (2003).

Dolls That Go PUM! (1979)



(Original Title: Las Muñecas Que Hacen ¡PUM!) Basically an Argentinian version of the Matt Helm movies.  While Julio De Grazia is certainly no Dean Martin, it is interesting to see the "In Like Flint" take from the southern hemisphere.

Jun 20, 2020

The Monster Kills in the Mansion of Terror (1987)


(Original Title: Los matamonstruos en la mansión del terror) The Z Brigade films were a series of Argentinian comedies which followed the Police Academy/ Reno 911 -esque antics of a bumbling police squad. The name is a play on The A-Team (known in Argentina as Brigade A); this particular film was the last to feature the four original Z Brigade stars, and is of interest to me as it has a really fun Halloween vibe, with every monster you can think of, and cool horror sets.

Thanks for the Services (1988)


(Original Title: Gracias por los servicios) Another home invasion movie - this one from Argentina.  A trio of terrorists invade the luxurious apartment of a wealthy industrialist.

Shovel Master (1994)


(Original Title: Maestro de pala) Another Tristán sex comedy from Argentina.  In this film, Tristán finds a job as a maestro de pala (master of the shovel - in a kitchen).  Featuring the super hot Alejandra Pradon and Adriana Salgueiro.

Gallery of Terror (1987)


(Original Title: Galería del terror) An Argentinian comedy starring the great due Jorge Porcel and Alberto Olmedo who work in a macabre gallery where the owner puts them under hypnosis to do his evil bidding.

The Cool Don't Marry? (1981)


(Original Title: ¿Los piolas no se casan? ) An Argentinian comedy about a guy struggling with a serious relationship amid flocks of beautiful girls, set in the summer of 1981, Buenos Aires.

The Inheritance of Uncle Pepe (1998)


Director Hugo Sofovich makes the odd decision to return after a prolific streak in the seventies and into the eighties (including El telo y la tele), to direct this fairly throwaway film.

Jun 18, 2020

King Solomon's Mines (1986)


(Original Title: Las minas de Salomón Rey) Salomón Rey has two hot girlfriends (one of them being the always-incredible Susana Traverso).  He gets into hot water when he gifts a fur coat to one, but it's taken by the other.  It's basically like the Kashmir sweater episode of Seinfeld, but with a lot of boobs.  Featuring Tristán, who's fast becoming my favorite comic actor of all time.

Jun 14, 2020

Laurita's Loves (1986)


(Original Title: Los amores de Laurita ) An Argentinian drama about a 40 year old pregnant woman who is given a memory exercise by her doctor.  This leads her to recall the many past loves from her past.

Night of Love (1979)



(Original Title: Ask gecesi ) A Turkish romance about a guy with really great feathered hair who basically bangs an endless supply of girls. Not much in the way of plot here, but ample nudity.

Love Toy (1971)


A Dorish Wishman film about a guy that gambles away his daughter for the night. With just four characters and a single set, the film feels like a stage production - a very seedy, and disturbing play.

Bunny Girls (1976)


(Original Title: Tavsan kizlar) The movie poster makes it look like a fun sex comedy; it's really a highly melodramatic Turkish love tragedy.

Jun 13, 2020

Roman Beauty (1978)


(Original Title: Romali dilber) A Turkish sex comedy featuring the always-amazing Zerrin Egeliler; but she's actually just a side character in this film, somewhat of a retelling of Cyrano de Bergerac.

Love Sip by Sip (1979)


(Original Title: Yudum yudum sev) A Turkish Dilber Ay film about a couple who are struggling to have a child; they go on vacation and join in the libidinous activities of their disco dancing cohorts.

Hang On Son, Hang On (1974)


(Original Title: Dayan oglum dayan) A Turkish drama about the relationships between well-to-do families when one falls on hard times. A tragic melodrama with its share of violence and nudity.

Jun 10, 2020

The Secret Sex Lives of Romeo and Juliet (1969)


At the tail-end of the sixties/early seventies, there were a number of sexploitation films imitating technicolor big budget period pieces. For example: The Erotic Adventures of Zorro (1972), Lady Godiva Rides (1969), The Notorious Cleopatra (1970), and The Ribald Tales of Robin Hood (1969). They generally had Harry H. Novak or David F Friedman as the producer, and starred a laundry list of sexploitation starlets of the day. This one doesn't quite have the "star studded" lineup, but does  feature Karen Thomas, Vincene Wallace and Antoinette Maynard.

Indecent Family: Mother & Daughter (1982)


A mother and daughter work to get an old widower's fortune, as does his nephew and wife.  It's a tired old story, but it stars Izumi Shima and Yoko Morimura; so, it's definitely worth a look.

The Sex Killer (1965)


A loner obsessed with mannequins turns his attention to live females. Starring some familiar faces of mid-sixties sexploitation - Helena Clayton, Uta Erickson and Sharon Kent.