Blood Harvest (1987)

A slasher movie starring Tiny Tim as a demented clown?... Are you kidding me? I'm not sure how this slipped under my radar all these years, but I plan on amending this deficiency forthwith. Let's press play..

CHARACTERS

• Jill (Itonia Salchek)
• Marvelous Mervo (Tiny Tim)
• Sarah (Lori Minnetti), Jill's friend
• Sheriff (Frank Benson)
• Gary (Dean West), Jill's ex-boyfriend
• Scott (Peter Krause), Jill's boyfriend

RATING: ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 8/10

REVIEW: I really liked this. Not only does it feature Tiny Tim as a disturbed clown, it has Itonia Salchek naked - over and over again,. The synth soundtrack is pretty nice, as is the rural Wisconsin setting. A primary complaint is the killer is just lame. I mean, by 1987 they should have known that a slasher needs a Jason or Michael Myers type character. Sure, it's overused, but it's overused for a reason - it fucking works. Having the slasher be boring old Gary robs the film of its teeth. There are worse eighties slasher films, but because they have a cool killer, they're more memorable and lend themselves to sequels. Despite its drawbacks, it still delivered the goods, featuring respectable kill scenes, an unforgettable clown, and copious nudity. Well done.

SYNOPSIS

Jill (Itonia Salchek) has returned to her rural Wisconsin hometown and finds her home home in ruin and her parents missing. The house she grew up in is covered in threatening graffiti. Standing in her kitchen she finds a clown. The clown is played by the one and only Tiny Tim. The story goes that he was playing at a Wisconsin beer festival and the director, Bill Rebane, on a whim, asked him to be in a movie. The clown explains that he's just Marvelous Mervo. Somehow, Jill is relieved by the news (maybe she knew Mervo from her childhood?).

Jill goes to the local diner to meet with her old friend Sarah (Lori Minnetti). She explains to Jill that the town has fallen on hard times. Her father, a banker, had to foreclose on several farms and has thereby become the most hated man in town. [Note that the dead guy hanging upside down during the opening credits is her dad; his throat slit by Mervo.] The town indeed has seen better days. Jill brings the town's worthless sheriff (Frank Benson) to the house to show him the vandalism. He's not exactly sympathetic considering her father's bad name in these parts. Jill reunites with an old boyfriend, Gary (Dean West), who also happens to be Mervo's brother. We hear the clown singing in the background: "Gary and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Gary fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after." Jill takes a shower. In the basement, someone turns the heat up on the water heater. Jill gets out of the shower [providing a nice full frontal nude scene as she grabs a towel]. Jill goes to the kitchen and is confronted by Mervo:

Mervo: "IIIII'm Heeeee're"

Jill screams, then sees it's just a clown in her kitchen.

Jill: Thank God you are, Merv."

It's not like Mervo is endearing or something. He's every bit as disturbing and horrifying as you'd expect. yet, Jill is just cheered by his presence. That night Jill is chloroformed by a mysterious intruder. Jill's hands and feet are tied to the bed. [We get a glimpse at what she was reading: The Shadow of the Lynx by Victoria Holt.] The intruder takes Polaroids of Jill as she lays unconscious. Jill wakes up the next morning none the wiser that this happened. She's startled by yet another intruder, Scott (Peter Krause), her current boyfriend from college. [These days, Krause is probably a more recognizable name than Tiny Tim, having been in a number of popular shows the last couple decades (none of which I've seen, but I'm sure are great). Also take note of the Commando movie poster.] Jill immediately jumps on Scott. They make love. Scott leaves and is hit over the head by that mysterious stalker. Right after, old boyfriend Gary comes over for a visit. Unfortunately, brother Mervo also comes along. Jill is finally starting to get a bit weirded out by this clown, and Gary has to forcefully remove him.

Sarah comes over. Sarah is abducted when she leaves, and taken to the barn out back. She's strung up and stripped to her bra and panties. A guy wearing pantyhose on his head slices her throat. The intruder once again chloroforms Jill. He drags her to the barn where Scott is still alive and hanging. He tries to rape her in front of him, but is interrupted by a police siren. The killer slices Scott's throat and drains it into a bucket. Later, when Jill opens the fridge, the bucket of blood spills out. Jill has had about all she can handle. She goes into shock. Wouldn't you know it - Gary just happens to come by, and rushes to console her. Always the gentleman, Gary carries Jill to the bathtub to wash her off. He then carries her nude to the couch and tries to rape her while she's passed out. Thankfully, Mervo arrives (no longer in clown makeup). He's able to fight Gary and get Jill out of there.

He brings her to his place where he shows her Gary's sick collection of photographs. She sees that the Polaroids of herself when she was chloroformed. Mervo explains that Gary is an evil sonofabitch. Gary shows up, and Jill runs to the barn where she finds all of Gary's victims strung upside down. In the final scene, Gary almost kills Jill, but Mervo arrives in the nick of time to shoot his brother dead. THE END