Jul 13, 2019

Vice Academy Part 3 (1991)

Ginger Lynn is back as Holly Wells in the third installment in the Vice Academy series.

Part 3 takes up where Part 2 left off - with Holly (Ginger Lynn) in prison.  She's not exactly the most popular girl in the clink.

This is the most un-PC joke setup in cinema history.  Holly thinks she's about to be raped with a broom handle...

... a butch inmate comes in wielding a broom... but it turns out, she just wants her to sweep up.This is not only a rape joke, this is a joke about being raped with broom.  So incredibly inappropriate - you wouldn't be able to do this today.

There's a prison break led by Melanie (Julie Parton), and she drags along her cellmate, Samantha (Darcy DeMoss).  Melanie manages to escape, leaving Samantha behind.

 Jay Richardson returns as the Commissioner, but we have a different actress playing Miss Devonshire - Jordana Capra.

Miss Devonshire picks up some things at a convenience store and Melanie arrives, fresh from the prison break.

 Not far away, Candy (Elizabeth Kaitan) is having kinky sex in the back of a van, wearing an impossibly short skirt.

Candy is Didi's sister. Linnea Quigley quit the series after part 2, so we have her replacement on the vice squad.  It's a bit like replacing Farrah on Charlie's Angels or Chrissie on Three's Company - but Kaitan is good in the role.

Candy learns of the robbery over the police dispatch radio, and storms into the convenience store guns blazing.

 But Candy has no aim, and shoots everything in the store except Melanie.  She hits this condom dispenser, and we get this nice shot of the nudie magazines of the day.

 This scene is absolutely ridiculous.  It's the annual prisoners versus police force field day, where the two teams take each other on in sack races, charades, etc.

This may qualify as the most egregious waste of a T&A opportunity in the history of film.  These ladies are bouncing around in sacks and so forth, but there is zero jiggle, zero upskirts, zero cat fights, zero anything.  WTF?  Why even have this scene?

 During the competition, Holly, still an inmate, is repeatedly humiliated.  She has to wear a head-cam.... for no reason whatsoever.  It leads to nothing.

Melanie storms the field day event and takes some of the prison girls with her.  But there's something different about Melanie now...

 She's turned into the super villain,  Malathion!  She confronts her old cell-mate, Samantha, who refuses to escape with her.

Samantha's bravery is rewarded by the Commissioner, and he grants her five weeks leave from prison.  Holly is also released.

 Miss Devonshire, Candy, Samantha, and Holly have a girls' night out.. at a strip club (?)

 They all wind up in jail (except goody-two-shoes Samantha) for public intoxication.

Malathion is out creating chaos, spraying women in the face with hairspray and then stealing their purses.

 Malathion and her henchman Dodd (Mark Richardson) celebrate their latest pile of loot.

 She's so giddy, she pulls out her boobs to celebrate the moment.

The vice squad has hired a scientist,Professor Kaufinger (Steve Mateo) to concoct an antidote to Malathion's hair spray weapon.

Candy and Holly are so ga-ga for the professor, they wear their best lab assistant uniforms to assist him with his work.

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There's something crazy sexy about a woman in a white lab coat with black lingerie.  For proof, look no further than TJ Myers in Repligator (1996)

Candy and Holly face off over who gets Prof. Kaufinger.  You'll note the skeleton in this scene - it pops up at other times in the movie in different positions.

Samantha, Holly and Candy try to take on Malathion themselves, but are unsuccessful, and look damn good failing.

 The movie's climax takes place at an Earth Day event sponsored by the police department.

 Holly and Candy do a dance performance in recyclable materials that has to be seen to be believed.

 Malathion crashes their little event.

 Miss Devonshire suits up and uses the anti-Malathion gas developed by Kaufinger.

 Malathion is defeated and brought to justice.

 Candy and Holly round up Malathion's minions as well.  

With the villains in custody, Samantha is granted a position on the vice squad. THE END

This was like the 1960s Batman TV show, but with boobs... unfortunately, not enough boobs as you might expect.  I imagine with the previous films' success on Up All Night and other cable venues which didn't allow nudity, they took the same approach of keeping it fairly tame.

Still, it was a lot of fun.  Nothing is serious, everything is sexy and silly.  If you get depressed about current events or have a shitty day, I recommend you watch this.  It'll be impossible to stay in a bad mood.


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